Funniest Chant

[TheFatBallBoy]

Whats the funniest song/chant you've ever heard at a football game.

One that I can recall was last years County Cup Semi Final Game; Bognor Regis v Eastbourne Borough. It went like this...

When I was a little boy,
I asked my mother,
What should I be,
Should I be Pagham,
Or should I be Bognor,
Heres what she said to me,
"Wash your mouth out son,
And go get your fathers gun,
And shoot the Pagham scum,
Shoot the Pagham scum",

Also did anyone hear that man at the Walsall game shouting "Whats your favourite colour number 8" "What school di you go to keeper, your kits like my uniform"... Just feel sorry for my dad who had to sit nearby

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Your neck scar shows you've lost your head
Tevez Tevez
You'll get no gorgeous birds to bed
Tevez Tevez
You Argie twat you ugly chunt
They've sewn your head on back to front
Carlos Tevez
Herman Munster Head!

 

[pasty]

Nice twist on a usual footy chant theme that made me chuckle.

I wasn't there but I read somewhere (probably on here), that at Carlisle last year Albion fans were treated to "You're French and you know you are".

 

[robbo2u]

I think it was last season away to Orient when a lady was proposed to pitch side at half time when we chanted the inevitable 'You don't know what your doing!'

Made me chuckle

 

[Martinf]

Not sure if this is true but didn't Rangers goalkeeper, Andy Goram announce before an Old Firm game that he was suffering with schizophrenia. As he ran out the Celtic fans sang:

"There's only two Andy Gorams, two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams".

 

[Gritt23]

I used to like the Clive Walker one, to the tune of "you can't hurry love", because of his look-i-likeness to Phil Collins


"You can't hurry Clive,
No, you'll just have to wait,
Speed don't come easy,
it's a case of hit and wait,
You can't hurry Clive..."

Marvellous.

I also think away fans who sing "Will you tell us if we score?" is a nice twist on the shit view from the away end.

 

[Foolg]

Have to say, theres a couple of good ones for Traore when he was at Liverpool that i've heard...
After his horror own goal against Burnely "
Don’t blame it on the Biscan,
Don’t blame it on the Hamann,
Don’t blame it on the Finnan,
Blame it on Traore,
He just can’t, he just can’t, he just can’t control his feet...

and to the tune of "thats amore"

He wears 21
Please don't go one-on-one
With Traore

Please don't look too surprised
When you're scythed from behind
By Traore

When the ball hits the sky
Or its cleared off the line
That's Traore

If you get round the back
And you're suddenly hacked
That's Traore

Yes his footwork is nice
Just like Bambi on ice
That's Traore

When he comes out to play
We all sit there and pray
For Traore

As the game goes along
He will do something wrong
That's Traore

Will he shoot, will he score
Or fall flat on the floor
Oh Traore

Through his gangly long legs,
Goes a few more nut megs
That's Traore

There's a guy at the back
Who keeps making me laugh
Named Traore

When a player goes down
You just know he's around
Thats Traore

But whatever you say
He kept Sheva at bay
That's Traore

In Istanbul he made sure
That we kept the 3-3 score
Thanks Traore

He's a European Champ
Unlike Terry or Lamps
That's Traore

Yes we give him abuse
When Rafa lets him loose
That's Traore

When he's out on the pitch
Fans shout "Raf, make a switch"
For Traore

When there's someone to blame
You all know who is named
That's Traore

Seems to get all the flak
When we're crap at the back
That's Traore

Some would say the flak's legit
Is it all? Most of it
That's Traore

But at the end of the day
We just love him that way
Our Traore

So long may he reign
Anfield just wont be the same
No Traore

Do we love him? You bet
And we'll never forget
Our Traore

 

[Sheebo]

Hammond do do do chase the cockneys up a tree.

 

[KneeOn]

Didn't some fans sing "The final count down" at one game against us?

 

[bn3gunner]

He's blonde
He's Quick
His names a porno flick

About Emanuel Petit by Arsenal ans

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

a pub in Burslem,Port Vale away 2002,
sung to the ugly old battleaxe behind the bar,
"GET YER TEETH OUT FOR THE LADS"

 

[Yoda]

QPR fans at Withdean 7 or 8 years ago:

Chim-chiminy, chim-chiminy, chim chim-cheru.
Who needs Sol Campbell, when we've got Shittu.

 

[Garage_Doors]

My Favourite was at home to Plymouth, during a quiet spell whilst their trainer was on the pitch tending to one of their players, we were given, “you dirty northern bastards” !

 

[Arthur]

Best chant at Withdean I've heard was back in the day when Uri Geller was chairman of Exeter and the 25 or so they had brought came out with "Can your chairman bend a spoon".

Made me chuckle anyway.

 

[pasty]

My Favourite was at home to Plymouth, during a quiet spell whilst their trainer was on the pitch tending to one of their players, we were given, “you dirty northern bastards” !

Thought it was quite amusing us singing that to Crawley in the FA Cup game many moons ago at The Goldstone

 

[sam86]

It's not the best, but worth a mention, the guy (around H/J block) that shouted 'put your bib on, you lump', to the Walsall player warming up with a bib hanging round his neck (for what seemed to be the entire 90 minutes), was very funny.

 

[Lush]

The simplest ones are always the best eg when Mirandinha joined Newcastle in the Eighties ...

"His name is Mirandinha
He's not from Argentina
He's from Brazil
He's f**king brill."

 

[TheFatBallBoy]

Even though its not a chant. Last season when we played Orient away i was sitting next to a group of three big middle aged men and when Brighton scored their first goal instead on celebrating normally. One of the three, (Big Ginger beareded fellow) stood up pointed his big fat finger at three Cockney Youths and quite entertaininly laughed at them for some amount of minutes at the top of his voice.

Thought it was highly amusing seeing the faces of the three youths as they sat there emotionless and speechless...

 

[Sheebo]

The simplest ones are always the best eg when Mirandinha joined Newcastle in the Eighties ...

"His name is Mirandinha
He's not from Argentina
He's from Brazil
He's f**king brill."

But you must have only been born late eighties Lushy

 

[Aldo]

Dirk Kuyt how good you may be
You hit every branch on the ugly tree
Like Carra, Fowler, Crouch, and Craig Bellamy
Dirk Kuyts boss but he's f***ing ugly