[Humour] Joke du jour

[essbee1]

I visited a friend in Slough the other day. On my way back, I found a fish and chip shop; bizarrely, it wrapped everything in photocopier paper.
It’s a little plaice on the A4.

(Disclaimer: I am ashamed to admit that I have a friend who lives in Slough. Also, there
is no such fish and chip shop. It's made up.)

 

[Barnet Seagull]

Unbelievable. You have a friend?

 

[essbee1]

Unbelievable. You have a friend?

They were out when I turned up.

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

They were out when I turned up.

codswallop

 

[Trufflehound]

You're going to get battered for this joke

 

[Dorset Seagull]

Bloke went into a fish shop and asked for cod and chips
“Sorry we are out of cod”
“In that case I will have a sausage, chips and a bit of cod”
“I just told you we don’t have any cod”
“Ok then I will have a fishcake and cod then”
“I told you we don’t have any C-O-F-D, Cod”
“There is no F in cod”
“That’s what I have been trying to tell you!”

 

[Postman Pat]

There's a similar plaice on the A3, but portions are much bigger.

 

[hart's shirt]

On my way back, I found a fish and chip shop; bizarrely, it wrapped everything in photocopier paper.

They might've had a spare bream of paper.

 

[wuntbedruv]

The most extreme example of Pavlovian Conditioning is that every time you hear his name, you think of dogs.

 

[Gazwag]

There's a similar plaice on the A3, but portions are much bigger.

The way prices are going most people will only be able to go to the plaice on the A5

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

I ordered the same, just after you, sorry for copying

 

[grubbyhands]

I've been in that fish and chip shop. I said " cod and chips twice please" ,he said " I heard you the first time mate!"

 

[Bodian]

Bloke went into a fish shop and asked for cod and chips
“Sorry we are out of cod”
“In that case I will have a sausage, chips and a bit of cod”
“I just told you we don’t have any cod”
“Ok then I will have a fishcake and cod then”
“I told you we don’t have any C-O-F-D, Cod”
“There is no F in cod”
“That’s what I have been trying to tell you!”

That chippy that used to be between the station and the Battle of Trafalgar. One night we primed everyone in the queue to ask for halibut. When we got to the head of the queue, matey boy had had enough and just shouted out 'We have no f in Halibut. alright?'

 

[B-right-on]

Just an excuse to trout out the same old jokes. Time to change the tuna.

 

[sydney]

Just an excuse to trout out the same old jokes. Time to change the tuna.

these type of threads always make be a bit tench.

 

[sydney]

i ran into the back of this midget at the traffic light this morning , out he gets from his car , fuming..." I'M NOT HAPPY..!!" he shouts.

"which one are you then ...?" i replied.

 

[Popeye]

I invented a telepathic air freshener.

Makes scents when you think about it...

 

[Papak]

I've been in that fish and chip shop. I said " cod and chips twice please" ,he said " I heard you the first time mate!"

The only joke that's older than time itself

 

[Harold]

That chippy that used to be between the station and the Battle of Trafalgar. One night we primed everyone in the queue to ask for halibut. When we got to the head of the queue, matey boy had had enough and just shouted out 'We have no f in Halibut. alright?'

Ah the famous Sing Li. Train in 4, chips in 3. Much missed.