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Childish rhymes - Please contribute



Muzzman

Pocket Rocket
NSC Patreon
Jul 8, 2003
5,196
Here and There
Mummy, Mummy come and see,
Baby's done a wee,
Where? Where?
Under the chair,
Don't let Daddy see!
 


Muzzman

Pocket Rocket
NSC Patreon
Jul 8, 2003
5,196
Here and There
I was walking through the jungle when my bum began to rumble.. diarrhoea diarrhoea
I was swinging through the trees and it squirted past my knees...diarrhoea diarrhoea


There was more but that’s all I recall.

It goes down the drain like an intercity train... diarrohea diarrhoea
I was walking up a hill and felt very ill... diarrohea diarrhoea
 


Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!
Jul 7, 2003
6,847
Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!
What's the time?
Half-past nine.
Hang you knickers on the line.
When a policeman comes along,
hurry up and put them on.
 


Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,093
Bexhill-on-Sea
It goes down the drain like an intercity train... diarrohea diarrhoea
I was walking up a hill and felt very ill... diarrohea diarrhoea

People think its rather funny, but is really very runny...diarrohea (make noise with mouth simulating diarrhoea).... diarrohea
 


Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,093
Bexhill-on-Sea
Slightly off topic, adidas bags like this were all the rage to carry school books/pe kit etc to school and there use to be loads of sentences with the Adidas acronym

I can only remember 2

All Day I Dream About Sex
A Dog Is Doing A Shit

de9783449d3581ebadaa8ff50f43492c.jpg


I had a red one
 




carlzeiss

Well-known member
May 19, 2009
5,830
Amazonia
Please Mrs Smith can I have a penny whiff
Of your old jam roll .

Go away you dirty beast
Cause its 2 and 6 a piece
For a sniff
Of my old jam roll .
 




Mr Bridger

Sound of the suburbs
Feb 25, 2013
4,408
Earth
There was an old woman of 92 parlez vous.
There was an old woman of 92 parlez vous.
There was an old woman of 92,
Made a fart that missed the loo,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down the street parlez vous.
The fart went rolling down the street parlez vous.
The fart went rolling down the street,
Knocked the copper of his feet,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The copper got out his rusty pistol parlez vous.
The copper got out his rusty pistol parlez vous.
The copper got out his rusty pistol,
Blew the fart from here to Bristol,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

Bristol Rovers playing at home parlez vous.
Bristol Rovers playing at home parlez vous.
Bristol Rovers playing at home,
Kicked the fart from here to Rome,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

Julius Caeser drinking wine parlez vous.
Julius Caeser drinking wine parlez vous.
Julius ceaser drinking wine,
Swallowed the fart the dirty swine,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down his spine parlez vous.
The fart went rolling down his spine parlez vous.
The fart went rolling down his spine,
Knocked his bollocks out of line,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went shooting off to Mars parlez vous.
The fart went shooting off to Mars parlez vous.
The fart went shooting off to Mars,
Knocked the Martian on his arse,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went shooting off to Venus parlez vous.
The fart went shooting off to Venus parlez vous.
The fart went shooting off to Venus,
Knocked the Martian on his penis
Inky pinky parlez vous.
 




Is it PotG?

Thrifty non-licker
Feb 20, 2017
23,099
Sussex by the Sea
Mickey Mouse, in his house
Pulling down his trousers
Quick Mum, smack his bum
Out comes chewing gum

==========

I lost my arm in the army
I lost my knee in the navy
I lost my cock in the butchers shop
And found it in the gravy
 








Birdie Boy

Well-known member
Jun 17, 2011
4,105
Slightly off topic, adidas bags like this were all the rage to carry school books/pe kit etc to school and there use to be loads of sentences with the Adidas acronym

I can only remember 2

All Day I Dream About Sex
A Dog Is Doing A Shit

de9783449d3581ebadaa8ff50f43492c.jpg


I had a red one
After Dinner I Do A Shit
 


Moshe Gariani

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2005
12,068
Build a bonfire
Build a bonfire
Put the teachers on the top
Put Miss Barrow in the middle
And burn the rotten lot
 


Brovion

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 6, 2003
19,322
Here's one my Grandma used to say to me, she heard it circa 1908:

"Mama, what's that on the pavement,
That looks like strawberry jam?
Hush hush dear that is Papa,
Run over by a tram."

Not rude, but just shows that 'bad taste' humour is nothing new.
 




Albalbion

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2009
1,242
Kingston
What do you do when you need a poo in an english country garden?
Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants in an english country garden
 


Albalbion

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2009
1,242
Kingston
olly olly olly, tits in the trolley, balls in the biscuit tin, sitting on the grass with his finger up his arse, playing with his dingalingaling... usually sung to someone called oliver haha
 


BigBod

Well-known member
Dec 12, 2014
350
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
So Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy
Wuzzy
 


Hampden Park

Ex R.N.
Oct 7, 2003
4,987
fart, fart the bombs are rolling
must have been the beanz i ate this morning
quick, quick to the toilet door
pfffffffft too late, its on the floor
 




dejavuatbtn

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2010
7,128
Henfield
There was a young lady from Kent
Who to a football match was sent
While behind the goal
She opened her hole
So that’s where the football went.

(Please excuse the non PC, I qualify as “old”)
 





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