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As the ideal of Classic midfield play comes to be realised only by the transformation of preceding elements, the first point to develop consists in making manifest that it is truly sprung from the creative activity of the player and not coached out of him by the Joe Kinnear's of this world; that...

Much cap throwing, shouting huzzah and downing bottles off Milk Stout.

I see all the young whippersnappers are getting their hoodies and asbos in a twist regarding the current managerial and player situation. Let me tell you things have been far worse in the past than they have now. So grab a glass of best Port, roll out the high quality shag and find your...

6.55 get up, hit head on top bunk, bloody woodwork gets in the way again. 7.15 Clean teeth with Micky Mouse toothbrush, spit out, hit the side of the sink. 7.20 Have morning dump, hit the side of the pan. Mum tells me off for missing the water again. Point out that the richard is in the bowl and...

Recently unearthed by my sibling the younger Arthur Scrimshaw, presented to you tonight is a fragment of a lost carry on script based upon the goings on of a get-with-it-daddio crowd of swinging 60s NSC. CAST LIST Sid Crabtree = Sid James Bernie Simster = Bernard Bresslaw Nurse Dover97 = Terry...

It's been a long time since I last posted on here, but the fingers are no longer as dexterous as they once were and matron now has to help me undo my fly buttons and point percy at the porcelain. To think that 30 years ago I used to have to pay for this kind of service (2 and 6 down Steine Lane...