[Football] Boro dad banned for telling kid to run on pitch

[jackalbion]

This is the 'in' I've been looking for although I'm still not going to have the words for what I want to say.


Jnr is 17 and post lockout we've made the effort to go to more away games.
I've been quite horrified seeing him getting off on all the 'bantz'.

Since Bumley when we were quite close to the away fans I've made the effort to position ourselves right in the middle of us, but nevertheless he's constantly on the lookout for some 'scenes'.

This came to a head on Saturday when we walked out of the stand straight into a fight.
He starts cheering and his phone is out in a split second.

I could have happily put him over my knee there and then!


I keep speaking about it, it's not sinking in.
He's not a fighter I can only think of 2 skirmishes throughout senior school.

Yet I can't help thinking he'll be off to games with mates next season (I was lucky to have this season with him) and in no time at all he'll be clad in Stone Island then crying about his 3 year ban.


Any advise beyond 'boys will be boys' from the great and the good of NSC will be gratefully accepted.

Just hope he goes with some sensible mates, I know that the group of mates I go with are generally self policing if someone acts like a tool (usually after a drink), they sort each other out.

 

[Happy Exile]

This is the 'in' I've been looking for although I'm still not going to have the words for what I want to say.


Jnr is 17 and post lockout we've made the effort to go to more away games.
I've been quite horrified seeing him getting off on all the 'bantz'.

Since Bumley when we were quite close to the away fans I've made the effort to position ourselves right in the middle of us, but nevertheless he's constantly on the lookout for some 'scenes'.

This came to a head on Saturday when we walked out of the stand straight into a fight.
He starts cheering and his phone is out in a split second.

I could have happily put him over my knee there and then!


I keep speaking about it, it's not sinking in.
He's not a fighter I can only think of 2 skirmishes throughout senior school.

Yet I can't help thinking he'll be off to games with mates next season (I was lucky to have this season with him) and in no time at all he'll be clad in Stone Island then crying about his 3 year ban.


Any advise beyond 'boys will be boys' from the great and the good of NSC will be gratefully accepted.

Have you had a chat with him about what it is he's looking for in the scenes? There's an instinctive excitement about that group / tribal mentality that can feel a bit silly if it has to be actually articulated and which in turn might prompt reflection. Or at least something that'll sit in the back of his mind when the adrenaline starts replacing rational thought. Especially if the actual reality of an opposition fan singling him out for 90 minutes would terrify him as he's not used to aggression.

At Arsenal away I was right next to the Arsenal fans and there were groups of Brighton youth who paid almost no attention to the game, too busy goading, really isolating one chap until they got the reaction they wanted. He was probably in his 50s, and at times they went way beyond banter and into aggression and abuse. One guy apologised to me as I stood like the sober Dad at a stag party as they all demonstrated a well-practiced wrist action at the Arsenal fans and kept pushing past to make sure their specific bit of vitriol was heard, then he said to me its the best thing about away days. That blew my mind a bit, but I'm guessing it's a relatively safe way for them to throw the normal rules of behaviour out of the window and even at 3 times the age of some of them I can appreciate how that must be something they look forward to at that age even as I don't like it at all.

So, boundaries have been made ambiguous at football simply because normal rules of society aren't enforced and consequences for a lot of things that'd get you arrested in the street are non-existent in the stadium. Join that with group psychology and how people act in groups in ways they never would alone and that's a recipe for risky behaviour that young men will be drawn to. Making it really clear that boundaries still exist despite how they are being flexed would/will be the route I go if I ever need to - I'd acknowledge it's exciting but also make the point being in a group doesn't mean individuals aren't responsible, it just means more attention is drawn to them and they'll literally be watched by CCTV the whole game. And articulating the boundaries - what's OK in the stadium even though officially it's against the rules (standing at away games, rude songs about the opposition etc), and what is very much against the rules and enforcement can be expected, because at 17 I reckon I'd have struggled to work out how far I could push it if I was watching people get away with things - like, if smoke bombs are actually banned clubs need to be really public about people being caught.

