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Glorious. Absolutely bloomin' glorious. It hurts, doesn't it? Really, really, really hurts.

Shot down? We gave Clyne his big break. He was in our system for a couple of years prior to making his debut. Not that I really need to explain this to you. Our academy's there to make us money, it's doing it well. I'm happy, I'm f***ing off, don't worry. Enjoy next season.

We've just got circa £2m (some say £2.2m) for our out of contract right back, I shall stick to crowing. I hope this is alright, I didn't realise I had to declare my style prior to each post I made. Sh*t, that's sarcasm isn't it? Bollocks, do accept my apologies.

Hats off, the medal's in the post. We're off with our £2m to not pay our bills to local businesses and St John's Ambulance.

Yup, it's the shining jewel in our rusty crown. Transpires we got around £2m for him and a 20% sell on clause. Not too shabby.

I reiterate, another Palace academy graduate in the Premier League. It's wonderful having an academy that churns these players out regularly. Best of luck to Clyney, Southampton's a good move and a logical step in his career.

Another academy graduate with a Premier League move - it's the gift that keeps on giving.

If you lot got Shaun Derry, I'd be insanely envious. He's the best enforcer in the division and an absolutely top bloke to boot. Loved him with us.

They're renaming the Premier League again?

Alas Birmingham have parted with circa £1m according to journos in the Midlands. We'll take that, laugh all the way to the bank and then realise we've got all those bills to pay from our administration period.

Ah yes, the well known and established connection in the Championship between stadium quality/attendance figures/amount of 0's on the balance sheet and results on the pitch. Is it you I ask for how to get into MENSA?

We are?! Holy shit. Best cut off the bill to St John's Ambulance.

Thank you, Simon Cowell.

The Championship ain't a league you can chuck money at and expect it to work straight away.

When does the punchline come?

They've got a funny way of showing it...

He's the best player in the Championship? Who said that? One of the brightest youngsters, for sure, but not one of the best players. He needs to be able to cross to become a better player. But still, 10 goals and 7 assists in league and cup last year isn't to be sniffed at for a 19 year old...

Blimey, you actually did come back with something worse than "your mum". Wilf not in the Olympic squad? Oh well - that gravy train is best avoided, it always has been a bit farcical and I've said that from the start. Had he played it would have trebled his value to nigh-on £45m. I feel sorry...

Witty. I love your range of images and putdowns. Is a "your mum" cuss next on the agenda? I don't mind a bit of banter, but your levels are befitting of a 7 year old. Let us worry about Wilf, you can worry about cappedthirtyeighttimesforspainandbestplayerinthechampionshipbarnone Vicente.

Routledge we got £1.5m for and is an established Premier League player; Watson we got £2m for and has played 50+ Premier League games whilst Bostock we got £750k for and that looks quite good now - he ballsed up his own career there. Then there's Victor Moses who we'd have got more for had we...