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[Other Sport] Swimming pool annoying things





Live by the sea

Well-known member
Oct 21, 2016
4,718
If you like swimming a lot. It's good exercise too. Need a heated pool or a double glazed cover as our weather most of the year isn't great. An Indoor pool is the ultimate but you need the space about 50 ft.by 25 ft to Install a modest one and a budget of around £150k so out my league !
 




Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,281
The problem with this stuff is it's all relative..

Whilst I remember, years ago, I swam at a pool that had guideline times for Fast /Medium / Slow lanes. The guideline for the Fast lane was 1 min 30 seconds per hundred metres and anything less was a suggestion to try the medium lane. Whilst the obvious problem was that people were clueless what they swam, it did encourage people to time their swims which in turn encourages people to get better if you continuingly keep an eye on the clock. Also, lifeguards were pretty good at shifting people between lanes and a harmonious time was had by all. Well, most of the time.

Unfortunately, most pools now are run by pool management companies which have been tended to the lowest bidder and are consequently as clueless as I am at choosing a handbag for the wife. The days of giving people advice and guidance of where they should swim are gone and we all suffer as a result. Naturally, the pool management company at my local are trying to up the price for our Sunday morning over 30's session for a service which has got worse. Brilliant.
 


sussex_guy2k2

Well-known member
Jun 6, 2014
3,678
Whilst I remember, years ago, I swam at a pool that had guideline times for Fast /Medium / Slow lanes. The guideline for the Fast lane was 1 min 30 seconds per hundred metres and anything less was a suggestion to try the medium lane. Whilst the obvious problem was that people were clueless what they swam, it did encourage people to time their swims which in turn encourages people to get better if you continuingly keep an eye on the clock. Also, lifeguards were pretty good at shifting people between lanes and a harmonious time was had by all. Well, most of the time.

Unfortunately, most pools now are run by pool management companies which have been tended to the lowest bidder and are consequently as clueless as I am at choosing a handbag for the wife. The days of giving people advice and guidance of where they should swim are gone and we all suffer as a result. Naturally, the pool management company at my local are trying to up the price for our Sunday morning over 30's session for a service which has got worse. Brilliant.

They’re all logical statements. I guess I’ve never actually come across a pool that’s managed in the way you suggest, so maybe my pool lane standards aren’t quite as high!
 




BN9 BHA

DOCKERS
NSC Patreon
Jul 14, 2013
21,449
Newhaven
Men who wear beach shorts with paper tissues in the pockets, which find their way into the pool water. Buy trunks you halfwits, you'll swim quicker too.
.

Or just don't put paper tissues in the pockets of shorts. ???

I wear shorts for swimming but these shorts are only for swimming, I wash them when I get home from the pool. I wouldn't put tissues in the pockets.
 


BN9 BHA

DOCKERS
NSC Patreon
Jul 14, 2013
21,449
Newhaven
To me Y-fronts are underpants, Speedo (other makes are available) sell several styles of suitable pool wear, ranging from Budgie smugglers to modern training gear with quite long legs. I object to shorts which are not tight on the leg and have pockets. What is worn in the pool should not be something you would normally wear in the street. French lifeguards are very strict on this.

Who made you the swimming shorts police? :rolleyes:
 


Skaville

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
10,098
Queens Park
There is so much I hate about swimming pools, I have no idea where to start :

- Anyone doing Breast Stroke in the fast lane should be hung, very slowly, with Piano Wire unless their name is Adam Peat.

You see, I understand your point but it’s the fast lane, not the crawl lane. I do a breast stroke length in around 27 seconds on average. I tend to find that there are plenty of people doing crawl at Prince Regent in the fast lane slower than that, plus i’ll do that consistently for 40 lengths. None of this stop start bollocks. So, sometimes, when the fast lane is quiet or bereft of actual fast swimmers i’ll move across.
 




Skaville

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
10,098
Queens Park
In most Australian pools lanes are divided properly. Including the clear message of what lanes you cannot do breaststroke in. Which is nice for someone like me who is a relatively fast breaststroker but proper terrible at front crawl. Though virtually the whole pool will be divided in Aussie pools, as they have understood that floating around doing **** all is pointless.

Swimming in Oz is FAR better. The lifeguards actuallly police the lanes rather than sit on their high chairs twirling their pubic hair
 


Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,281
You see, I understand your point but it’s the fast lane, not the crawl lane. I do a breast stroke length in around 27 seconds on average. I tend to find that there are plenty of people doing crawl at Prince Regent in the fast lane slower than that, plus i’ll do that consistently for 40 lengths. None of this stop start bollocks. So, sometimes, when the fast lane is quiet or bereft of actual fast swimmers i’ll move across.

Is the Prince Regent still 33 metres? I haven't been there for about 30 years. If it is you are doing about 1 min 21 seconds for 1 hundred metres which is seriously quick.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,331
Faversham
I try to go swimming when I can down my local pool.

One thing that infuriates me is when you're swimming lengths and you're just about to
turn and someone who's been waiting at the same end for ages and is a lot slower than you
suddenly decides to push off in front of you. The other thing is the "coffee table" - two people chatting
side by side when there no room to do it.

Am I being an over-reactive twonk, need to get out more or am I not alone on this?

Two words that sum up swimming pools for me: Chlorine and urine. Give me the sea any time.
 






Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,331
Faversham
That reminds me of another thing, a few older larger men wearing white almost see through swimming trunks.

They know what they are doing.

Also in prince regent once the person in the urinal next to me started masturbating and I had to report him.

So horny older blocks in swimming pools are also the worst things about them.

Christ :eek:
 


Skaville

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
10,098
Queens Park
Is the Prince Regent still 33 metres? I haven't been there for about 30 years. If it is you are doing about 1 min 21 seconds for 1 hundred metres which is seriously quick.

Nope. It’s 25 metres. Like I said, i’ll only move across if I know I can keep pace and why shouldn’t I?! It’s just as frustrating being a relatively fast swimmer in the medium lane which is normally even busier than the fast lane.

By the way, anyone doing the aspire channel swim? 12 week’s to swim 22 miles?
 




Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,331
Faversham
You prefer turds?

Yes, yes that's what I meant. Crisp packets, oil slicks and dead mermaids, too. So disappointed I found none of these at this place yesterday....

beach.jpg
 






Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,281
Nope. It’s 25 metres. Like I said, i’ll only move across if I know I can keep pace and why shouldn’t I?! It’s just as frustrating being a relatively fast swimmer in the medium lane which is normally even busier than the fast lane.

By the way, anyone doing the aspire channel swim? 12 week’s to swim 22 miles?

1 48 isn't too shabby for a 100 either.

My big issue is with those who have no concept of other swimmers or their relative pace to those around them or lifeguards who watch it all unfold and wonder why everyone is getting the hump. Give me a fast breastroker who stops at the end versus a slow crawler who carries on regardless any day of the week.

Anyway, I'm going for a swim. Hopefully I won't get lane rage and drown anyone.
 




Dick Head

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Jan 3, 2010
13,612
Quaxxann
1 48 isn't too shabby for a 100 either.

My big issue is with those who have no concept of other swimmers or their relative pace to those around them or lifeguards who watch it all unfold and wonder why everyone is getting the hump. Give me a fast breastroker who stops at the end versus a slow crawler who carries on regardless any day of the week.


Anyway, I'm going for a swim. Hopefully I won't get lane rage and drown anyone.

You might need one of these.

1150598623_8ebf4b060d_z.jpg
 





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