Totally guessing but maybe the safe, non-violent time he's had is why he's drawn to it. It's excitingly different and subversive, a bit of reinvention and a chance to have some stories to tell, we all love to feel part of something with mates and have that bond, and especially if it goes against what our parents want. If that's the case I'd guess he'll be on the periphery for a bit and enjoying it before realising many of them are knobbers that many find embarrassing and then he'll be back to going with you or some of his like-minded friends - a good parental example nearly always wins out despite the bumps as people work out their own values and who they are. Also if you're planning to keep going to the games too don't underestimate how just you being there is likely to be a moderating influence.

 

[Codner's Wallop]

I can remember also facing a threat of a ban for telling Kemy Augustien to run on the pitch…

 

[Munkfish]

I know this is quite close to "boys will be boys" but I do think it's a little to do with (older) teenage boys (and probably a bit to do with the internet too, but I'll come back to that).

Junior GB is very nearly 16 and has never been in a fight at school despite going to a pretty rough one. But he definitely has an enjoyment of football banter and thinks that pyro and stickers are pretty cool.

We went to Spurs twice this season and, in the cup game, were very near three of their bellends in hospitality who were giving it large all game. Brighton were giving as good as they got and so was he. I thought "I'll have a fatherly word after" but I never bothered because as we left the ground he just turned into a mild mannered boy again and we had a good chat about the game. When I gave him the choice of Arsenal away or going back to Spurs he immediately said Spurs and had really enjoyed the "bantz". And, well, he made the right choice.

A couple of other things. Firstly I quite enjoy the wind up as well. I'm perfectly happy to be nearer the other set of fans on an away day but I don't have to be. But I certainly won't stand and take it if someone's having a crack. Secondly, I can remember going to Southend in 1987 with mates from school where actual proper fights were happening in the ground in the corner of the away end and thinking it was pretty funny and I must go to another away game asap. At that age you're immortal. You don't think you'll get hurt / nicked / banned. It's just a laugh.

So, back to the internet. A lot of the vloggers who go to games now and then post up on youtube have a target audience of young males and many make a thing of banter / tension / pyro / pitch invasions. There's a guy who's a Bolton fan who vlogs with his dad and they try and go to derby games and go in the home end but as close as possible to the away end and film the crowd more than the game. They've done two Brighton v Palace videos, one at Selhurst and one here, both this season and I think both were posted on here. Junior GB watches everything they post.

They are one of thousands of people posting those sorts of vids. At the end of the day teenage boys like swearing, tension and smoke. Most grow out of it eventually.

I couldn't agree more with this.

I'd also assume he will have his own set of mates who he will go with and wont end up in the same group you are worried about and will enjoy his own days out and the fun that comes with it.

Take him out on an all day session and make sure he can handle his drink and finally Give him the heads up any strip club where a buckets passed round probably isn't worth going into.

At the end of the day, if he is a good kid regardless of how much he might like to watch from a distance and finds it entertaining he's not going to get caught up in it and he has something between his ears.

 

[Stat Brother]

Thanks all.

I genuinely don't think the gets 'it'.

There's definitely the immortal teenage boy aspect to it all, he's just not seeing the bigger picture.

After the Wolves fight he denied cheering and videoing.
I pointed out it's doing that (while wearing an Albion shirt) makes him next one up.
He replied 'yeah but it wouldn't be my fault, I didn't start it'.
'Did the police look like they cared who started it?'.
"No".

He comes out of the stadiums very charged up and loudly slagging off the opposition seeming oblivious to the fact they're all around him.
After Spurs he was filming all the sad looking fans!

The boy's a tw@t, who'll end up crying for his mummy

 

[Guinness Boy]

I couldn't agree more with this.

I'd also assume he will have his own set of mates who he will go with and wont end up in the same group you are worried about and will enjoy his own days out and the fun that comes with it.

