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Bell Cheeses at work



Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patreon
May 8, 2007
12,751
Toronto
Surely that is just a diet as she is fat so a lifestyle change ?

Ergo why sponsor someone who should not be fat anyway

I would add in one of our other offices an extremely fat woman had her desk moved nearer to the toilets as she got out of breath walking there from her other desk

FFS burn less calories, why not ?

That's a tremendous effort. I bet they came and did some kind of bullshit workplace assessment for her, concluding that it was against her HUMAN RIGHTS to have to walk so far to take a dump.

I'm putting money on her new desk also being nearer the KITCHEN.
 


Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,202
In the field
That's a tremendous effort. I bet they came and did some kind of bullshit workplace assessment for her, concluding that it was against her HUMAN RIGHTS to have to walk so far to take a dump.

I'm putting money on her new desk also being nearer the KITCHEN.

I bet she’s got a special chair too, which she spends most of the day adjusting and the remaining part tippexing her name on the back of it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 




Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
Anyone already been ordered or co-opted into the dreaded 'Secret Santa' fiasco ? Been told to buy something for £10 any ideas?

A pad of paper, some pens, and "f@ck off" written on every sheet.
 






Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patreon
May 8, 2007
12,751
Toronto
Anyone already been ordered or co-opted into the dreaded 'Secret Santa' fiasco ? Been told to buy something for £10 any ideas?

One of these

b414_front__.jpg
 


dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Mar 27, 2013
52,028
Burgess Hill
Anyone already been ordered or co-opted into the dreaded 'Secret Santa' fiasco ? Been told to buy something for £10 any ideas?

Well I was involved in an investigation a while back after the boss of the team opened his Secret Santa present only to find a mug with a photo of him on it, with ‘I am a c***’ beautifully written below. ‘Santa’ was quickly uncovered, and equally quickly fired.


I know it's been a THING for many years, but I'm starting to get seriously annoyed with all of the inane fundraising that goes on in our office. I got into an argument with a colleague the other day because I was refusing to sponsor one of the ladies in the office who was going to be giving up biscuits, cakes and chocolate for a WHOLE MONTH.

I'm not chucking any money at Fat Mandy from Accounts for having the gargantuan strength to not wolf down an entire tube of Jaffa Cakes every 30 seconds. Mental.

Reminds me of this.......

https://youtu.be/rMfZyFzCsp0

On the wider sponsorship thing, one word. Movember. No, I am not fecking paying you for not being arsed to bother shaving.
 


Brian Fantana

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2006
7,202
In the field
Well I was involved in an investigation a while back after the boss of the team opened his Secret Santa present only to find a mug with a photo of him on it, with ‘I am a c***’ beautifully written below. ‘Santa’ was quickly uncovered, and equally quickly fired.




Reminds me of this.......

https://youtu.be/rMfZyFzCsp0

On the wider sponsorship thing, one word. Movember. No, I am not fecking paying you for not being arsed to bother shaving.

Dry January being another irritating one.


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Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
How on earth can anyone organise an office Christmas lunch for 4th December? Its nowhere near Christmas.
 


Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,281
Anyone already been ordered or co-opted into the dreaded 'Secret Santa' fiasco ? Been told to buy something for £10 any ideas?

I've been fortunate with secret santa. I drew a mucky cow and bought her 'Cock Trumps' a few years back. Seemed to go down well. Last year I bought my mate the viz mug with 'I work with a right bunch of twats' on it. Pride of place on his desk.
 


South Stand Bonfire

Who lit that match then?
NSC Patreon
Jan 24, 2009
2,182
Shoreham-a-la-mer
Surely that is just a diet as she is fat so a lifestyle change ?

Ergo why sponsor someone who should not be fat anyway

I would add in one of our other offices an extremely fat woman had her desk moved nearer to the toilets as she got out of breath walking there from her other desk

FFS burn less calories, why not ?

That's not a very nice thing to say. Especially as you work at home.
 






Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,347
Faversham
If I could ONLY shar the bizarre exchangs with my HoD today, but sadly I can't leave any content-rich internet trail here or it may prejudice the court case later. Suffice to say, the shortfall in insight, command of the English language, ability to proofread, ability to grasp a basic idea of record keeping and communication, and the basic ability to not be a gold plated ubercuntwomble is so beyond some people it is a mystery, a ****ing mystery, that they can get any job of any description, and how they become elevated to HoD in a top six UK university is a testament to the depth of stupidtitty of the utter braindead zombies who decided it would be a cracking idea to appoint said person to a position of responsibility. Arnold J Rimmer would score better on every metric. I metaphorically blow out my precious and lovely brains.
 


GreersElbow

New member
Jan 5, 2012
4,870
A Northern Outpost
Whilst I feel your pain .....................

"Risk Management Strategy"

I mean really .

Dodgy ground on this thread
Job spec describes it.

My thoughts exactly. He's not covered himself in glory there.

Also "I run day to day liquidity requirements" :nono:
Missed out a key sentence in that as I was typing on my iPhone but okay.
I just assumed he was the teaboy.

You were late to the joke.
 














Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Jul 23, 2003
33,822
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
The sodding Christmas Trees are up on our floor. BOTH of them.


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happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
7,935
Eastbourne
The sodding Christmas Trees are up on our floor. BOTH of them.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm willing to bet some middle-aged, chubby shirker spent all day doing them. That used to happen when I worked in an office. Because we "hot-desk", the whole office would be decorated with the exception of the 6 desks for the 24 hour team which remained steadfastly bare all year. Someone did once put some decorations on them but one of the night shift put them in the bin.
 



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