[Humour] Joke de Jour

Stat Brother said:

Imagine not being funny when all we had for entertainment was coal.

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The funniest sentence I've read in ages!

US Seagull said:

This. Why did it take 10 posts before somebody pointed out this obvious problem with the whole set up. Did he mean mammals vs insects?

To not consider insects to be fully animals is, quite frankly, racist.

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Specist, Shirley?

ConfusedGloryHunter said:

Specist, Shirley?

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Technically, it would be neither racist nor specist.

Insects are classified as
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Arthropoda
Subphylum: Hexapoda
Class: Insecta

So to treat insects as not animals could be considered "Classist", albeit in a different sense to its more common use for discrimination based on the social class of humans.

That said, I saw nowhere in the the original post that the Animals team didn't include insects. Perhaps the Insects are the ones being discrimatory, in not allowing all animals to join.

[Unless of course the team name is not strictly accurate or is just their nickname, which does happen. I've never known us field an actual seagull, for example. But that would undermine the presumptions inherent in the original "joke".]

As for the so-called Dave, as has been mentioned previously in the thread centipedes are not insects as they fall into Subphylum: Myriapoda (i.e. many legs, as opposed to Hexapoda's six).

That said, I am not familiar with the regs applying to this particular match and they may have been able to field a certain number of players from a different Subphylum, in a similar way perhaps to the Europa League regs allowing a certain number of non-club-trained players.

In any case I find it unlikely the Insects would choose to sign a centipede, even if eligible to play. While such a concept sounds inclusive and should be welcomed in theory, centipedes eat small insects - which could endanger other players, or at the very least create an awkward atmosphere in the dressing room.

On that basis I find the whole premise of the joke somewhat suspect, and the resulting conversation moot.

[Incidentally no centipede has exactly one hundred legs, so @Zeberdi's xG calculations are likely to be bollocks too.]

Midget said:

[Incidentally no centipede has exactly one hundred legs, so @Zeberdi's xG calculations are likely to be bollocks too.]

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On which note - a centipede has ten pairs of testes.....

Bodian said:

On which note - a centipede has ten pairs of testes.....

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It varies by species. Scolopendra gigantea has 13 pairs. Another reason they'd be an unlikely signing as they're shit at defending free kicks.

jcdenton08 said:

I find this story very unlikely.

And Dave, while clearly a talented footballer, showed a severe lack of preparation in his pre-match routine by not putting his boots on sooner.

Something seems off about this.

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This is the simple response. I would not be happy if I was his manager. He should have been playing long enough by now to know how long it takes to get ready.

I think the whole story is implausible from a costs perspective alone. Who is going to realistically sign Dave when there will need to be an extension to the boot room and just how many apprentices will you need on the books to clean the boots. Never mind the vat of dubbin required ( yes I'm that old).

METALMICKY said:

I think the whole story is implausible from a costs perspective alone. Who is going to realistically sign Dave when there will need to be an extension to the boot room and just how many apprentices will you need on the books to clean the boots. Never mind the vat of dubbin required ( yes I'm that old).

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Chelsea?

Midget said:

Chelsea?

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8 year contract surely and a silly butterfly tat on your neck?