Take him out on an all day session and make sure he can handle his drink and finally Give him the heads up any strip club where a buckets passed round probably isn't worth going into.

At the end of the day, if he is a good kid regardless of how much he might like to watch from a distance and finds it entertaining he's not going to get caught up in it and he has something between his ears.

"Don't go in the Flying Scotsman son"

"Dad, it's a now a gastro pub that featured on The One Show the other week "

 

[Munkfish]

"Don't go in the Flying Scotsman son"

"Dad, it's a now a gastro pub that featured on The One Show the other week "

 

[crodonilson]

It is sadly a trend throughout football post pandemic that fans have forgotten how to behave themselves. PB is right in that we should come down hard and issue lifetime bans to anyone causing a nuisance and interfering with the enjoyment of families etc at games.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Why would you do that? What was he hoping to achieve? Bizarre.

The nob Leeds fans chucking paper on the pitch and at City players.....then some were throwing paper at Leeds players. I mean, what the actual ****, in the great scheme of brain-dead complete and utter morons?

I just looked it up and here you go:

https://www.sportbible.com/football...balls-at-raphinha-during-corner-kick-20220430

Also, agree whole-heartedly that abusing stewards smacks of entitlement. Low rent bullies. Ban 'em.

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

"Don't go in the Flying Scotsman son"

"Dad, it's a now a gastro pub that featured on The One Show the other week "

Some memories,

Was on my last drink one time and asked for the obligatory £1 and said I didn’t have any funds left, no problem, can you wait at the other bar!

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Thanks all.

I genuinely don't think the gets 'it'.

There's definitely the immortal teenage boy aspect to it all, he's just not seeing the bigger picture.

After the Wolves fight he denied cheering and videoing.
I pointed out it's doing that (while wearing an Albion shirt) makes him next one up.
He replied 'yeah but it wouldn't be my fault, I didn't start it'.
'Did the police look like they cared who started it?'.
"No".

He comes out of the stadiums very charged up and loudly slagging off the opposition seeming oblivious to the fact they're all around him.
After Spurs he was filming all the sad looking fans!

The boy's a tw@t, who'll end up crying for his mummy

Dig out and make him watch one of those videos of “youth hooligans” bouncing around and doing nothing, hopefully the embarrassment will be enough.

 

[bWize]

NSC is more like Mumsnet these days

 

[Stat Brother]

Oh and he blames me, you lot, and our entire generation for:-

"Ruining it for him now"

 

[Perkino]

There is a growing sense of entitlement and moronic behaviour which is more evident at away games, especially local ones. Unfortunately, like any club, we have our share of idiots. I love the chorus of the people as they banter between sets of fans but the aggression and abuse that people slip into is rather embarrassing to witness

 

[rigton70]

I know this is quite close to "boys will be boys" but I do think it's a little to do with (older) teenage boys (and probably a bit to do with the internet too, but I'll come back to that).

Junior GB is very nearly 16 and has never been in a fight at school despite going to a pretty rough one. But he definitely has an enjoyment of football banter and thinks that pyro and stickers are pretty cool.

We went to Spurs twice this season and, in the cup game, were very near three of their bellends in hospitality who were giving it large all game. Brighton were giving as good as they got and so was he. I thought "I'll have a fatherly word after" but I never bothered because as we left the ground he just turned into a mild mannered boy again and we had a good chat about the game. When I gave him the choice of Arsenal away or going back to Spurs he immediately said Spurs and had really enjoyed the "bantz". And, well, he made the right choice.

A couple of other things. Firstly I quite enjoy the wind up as well. I'm perfectly happy to be nearer the other set of fans on an away day but I don't have to be. But I certainly won't stand and take it if someone's having a crack. Secondly, I can remember going to Southend in 1987 with mates from school where actual proper fights were happening in the ground in the corner of the away end and thinking it was pretty funny and I must go to another away game asap. At that age you're immortal. You don't think you'll get hurt / nicked / banned. It's just a laugh.

