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[Albion] Things which are not currently criminal offences but which absolutely should be



KingKev

Well-known member
Jun 16, 2011
867
Hove (actually)
Being a tourist during commuting hours (mainly applies to big cities).

The law should be that all tourists should be locked inside holding bays during the hours of 730-9.00am and 5.00-6.30pm.
Getting on a peak rush hour train from London with five kids and 9 suitcases headed for Gatwick and then moaning that there's no room for you to have a F&cking picnic for the kids' tea en route / glaring accusingly at others because no-one is giving up their seat for your tykes as you were the f&cking idiot that thought travelling between 5 and 6.30 out of London was a good idea. Cretins!!! Kill them.

Moaning that you're going to miss your flight because the airline didn't email you to remind you to a) check- in on-line and b) bring your b&stard passport, so you had to go back home and get said passport after arriving at the airport without that or a boarding card. Death by paper cuts administered by a Gareth Malone conducted choir singing a One Direction medley and accompanied by nuns playing the kazoo.
 












Coalburner

Active member
May 22, 2017
287
Re post #375/ I would have thought that wannabe children's entertainers was the definition for Cheggers (Keith Chegwyn), not Chuggers
 


pearl

Well-known member
May 3, 2016
12,714
Behind My Eyes
Shops that claim they're 'saving the planet' by not issuing paper receipts so you give them your email address for them to bombard you with every f-ing special offer/sale/limited edition/you bought ..... so we think you'll love ..... etc.

death by paper shredder
 


KingKev

Well-known member
Jun 16, 2011
867
Hove (actually)
Anyone over the age of 17 riding a skateboard or one of those pathetic mini scooters at any time anywhere - 20 years hard labour; double it if they have a beard; capital punishment if they have two out of a beard, a beanie hat and a guitar on the them at the time.
Bar staff not having Some idea about who should be served next
Feeding gulls
 




Garage_Doors

Originally the Swankers
Jun 28, 2008
11,789
Brighton
Any commentator or pundit who refer to to a foul inside the box as a pen, no its not !
Its a Penalty ! a pen is where pigs live or a writing implement.
 




MattBackHome

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
11,689
Ironically shouting "Come on Tim!" at an Andy Murray Wimbledon match.

Straight to the firing squad. Do not pass Go.

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biddles911

New member
May 12, 2014
348
Any agency that says "lessons will be learned" after screwing up yet again.

Closely followed by "we take this report very seriously and have already taken on board many of the recommendations made".

Despite the fact that most of them were bl**ding obvious anyway and the report took 5 years to complete!

Well, that's all right then.......


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