Mr Bridger
Sound of the suburbs
Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat,
Eventually you get p!ssed off.
Eventually you get p!ssed off.
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Which part of the toilet do you aim for?
- Thread starter Giraffe
- Start date
Mr Bridger
Sound of the suburbs
This, but mines a gypsy's kiss and Eartha Kitt, or just recently Mrs Browns boys.
Worthingite
Sexy Pete... :D
I'm a shy tinkler, so I pop a bit of loo roll in the pan, then aim for that.
Or a luxury sit down wee.
Or a luxury sit down wee.
As [MENTION=5200]Buzzer[/MENTION] started the day with a glimpse of some of the useless 'knowledge' cluttering up his head, here's something from mine:-
When in Schiphol airport I always aim for the fly.
The picture of a fly in the urinals at Schiphol Airport has been touted as a simple, inexpensive way to reduce cleaning costs. Where does it come from, and how effective is it really?
There’s something of a surprise waiting at the bottom of the urinals in Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport: an etched image of a fly.
At first glance, one might be forgiven for thinking it real. Then one notices that all the urinals have one, and the fly is always in the same position, just above the urinal drain and off to the left.
It turns out that men, in their urinal behaviour, cannot resist peeing on things, especially if they look as though they might wash away.
https://worksthatwork.com/1/urinal-fly
When in Schiphol airport I always aim for the fly.
The picture of a fly in the urinals at Schiphol Airport has been touted as a simple, inexpensive way to reduce cleaning costs. Where does it come from, and how effective is it really?
There’s something of a surprise waiting at the bottom of the urinals in Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport: an etched image of a fly.
At first glance, one might be forgiven for thinking it real. Then one notices that all the urinals have one, and the fly is always in the same position, just above the urinal drain and off to the left.
It turns out that men, in their urinal behaviour, cannot resist peeing on things, especially if they look as though they might wash away.
https://worksthatwork.com/1/urinal-fly
el punal
Well-known member
Have you ever, ever, tried to hit the bullseye on a Southern train toilet three hours after a Saturday home win. This, after drinking copious amounts of assorted alcohol throughout the day. Then the X-factor comes into play as your release valve is set to empty, the train goes over some points, or speeds up, or brakes suddenly, - pandemonium in the penis department. Your willy becomes a whirligig as you hit everything but the pan. The floor looks the aftermath of a golden showers porn movie.
And, as you exit the cubicle, innocently tell all around you that the person before you left the bog in a dreadful state.
And, as you exit the cubicle, innocently tell all around you that the person before you left the bog in a dreadful state.
junior
Well-known member
I sit down. I have a hygiene obsession and it's the only way to guarantee no spray finds it's way outside the bowl.
pearl
Well-known member
ManOfSussex
We wunt be druv
Have you ever, ever, tried to hit the bullseye on a Southern train toilet three hours after a Saturday home win. This, after drinking copious amounts of assorted alcohol throughout the day. Then the X-factor comes into play as your release valve is set to empty, the train goes over some points, or speeds up, or brakes suddenly, - pandemonium in the penis department. Your willy becomes a whirligig as you hit everything but the pan. The floor looks the aftermath of a golden showers porn movie.
And, as you exit the cubicle, innocently tell all around you that the person before you left the bog in a dreadful state.
Happens many a time to me on a train back to Hastings from The Amex. Generally always happens after leaving Eastbourne though.
ManOfSussex
We wunt be druv
After a urination disaster about 10 years ago after excess alcohol (frankly if it'd caused a leak in the flat below, I wouldn't have been surprised) I must admit I quite often play it safe after drinking - real safe - and just have one in the sink. I'm the only one who uses that sink, it's at a perfect height, it's cleaned thoroughly on a regular basis and washed down afterwards on each occasion with hot water and antibacterial soap, so what's the harm?
If you're going to drink, then think sink, is my motto.
If you're going to drink, then think sink, is my motto.
JamesAndTheGiantHead
Well-known member
I sing 'Take my poo awaaayyyy' to the tune of 'Take my breath away'.
Jim Van Winkle
Well-known member
Judging by some of the animals I work with, the floor, should be a option.
el punal
Well-known member
Brighton to Southampton train for me. Take your pick from the 18.30, the 19.30 or the 20.30 trains. The 20.30 in particular is the Gusher Special. I do try to hold it in until after Worthing when the train is less crowded.
ManOfSussex
We wunt be druv
Brighton to Southampton train for me. Take your pick from the 18.30, the 19.30 or the 20.30 trains. The 20.30 in particular is the Gusher Special. I do try to hold it in until after Worthing when the train is less crowded.
Likewise for me and it being why I try and wait until after Eastbourne. I quite often change at either Lewes or Eastbourne too and have a pint and I can't be wasting valuable drinking time between trains using a toilet in a pub either.
LamieRobertson
Not awoke
Traffic must be slow if a mod has to start a thread like this ....anyway the garden
Meade's Ball
Well-known member
The back of the bowl during waking hours, and a general spray to anywhere in or near it between the hours of 1am-4am. Many a morning's first slash-visit are spent wiping little yellow ponds here and there.
I was going to say "interestingly", but it isn't. But when staying at the girlfriend's place in Spain, a house full of women, I daren't make a plop noise, or smell. So, each toilet visit I make has me in a twisty position, flushing immediately when the stool has perhaps only just half pushed through its thick paper bedding. I also have the window open, and the tap on full blast. I spray a pleasant scent into the toilet straight away, and then speedily wipe with a frenzy, before flush and spray 2. I then stay in the room for about 5 minutes, allowing the ajar window to do its job, whilst I probably breathe in a number of poo germs myself. Hard work having a shit in Orense, I have to say.
I was going to say "interestingly", but it isn't. But when staying at the girlfriend's place in Spain, a house full of women, I daren't make a plop noise, or smell. So, each toilet visit I make has me in a twisty position, flushing immediately when the stool has perhaps only just half pushed through its thick paper bedding. I also have the window open, and the tap on full blast. I spray a pleasant scent into the toilet straight away, and then speedily wipe with a frenzy, before flush and spray 2. I then stay in the room for about 5 minutes, allowing the ajar window to do its job, whilst I probably breathe in a number of poo germs myself. Hard work having a shit in Orense, I have to say.
Raleigh Chopper
New member
Trelford Mills Guide Dog
Active member
- Jun 14, 2008
- 572
I try and dislodge the skid marks deposited by my son following him releasing a brown trout back to the wild
Megazone
On his last warning
It's the number 2's where my accuracy falls short.
spongy
Well-known member
I'm one of those that still has a foreskin so I aim at the back at 12 o clock and see what happens.
Usually involves a quick adjustment to keep it on track. A slight pull back can usually sort it though.
I must admit at home I sit down for a luxury piss as the seat is always down and on days like today wearing loose shorts it's easier to just whip em down and sit down negating any need for aim.
Usually involves a quick adjustment to keep it on track. A slight pull back can usually sort it though.
I must admit at home I sit down for a luxury piss as the seat is always down and on days like today wearing loose shorts it's easier to just whip em down and sit down negating any need for aim.