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Mushy is being called up by Pakistan for the tour:(

Six months ago we were booing Crouch, now the 'greatest fans in the world' have taken to giving Hargreaves their special treatment. What utter twats, surely as fans we should aim to motivate the players, but instead we give one of them the bird. I know he has not shone for England, but he is...

Two Klosse for comfort Wanchope one-two not enough Jurgen to win the group for Germany Simon Jordan is a twat Poles not dancing after shocker Kraut off the blocks fast

....on who is the most boring 'expert' at the WC. Gareth Southgate has taken the crown, he makes Sven seem as animated as Barry Fry on Speed, "Errr.......um......that was an interesting throw in". And that is before you take into account his former crimes against the community

Only four inches apparently

Fleegle is the dog, Bingo the gorilla, Drooper the lion and Snorky the elephant

Pissing down with rain, and no sport of any consequence to watch. Even the two lezzers who live next door have closed their curtains so I cannot get the binoculars out and crack one off

Manchester United owner Malcolm Glazer has suffered a second stroke. Glazer's condition is not said to be life threatening but he is expected to remain under medical supervision until at least the end of the month. The American, 77, has been in hospital for most of the last six weeks after...

Just back from a meeting in which I met the former head of the Football League. I was talking to him about being an Albion fan, and he said, without any prompting "The two best chairmen in the Championship are the guy at Crewe and also Dick Knight. These two are not rich men, but have put their...

Two chances for Sir Theirry already, shaping up to be a good one

Don Revie: Buggered off to Saudi for more MOOLAH half way through a campaign Ron Greenwood: Took us to World Cup in Spain in 1982, when we were knocked out despite not losing a match. Bobby Robson: Tabloids wanted him out after poor showing in Euro 1984 campaign, but then took us to WC QF in...

Albion chairman Dick Knight has given a clear indication that manager Mark McGhee will be staying with the Seagulls after all. An upbeat statement issued by Knight suggests he and chief executive Martin Perry have now persuaded major investor Tony Bloom that retaining McGhee is in the best...

Southampton, keeping it on the south coast!!

A former mayor of St Albans lost his council seat after an election tie was settled by getting the candidates to pick the longest penis. St Albans Tory councillor Keith Stammers lost out to Lib Dem Judith Shardlow after their votes were tied at 1131 each after three recounts. The election saw...

If ever proof about what posh girls get up to is needed, surely she is it the filthy minx. Every hole a certain goal, I would happily use her shit for me toothpaste.

Having seen her on Davina last night, would you?

Hen

Former boxer Chris Eubank has been charged with aggravated taking of a vehicle and driving away, police have said. The 38-year-old ex-world middleweight champion, who has an HGV licence, is accused of moving a beer lorry which was allegedly blocking a Brighton road, a Sussex Police spokeswoman...

Where do I go to join the NSC crew?

Come on you wankers, confession time. Mine was on the M23 motorway driving home one night to stop me falling asleep at the wheel