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Tomorrow, I will be linesmen for an U14s game of football. I'll be flagging that situation offside all day long. It's mental that a bloke standing more or less on the penalty spot, 2 yards off is even a debate about being offside.

There was nothing contentious about the offside. If he isn't interfering with play on the penalty spot then no one ever is. It's offside every day of the week even if the player is wearing blue and white stripes.