So, back to the internet. A lot of the vloggers who go to games now and then post up on youtube have a target audience of young males and many make a thing of banter / tension / pyro / pitch invasions. There's a guy who's a Bolton fan who vlogs with his dad and they try and go to derby games and go in the home end but as close as possible to the away end and film the crowd more than the game. They've done two Brighton v Palace videos, one at Selhurst and one here, both this season and I think both were posted on here. Junior GB watches everything they post.

They are one of thousands of people posting those sorts of vids. At the end of the day teenage boys like swearing, tension and smoke. Most grow out of it eventually.

I also went to Southend but maybe a year later but i heard the older Brighton lot steamed a jewellers.

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

It is sadly a trend throughout football post pandemic that fans have forgotten how to behave themselves. PB is right in that we should come down hard and issue lifetime bans to anyone causing a nuisance and interfering with the enjoyment of families etc at games.

So that’s a good few refs and VAR for starters ....

 

[Sirnormangall]

This is the 'in' I've been looking for although I'm still not going to have the words for what I want to say.


Jnr is 17 and post lockout we've made the effort to go to more away games.
I've been quite horrified seeing him getting off on all the 'bantz'.

Since Bumley when we were quite close to the away fans I've made the effort to position ourselves right in the middle of us, but nevertheless he's constantly on the lookout for some 'scenes'.

This came to a head on Saturday when we walked out of the stand straight into a fight.
He starts cheering and his phone is out in a split second.

I could have happily put him over my knee there and then!


I keep speaking about it, it's not sinking in.
He's not a fighter I can only think of 2 skirmishes throughout senior school.

Yet I can't help thinking he'll be off to games with mates next season (I was lucky to have this season with him) and in no time at all he'll be clad in Stone Island then crying about his 3 year ban.


Any advise beyond 'boys will be boys' from the great and the good of NSC will be gratefully accepted.

I’m in a similar situation - I’ve a lad of similar age who’s developed an unhealthy attitude to football bantz. It’s easy to blame covid for a lot of things but I feel lock down had a really negative affect on kids of that age who would normally be out socialising. The last few months post lock down has seen him and his mates letting off a lot of steam. I’m hoping it will calm down. I’m trying to control it through the usual Dad chats and holding the purse strings - currently as a student he depends on me financially and he knows that support will be withdrawn if he gets in trouble.

 

[Shooting Star]

NSC is more like Mumsnet these days

 

[portlock seagull]

Thanks all.

I genuinely don't think the gets 'it'.

There's definitely the immortal teenage boy aspect to it all, he's just not seeing the bigger picture.

After the Wolves fight he denied cheering and videoing.
I pointed out it's doing that (while wearing an Albion shirt) makes him next one up.
He replied 'yeah but it wouldn't be my fault, I didn't start it'.
'Did the police look like they cared who started it?'.
"No".

He comes out of the stadiums very charged up and loudly slagging off the opposition seeming oblivious to the fact they're all around him.
After Spurs he was filming all the sad looking fans!

The boy's a tw@t, who'll end up crying for his mummy

Just make sure you capture it when he gets a good smack in the chops - then stick him on YouTube, it’s what he’d want!

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Thanks all.

I genuinely don't think the gets 'it'.

There's definitely the immortal teenage boy aspect to it all, he's just not seeing the bigger picture.

After the Wolves fight he denied cheering and videoing.
I pointed out it's doing that (while wearing an Albion shirt) makes him next one up.
He replied 'yeah but it wouldn't be my fault, I didn't start it'.
'Did the police look like they cared who started it?'.
"No".

He comes out of the stadiums very charged up and loudly slagging off the opposition seeming oblivious to the fact they're all around him.
After Spurs he was filming all the sad looking fans!

The boy's a tw@t, who'll end up crying for his mummy [emoji38]

Anyone can give it large surrounded by a couple of thousand (or even a couple) of similar fans.
Real test is if and when he has his first real fight and gets his head kicked in.
I prefer running away very fast.