A week later and I find myself back here again... oh the pain.
I will play my top trump first by revisiting Chubby Caroline. Our office is lucky enough to still have a staff canteen, where you can order food made on site by a "chef" (more about him later), however, this week, the chubster surpassed all levels of overindulgence by having the curry served up by the canteen. This would be most normal people's main meal for the day and to be followed later that evening by a snack. But not for Caroline, upon returning to her desk and informing the office of how full she was after the 'lovely' curry. She then opened her office draw and took out, not one... but two bags of crisps. And with the crack of a can of red bull they were quickly disposed of by the chubby chubb chubber, she then treated the office to an afternoon of belches and announcements of what her stomach was doing.
This story wouldn't be complete however, without informing you that apparently Caroline has recently lost a lot of weight thanks to Dr G.Band, visitors regularly comment on "how great she looks" or "how much weight have you lost!" Unfortunately, the cynic in me can only think "Imagine if you didn't eat so much!"
Amy Ailments has also returned this week and not only has she been discussing her recent visits to the hospital, with staff and customers alike, she has started using common phrases that have been mentioned on here before - the most grating... confused.com. "For a second then I was so confused.com"
Why anyone uses this as part of a sentence is beyond me. For me, this is the epitome of bellcheesery.
Briefly mentioned earlier is the "chef", provided by an external company, the chef regularly informs us of what he will be cooking each day and asks how many people will be eating that day, more often than not, the meal actually changes throughout the day and by lunch time you are lucky if it resembles anything close to what was originally advertised.
However, it gets even better, if there are not many diners, the chef will actually close the kitchen and go home before lunchtime and then moans for the next few days that nobody uses the canteen.
There are also a few honorable mentions to add the original list...
Charlie the Clicker - Charlie is actually a decent lad, does his work without really making a song a dance about it which is a rarity in our office, however as the name suggest, he likes to click, and this takes many different forms, this includes using his pen and desk as a drum kit, simply clicking the top of his pen lid but the worst and most uncomfortable is the physical clicking of his fingers throughout the day, he doesn't do the hand flex and click them all at the same time, he clicks each individual finger with the next one always louder than the last.
Smokey Simon - Another relatively nice guy, however, the bloke smells like an ashtray, the mix of coffee and nicotine when in a confined office, for a non smoker it is up there with sewage works and farmyards. Whilst on the point of smoking, I have been tempted to take it up based on the fact that smokers seem to get an extra 20/30 minutes additional break per day.
Apologies for dragging this on! I may need my own subfolder
I will play my top trump first by revisiting Chubby Caroline. Our office is lucky enough to still have a staff canteen, where you can order food made on site by a "chef" (more about him later), however, this week, the chubster surpassed all levels of overindulgence by having the curry served up by the canteen. This would be most normal people's main meal for the day and to be followed later that evening by a snack. But not for Caroline, upon returning to her desk and informing the office of how full she was after the 'lovely' curry. She then opened her office draw and took out, not one... but two bags of crisps. And with the crack of a can of red bull they were quickly disposed of by the chubby chubb chubber, she then treated the office to an afternoon of belches and announcements of what her stomach was doing.
This story wouldn't be complete however, without informing you that apparently Caroline has recently lost a lot of weight thanks to Dr G.Band, visitors regularly comment on "how great she looks" or "how much weight have you lost!" Unfortunately, the cynic in me can only think "Imagine if you didn't eat so much!"
Amy Ailments has also returned this week and not only has she been discussing her recent visits to the hospital, with staff and customers alike, she has started using common phrases that have been mentioned on here before - the most grating... confused.com. "For a second then I was so confused.com"
Why anyone uses this as part of a sentence is beyond me. For me, this is the epitome of bellcheesery.
Briefly mentioned earlier is the "chef", provided by an external company, the chef regularly informs us of what he will be cooking each day and asks how many people will be eating that day, more often than not, the meal actually changes throughout the day and by lunch time you are lucky if it resembles anything close to what was originally advertised.
However, it gets even better, if there are not many diners, the chef will actually close the kitchen and go home before lunchtime and then moans for the next few days that nobody uses the canteen.
There are also a few honorable mentions to add the original list...
Charlie the Clicker - Charlie is actually a decent lad, does his work without really making a song a dance about it which is a rarity in our office, however as the name suggest, he likes to click, and this takes many different forms, this includes using his pen and desk as a drum kit, simply clicking the top of his pen lid but the worst and most uncomfortable is the physical clicking of his fingers throughout the day, he doesn't do the hand flex and click them all at the same time, he clicks each individual finger with the next one always louder than the last.
Smokey Simon - Another relatively nice guy, however, the bloke smells like an ashtray, the mix of coffee and nicotine when in a confined office, for a non smoker it is up there with sewage works and farmyards. Whilst on the point of smoking, I have been tempted to take it up based on the fact that smokers seem to get an extra 20/30 minutes additional break per day.
Apologies for dragging this on! I may need my own subfolder
