Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

Register Log in

Do you WIPE standing up or sitting down?

Do you stand or sit when wiping your bottom?

  • Stand

    Votes: 71 46.1%

  • Sit

    Votes: 83 53.9%
  • Total voters
    154


sydney

sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,750
town full of eejits
jesus....no way i would stand up without at least 3 extensive attacks at the old chutney chute with a fist full of andrex......if i stood up to wipe it would result in a scene reminiscent of three large mole rats squabbling over a jar of nutella....kudos to you though guv for broaching this oh so private , sensitive and some may say taboo subject , particularly with a female of the species....:thumbsup:
 








symyjym

symyjym

Banned
Nov 2, 2009
13,138
Brighton / Hove actually
Bombadier Botty said:
Always stand to wipe the cheeks, this closes the anal sphincter, sucking back up any excess excrement hence less toilet paper needs using.

On other matters:

1. Always load the toilet roll on the holder so that the 'hanging strip' runs down against the wall rather than going over the top, this creates drag and thus less toilet paper is torn off each time.
2. Aitch not Haitch when pronouncing 'H'
3. Don't bother using the phrase 'to be honest' (it is utterly unnecessary)
Click to expand...

Why do you need to wipe your cheeks. Have you a splatter issue?

And surely closing the anal sphincter after you wiped is more efficient than relying on suction.
 


sydney

sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,750
town full of eejits
CHAPPERS said:
Half way up in a semi squat type position (half arsed?), if you must know. I would have also been caught out by this renegade flush. My missus wipes sat down, she says there's less chance of a squish/smear if this technique is used.
Click to expand...

id hate to be a lady , i mean i could handle giving birth i think , but having to wipe the cladge of yer ring without smearing it all over yer clout must be so tedious ......i mean once it's in there surely you have to wash it out with a hose or summat...??
 




G

GingerBeerMan

3-0
Dec 29, 2011
8,024
Goldstone1976 said:
Bored?

Ummm - no one stands, shirley? How can you possibly ensure that all solid material has in fact been excavated? Access is all important - that can only be achieved by spreading, which is, in turn, best accomplished by sitting.
Click to expand...

This is my favourite question of all time. The confusion from people when they hear someone else doesn't sit/stand is always there. I was the same when I first found out.
 








Prince Monolulu

Prince Monolulu

Everything in Moderation
Oct 2, 2013
10,201
The Race Hill
Sod that paper malarkey, can't beat the reassuring whoosh of a bidet.

tumblr_lfmivimGG81qaj6h8o1_500.gif
 


dingodan

dingodan

New member
Feb 16, 2011
10,080
Wiping is for assholes.
 






GOM

GOM

living vicariously
Aug 8, 2005
3,225
Leeds - but not the dirty bit
symyjym said:
You don't. You lean to the side and raise one butt cheek.

I didn't think an IQ was vital for the process.
Click to expand...

An IQ is useful for most things, however only a low one is necessary for the ability to be needlessly and pointlessly insulting.
 


Tom Hark Preston Park

Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
70,161
Frankly [MENTION=31]El Presidente[/MENTION] there can rarely have been a more clear-cut case for a mod to refer himself to his fellow mods for relegation to the (sorry) BOWELS of 'The Other Stuff'.
 


M

Munkfish

Well-known member
May 1, 2006
11,871
I stand.

I one had this chat with a group of friends, it was fairly split down the middle and come to the conclusion it depended on how we were taught as children. However we did have a couple of oddities:

1. One of the lads stood up, but took his trouser leg off put his leg up on the seat and wiped accordingly. which I can imagine takes a lot of time to undo and do up your trousers etc again, plus in public pissy toilets this is going to open up to a lot of dirty jeans etc.

2. And this was the more disturbing, one of our friends wipes his arse from back to the front, thus causing what we can only assume as really shit balls, we coined the phrase going Russian. He had always thought this is how you wiped you arse.

I have since tried wiping Russian after I thought my bumhole was clean, however there was a secret deposit of plop which I hadn't reached. So now I always makes sure I go Russian on one final wipe just to check.

anyway there you go.
 




El Presidente

El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,707
Pattknull med Haksprut
Tom Hark said:
Frankly [MENTION=31]El Presidente[/MENTION] there can rarely have been a more clear-cut case for a mod to refer himself to his fellow mods for relegation to the (sorry) BOWELS of 'The Other Stuff'.
Click to expand...

I disagree THPP, frankly I'm fed up of the EU dictating to me how I should wipe my bottom, and the people need to stand up (or sit down) and be counted.
 






dingodan

dingodan

New member
Feb 16, 2011
10,080
Wow, look at those poll results!

Remind me never to touch any of your arses!
 








You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here