[Misc] DadsNet: helping your kids deal with little shits

Baldseagull said:

I think your position of non violence is extreme, at some point you have to hit back.

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Fair enough. But there is a professional context behind why I think that in that I have seen the consequences of children who are taught that violence is okay. The results are never positive.

And as replied to the specific poster earlier - where is the line? How does a child know where the line is? What happens if the bully escalates the situation (and believe me, more often than not they do!)? What do you specifically class as bullying? At what point does a child being a bit mean (and don't be confused, ALL children are mean) become bullying and therefore justify violence?

dadams2k11 said:

Don't care what you think and i will continue to parent how i see fit. From most of the reply's on this thread, people agree with me, not you. IF anyone hits my kids they hit them back, if they are the first to hit, they will be punished and to make it clear, I WOULD NOT BEAT MY KIDS - It was a JOKE. Have you ever heard the saying "i going to kill my kids"? DO you think that means people will actually kill their kids? NO! Its a saying and most normal people would understand that and take it for what it is. Only you have raised this point so it says more about you and how you interpret things then my jokes.

By the way, what do you think the Police will do if someone hit you? What happens if its more of a hit and more of a kick in? You just going to curl up in a ball on the floor or would you try and defend your self?

Think you need to lighten up as this is an argument you will not win.

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Have you ever met a parent that beats their kids? I'd imagine you haven't because your attitude is so blase on this matter it's a bit sickening. But I have. I've met a fair number of them. It always starts with a joke, until you realise it's actually happening. And what's clear about this conversation is that you don't appreciate your sh*tty behaviour being pulled up - well I don't care. Beating children up isn't funny and isn't the type of thing decent people joke about on message boards and you deserve to be pulled up on it. Just because other people think joking about beating children and promoting violence is okay, that doesn't mean you've won an argument. It just means there are other people out there like you with your questionable moral compass.

But I'm glad you wouldn't hit your kids. I'm glad it's just fun and games for you. For many kids out there it isn't a laughing matter.

As for your awful police argument, we're talking about a whole new set of circumstances, rather than the bullying at a school example that this thread is about. Consequently, how I react as an adult is neither here nor there. Nonetheless, I can't say I've ever been hit by another adult because most adults know it's not appropriate just to go around hitting random people! However, if a group of random adults started giving me a "kick in", whatever that is, I don't imagine I'd stand much of a chance of defending myself, let alone identifying them. But this scenario that you're trying to describe to justify your awful argument is irrelevant because in all school bullying situations, you're going to know the person doing it and you're going to be able to identify them to the appropriate people who should take action!

sussex_guy2k2 said:

Have you ever met a parent that beats their kids? I'd imagine you haven't because your attitude is so blase on this matter it's a bit sickening. But I have. I've met a fair number of them. It always starts with a joke, until you realise it's actually happening. And what's clear about this conversation is that you don't appreciate your sh*tty behaviour being pulled up - well I don't care. Beating children up isn't funny and isn't the type of thing decent people joke about on message boards and you deserve to be pulled up on it. Just because other people think joking about beating children and promoting violence is okay, that doesn't mean you've won an argument. It just means there are other people out there like you with your questionable moral compass.

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What the **** as this got to do with the thread? "your attitude is so blase on this matter it's a bit sickening" Who the **** are you to tell me what my attitude is and what i should think? You are a condescending prick. Look at what i have put in bold. You've not pulled me up, you have just been derailing the thread with your "child beating stance" missing the point of the thread. Promote Violence, do me a favour Granddad. Bet you are a right laugh at parties.

But I'm glad you wouldn't hit your kids. I'm glad it's just fun and games for you. For many kids out there it isn't a laughing matter.

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Your changing the argument to suit your agenda. This is about kids being bullied not parents beating their kids!!

As for your awful police argument, we're talking about a whole new set of circumstances, rather than the bullying at a school example that this thread is about. Consequently, how I react as an adult is neither here nor there. Nonetheless, I can't say I've ever been hit by another adult because most adults know it's not appropriate just to go around hitting random people! However, if a group of random adults started giving me a "kick in", whatever that is, I don't imagine I'd stand much of a chance of defending myself, let alone identifying them. But this scenario that you're trying to describe to justify your awful argument is irrelevant because in all school bullying situations, you're going to know the person doing it and you're going to be able to identify them to the appropriate people who should take action!

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Ah, change the argument again to suit your agenda. Back on to Kids being bullied, not kids being beaten by parents.

You are going around in circles, you're turning this into your experience of kids being beaten by their parents when it about kids being bullied. Go and have a afternoon snooze or go out for a walk as your coming across as a complete Bell End.

I will continue to tell my kids to defend themselves (promote violence?) and wont be taking any advise from an ex teacher like you. Thanks.

dadams2k11 said:

This was 4 years ago and yes I am teaching my 6 year old that if someone at school hits him then to tell the teachers but out of school, if someone hits him then hit them back.

Tbf he is tall and stocky for his age and does boxing so I don't think he will be a target for bullies.

My Two daughters are taught the same, in school report it, out school hit them back.

If I ever found out that any of my kids were bulling anyone I would kick the shit out of them myself (jokes). They would be made to go around that persons house and apologize to the kid and the parents..

Like I say people may agree and people may disagree but in this world if you let bullies get away with it, they will keep doing it.

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Not necessarily disagreeing with your post, but I don't believe that the 'punch a bully theory' can always work in practice.

What happens if the bully is the size of your son with trained fighting skills? What happens if it's out of school and the bully is carrying a blade (increasingly common now)? What happens if the bullied victim is a sadly lonely, whilst the bullies are a group, outnumbering him?

I not against the idea of the bully getting a taste of his or her medicine, but in practice it will often not work out.

Weststander said:

Not necessarily disagreeing with your post, but I don't believe that the 'punch a bully theory' can always work in practice.

What happens if the bully is the size of your son with trained fighting skills? What happens if it's out of school and the bully is carrying a blade (increasingly common now)? What happens if the bullied victim is a sadly lonely, whilst the bullies are a group, outnumbering him?

I not against the idea of the bully getting a taste of his or her medicine, but in practice it will often not work out.

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Precisely this.
It isn't always like the movies where the victim comes out on top. Leave it to the professionals to deal with.