Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Favourite phrases about football
- Thread starter Garry Nelson's teacher
- Start date
Seasider78
Well-known member
- Nov 14, 2004
- 5,937
Also heard used in football to describe the area between the defender and the keeper for crosses here is a guide for the different areas!
Mr Bridger
Sound of the suburbs
Takes me back to playing football and never ever forget what was said by a rather trampy player who used to play centre half for us during a half time team talk. Also enhanced by the fact that he had a lisp he was referring to one of their players who was running the show, he barked " stick to him like a can of soup". WTF
Hampster Gull
New member
- Dec 22, 2010
- 13,462
Itchy chin
With the optional rejoinder, "Yes, like a ****ing tin of salmon".
Or "great jump, could have got a rizla under his boots".
Or my Dad's favourite, applied to an inept header of a ball...."a head like a shoebox"
There are many.
The Brighton Buzz
Falmer here we come
- Jan 31, 2008
- 1,277
Couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo.
rocker959
Well-known member
It only takes a second to score a goal - Brian Clough
Lindfield by the Pond
Well-known member
Let's flush this toilet and go home........
Can't remember the precise words, but the sentiment has stuck with me. It was the journalist who said about the play-off second leg with Wednesday that the referee hadn't so much blown the whistle to kick off as fired a starting gun - in reference to how we begun the game.
Baldseagull
Well-known member
"Jigsaw" for a player who goes to pieces in the box.
"He's laid on more balls than Joan Collins"
Ally McCoist commentary "That (shot) was high, wide and not so very handsome"
The nickname "one size" for the player Fitz Hall, which he apparently hated.
"He's laid on more balls than Joan Collins"
Ally McCoist commentary "That (shot) was high, wide and not so very handsome"
The nickname "one size" for the player Fitz Hall, which he apparently hated.
Johnny RoastBeef
These aren't the players you're looking for.
- Jan 11, 2016
- 3,157
Don't rub 'em, count 'em.
He's got the touch of a rapist.
He's got a head like a threepenny bit.
He's got the touch of a rapist.
He's got a head like a threepenny bit.
The big lad with the clumsy ball control - 'First touch' of the Yorkshire ripper
Although this thread mostly reminds me of some of the old man's finest expressions:
You'll get a clip round the ear 'ole
You'll get a thick ear
You'll get a clip along side
Don't come the old acid
and his coup de grass
You don't know poop from clay!
Ah, the 1970s...
Although this thread mostly reminds me of some of the old man's finest expressions:
You'll get a clip round the ear 'ole
You'll get a thick ear
You'll get a clip along side
Don't come the old acid
and his coup de grass
You don't know poop from clay!
Ah, the 1970s...
Baldseagull
Well-known member
Your mispelling of coup de grace, helped bring to my mind the image of you trying to fashion an ashtray from a turd you found on the lawn.
Did I do that? It is more than possible.
However, I may have posted a story about getting hauled before a disciplinary panel for sending an email to somone that concluded 'you can't polish a turd'. I got off, and sadly not because you can, in fact, polish a turd. But you have to freeze the little fella first. Perhaps its this you're recalling?
EDIT, oh, poop de grass... geddit now. Anyway, moving on....
Last edited:
Garry Nelson's teacher
Well-known member
- Thread starter
- #36
This isn't quite the on the same lines but I think it needs to be recorded for the purposes of history. This was many years ago and I remember it for word for word. Peter Withe was the 'expert' summariser and he came out with this masterpiece:
"Sometimes the inevitable does happen and when it does it comes as a shock to everyone."
Even now I can have sleepless nights trying to grasp the full profundity of this as it transcends mere football.
"Sometimes the inevitable does happen and when it does it comes as a shock to everyone."
Even now I can have sleepless nights trying to grasp the full profundity of this as it transcends mere football.
Garry Nelson's teacher
Well-known member
- Thread starter
- #37
On a goalie (possibly John Jackson of Palace) who was rather large/slow:
"He goes down in instalments."
"He goes down in instalments."
Raleigh Chopper
New member
"I have never commented about the performance of a referee after a match, and I am not going to change the habit of a lifetime for that prat".
Big Ron Atkinson.
Big Ron Atkinson.
"They're the better side on paper, but it's not played on paper it's played on grass".
Years ago I remember a non-league (or lower league) manager being interviewed about a Cup tie with a first division team. He said (after coming out with something like the cliche above): "They're men the same as us, we've all got two arms and two heads."
Years ago I remember a non-league (or lower league) manager being interviewed about a Cup tie with a first division team. He said (after coming out with something like the cliche above): "They're men the same as us, we've all got two arms and two heads."
Garry Nelson's teacher
Well-known member
- Thread starter
- #40
'He couldn't trap a bag of cement' - Brian Clough (on buying Gary Megson and then having second thoughts)
If we are going back to the Greats of Management then there's the all-time legendary Bill Shankly one:
"Football is not a matter a life and death - in fact it doesn't matter very much at all." (I think I've got it right?)