[News] What unusual things have you woken up to in your garden

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BN9 BHA

Flakey fanbase member 🙄
NSC Patron
Jul 14, 2013
23,698
Newhaven
Back in my school days, a friend was having a small get together with a few mates as his parents were away. Obviously word spread and shit loads of people turned up.
In our stupid teenage drunken minds we decided it would be a good idea to leave Paul's parents a gift so we proceeded to gather 4 roads worth of garden gnomes, bird baths, road signs, traffic cones, even a pub sign and made a beautiful display in their front garden.
Suffice to say his parents didn't appreciate the gifts. Paul was grounded for a lengthy period and had to knock on every door until all items had been returned.
Top work :lolol:
 




WATFORD zero

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 10, 2003
29,295
Got a small herd of those little shits who live at the end of the garden (along with a few fallow). They’ve never touched the tulips or bluebells, but I’ve had to put a fence around the orchard as otherwise they strip the entire thing completely in one night just as the fruit ripens. Bastard things.

Apple stuffed Venison :drool:
 


Berty23

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2012
4,197
Back in my school days, a friend was having a small get together with a few mates as his parents were away. Obviously word spread and shit loads of people turned up.
In our stupid teenage drunken minds we decided it would be a good idea to leave Paul's parents a gift so we proceeded to gather 4 roads worth of garden gnomes, bird baths, road signs, traffic cones, even a pub sign and made a beautiful display in their front garden.
Suffice to say his parents didn't appreciate the gifts. Paul was grounded for a lengthy period and had to knock on every door until all items had been returned.
Back in my Devon village me and my next door neighbour worked together in a pub every Saturday. One week walking home we moved someone’s garden gnome and thought this amusing (we would have been 14 or 15). The following week we did it again. And the next and the next. They eventually left a note for us with threats. This amused us. So we did it a couple more times. We then changed the game and for the next three or four months (yes really) we added a cheap and nasty gnome to their collection. It became the talk of the village about what was going on. Weirdly half way into it Dr Carl Kennedy started doing something similar in neighbours. This must have gone on for almost a year before someone else got involved and ruined it all by smashing up the gnomes. We still have no idea who it was.

You might wonder how we knew we would not get caught. Well… i said we worked in the pub. We were waiters so finished in the kitchen and had a pint with the regulars. The couple in question were two of the regulars so we always knew they were still in the pub as we rushed home for match of the day.

We eventually came clean because we were fuming someone had trashed them all and we all had a laugh. They were most amused that we were hiding in plain sight every week.

I loved growing up in that little village in the 80s and 90s. But there was not much to do.
 




lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969
NSC Patron
Jun 11, 2011
14,397
Worthing
A BMW.
And, my front wall.

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Coldeanseagull

Opinionated
Mar 13, 2013
8,780
Coldean
'87 blowy thing.....most of my roof. Loss adjusters said as only little over half the roof came down, they'd only pay for half....there were people claiming for stuff that they either didn't have or wasn't damaged!!!..... bastards :mad:
 






jakarta

Well-known member
May 25, 2007
15,964
Sullington
A few years back decided on a ridiculous 5AM start for work in Essex (yes I know I should have gone up there the day before).

I wandered out of Jakarta Towers front door half asleep, when a sparrowhawk came tearing past my head with a still alive (but not for long no doubt) blackbird in his claws.

It rather woke me up....
 




Bodian

Well-known member
May 3, 2012
16,765
Cumbria
There was a skunk in my front garden a few weeks ago. I decided it was a better idea to leave the house through the back.

There were two little skunks in Badgers's garden and house, on called 'In' and one called 'Out'. Sometimes In and Out played outside, but other times they played inside.
One day In was out and Out was in. Badger asked Out to go out and bring In in. So Out went out and in a few minutes he came in with In.
"Well done, Out," Badger said, "how did you find In so quickly?"
Out just smiled and said, "Instinct."
 




el punal

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2012
13,000
The dull part of the south coast
A few years back I came home from work to find a peacock in my garden. Now these buggers are hedge hoppers so how the f*** had it got there? I then made the fatal mistake of giving him some food which gave him the perfect reason for not moving on.

The next plan of action was to find out (1) where it came from and (2) who could take it in. None of the animal charities wanted to know. I was told to contact stately homes to see if they would consider adopting Percy, as we now called him. No joy. Percy was here for the duration. For five days he took up squatters rights and would not shift. What he did though was to crap all over the place - on our garden table and chairs, on our patio, all over the lawn, on every thing and everywhere he took a dump.

So after five days we found out the owner of Percy lived a couple of miles away and would come and collect him - thank God! Matey boy arrived with a huge net to catch the naughty Percy. I can only try using this once, referring to his giant net, otherwise Percy will keep evading any attempt to being caught. The attempt failed. The owner left and said he would come back and have another go.

The following day I went to work and returned home to find no Percy. Gone, disappeared, vanished. I drove to where Percy’s owner lived to tell him. Oh, that’s alright he said, Percy’s here, he made his own way home somehow safe and sound. Aaaargh! :rant:
 




Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
39,342
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
We get a lot of foxes round our way and once woke up to find one cheekily asleep on the shed roof. They don’t often stay long as they send the dog Radio Rental.

Also found a single SOCK belonging to the bloke next door. No, me neither.
 




BN9 BHA

Flakey fanbase member 🙄
NSC Patron
Jul 14, 2013
23,698
Newhaven
We get a lot of foxes round our way and once woke up to find one cheekily asleep on the shed roof. They don’t often stay long as they send the dog Radio Rental.

Also found a single SOCK belonging to the bloke next door. No, me neither.
The sock would have been stolen by a fox, they also take shoes and gloves that have been left outside but take them to other gardens.
 


My football boots, which I'd left in the garden to air, with chunks chewed out of them but a smug looking Fox.

Also about 3 years back in a flat in Hove we'd heard a late night party in the top flat next door, with teenagers hanging out on the fire escape. Amongst the expected cigarette butts landing in our garden was an interesting shaped battery powered device for lonely ladies!

Presuming the teenage daughter was either in a lot of trouble or the returning mother never said a thing, even though they both knew.
 










Biscuit

Native Creative
Jul 8, 2003
22,401
Brighton
I once found a homing pigeon in the back garden. It was obviously someone's pet. Had a tag etc

My dad spent ages working up a series of elaborate traps in order to ensnare it.

I got bored and chucked a washing basket over said pigeon and the job was done.

Dad and I carried him up to the top of a nearby hill and let him go. Certain that the fright, and high altitude would see him on his way back home.

When we returned home, the pigeon was sat on our front wall, waiting for us.
 


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