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Etiquette question



Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,323
Uffern
I was in Japan a few weeks ago and forgot to tell my bank. When I tried to get money out at Tokyo airport, my account was blocked, and I couldn't get any cash for the train into town. Fortunately, I'd been sitting next to someone going to the same hotel and he paid my £3 fare for me. I looked to pay him back (once I'd told the bank where I was) but I didn't see him again.

We've just hooked up on social media and I'm debating what to do: should I offer to pay the money back? Offer to give to charity? Forget about it? It's such a low amount, would he feel insulted if I mention it?

I'll be guided by the wisdom of NSC?
 


skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
Send him a small gift as a thank you.
 




Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Apr 30, 2013
13,765
Herts
Offer to pay it back. Any mild shock he feels (if any) at your offer should be outweighed by pleasure that he's met an honourable person who remembers his debts. If he declines, accept the gift with good grace.

In addition - do as @el punal suggests!
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
59,198
The Fatherland
Asking for his home address and or bank details to send a repayment or gift might feel a little uncomfortable. I'd send a brief message to offer to repay but also give the donation to charity option. This puts the ball in his court if he wants to offer up his personal details.
 




Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
Offer a quick hand job. Any awkwardness about the cash should pale into insignificance.
 


drew

Drew
Oct 3, 2006
23,007
Burgess Hill
Surely it's obvious that you need to offer and ask him whether he wants the money sent or transferred online. If he is the sort of person who will lend a stranger money then it's likely his response will be to say something along the lines of 'thanks for the offer but don't worry'. You can then make a contribution of, say, £10 to a charity and let him know you did it because of his generosity.
 






Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,323
Uffern
Surely it's obvious that you need to offer and ask him whether he wants the money sent or transferred online. If he is the sort of person who will lend a stranger money then it's likely his response will be to say something along the lines of 'thanks for the offer but don't worry'. You can then make a contribution of, say, £10 to a charity and let him know you did it because of his generosity.

That's what I was going to do before I asked people. I was just concerned that he might feel insulted. I do like the idea of sending a small gift but I'd have to send it to his home address which means asking for it or looking it up (I'm certain I could find it, he's a Pole so he's not got a common name and I know what town he lives in - but it would make me look like a stalker)
 


severnside gull

Well-known member
May 16, 2007
24,540
By the seaside in West Somerset
Offer to pay it back. Any mild shock he feels (if any) at your offer should be outweighed by pleasure that he's met an honourable person who remembers his debts. If he declines, accept the gift with good grace.

In addition - do as @el punal suggests!

I'd go with that and if he says no pop £3 in a charity box and let him know :thumbsup:
 


Igzilla

Well-known member
Sep 27, 2012
1,641
Worthing
Maybe in the charity offer, ask him if he has any personal preference?
 




Peteinblack

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jun 3, 2004
3,583
Bath, Somerset.
Offer a quick hand job. Any awkwardness about the cash should pale into insignificance.

I do love a story with a happy ending :blush:
 


Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,323
Uffern
Maybe in the charity offer, ask him if he has any personal preference?

I thought of that but what if it's something I didn't like. He could be a rabid Catholic and want money given to a religious charity.

Or to the Crystal Palace youth development fund.
 


JBenno

New member
Jun 29, 2011
429
Upper Beeding
I thought of that but what if it's something I didn't like. He could be a rabid Catholic and want money given to a religious charity.

Or to the Crystal Palace youth development fund.

If that turns out to be the case then just pay back the debt at 1p for every £1.....
 








Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,323
Uffern
Thanks for all your advice (well, except Nibble :lolol: ) You may be interested to know that he told me to forget it but give to charity if I wished
 


Wellesley

Well-known member
Jul 24, 2013
4,973
Easy, just blank him and you're three quid up.:O





Edit: **** it, too late.
 









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