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[Brighton] Below the waist grooming



The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 11, 2016
24,578
West is BEST
Subscribe? Easy enough to DIY. I wouldn't be happy about paying someone to tidy up my hairy junction. An evening of self grooming passes for a night's entertainment these days.
 




schmunk

"Members"
Jan 19, 2018
9,537
Mid mid mid Sussex
Missus loves the porn-star look.

Well... it's a look...

 


nwgull

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2003
13,839
Manchester
I feel like I'm being subconsciously made to purchase one of these grooming sets by the fact that they are advertised by literally EVERY podcast I listen to!

Not the Albion Roar, I hope? Allan will be interrupting Aidy's contractual sponsors info bit to give a 5 minute anecdote about the time he trimmed his pubes back in 1999 the day after we played Swansea away.
 












Comrade Sam

Comrade Sam
Jan 31, 2013
1,597
Walthamstow
I had assumed the thread title was when you slowly, via the internet, gifts, sweet talk - prepare your genitals for some intimate time alone!
As it isn't, then my self grooming is, as my wife claims - shedding pubes everywhere.
 






marcos3263

Well-known member
Oct 29, 2009
925
Fishersgate and Proud
I would say you only knick your scrotum with clippers once.

It bleeds and bleeds and bleeds
 










dadams2k11

ID10T Error
Jun 24, 2011
4,949
Brighton
Like many resourceful blokes, I bought myself a set of hair clippers at the beginning of the first lockdown in anticipation of not being able to get a barber-shop haircut for 2-3 months. I can't believe I'm the only one to have used the clippers on my pubes as well! Missus loves the porn-star look.
Done this since my 20's. I lost a bet to a girl friend at the time and had to completely shave it all off down there.

The joke was on her tho as I quite likes it and have continued to do it ever since..

Plus it gives you an extra inch when you look at your self naked in the mirror. [emoji32]
 






NooBHA

Well-known member
Jan 13, 2015
8,586
Anyone else who is male or gender fluid do this?

Mrs Crodo still wants to know what I want off the big man for Christmas and Gurjit from work suggested a below the waist grooming subscription. Suppose it would be a good gift for Mrs Crodo too as it would be a much more pleasurable experience for her when we're teabagging.

You do realise that the average age on NSC is about 67 ?
 


NooBHA

Well-known member
Jan 13, 2015
8,586
Like many resourceful blokes, I bought myself a set of hair clippers at the beginning of the first lockdown in anticipation of not being able to get a barber-shop haircut for 2-3 months. I can't believe I'm the only one to have used the clippers on my pubes as well! Missus loves the porn-star look.

F#ck - If thats all it takes - Keep an eye out for me on the Red Carpet at Leicester Square Odeon next year - I shall practice my ''No Comment'' interview technique now
 


Dick Head

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Jan 3, 2010
13,642
Quaxxann
Firefox_Screenshot_2020-12-16T15-31-59.856Z.png
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Veet -- the Men's Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . .
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 July 2012
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...

So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5
 






Wrong-Direction

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2013
13,435
View attachment 131443
[emoji294][emoji294][emoji294][emoji294][emoji294]Veet -- the Men's Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . .
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 July 2012
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...

So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5
[emoji23]

Sent from my SM-A600FN using Tapatalk
 


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