Joke du soir ( Evening Joke, maybe.)

grubbyhands

Well-known member

Dec 8, 2011

2,285

Godalming

• Mar 24, 2015

• #21

skipper734 said:

Oh dear, you appear to have found your way to the wrong forum. Ask your Mum to help you if your having trouble.

Click to expand...

He,he,he 180

 

H

horshamite

Now Saltdeanite.

Nov 16, 2010

468

• Mar 24, 2015

• #22

I did have my prostate examined by the doc on monday last week. On friday a letter arrived from the surgery saying that my asthma review appointment had been cancelled owing to the doctor having already carried out the review!

 

S

Soulman

New member

Oct 22, 2012

10,966

Sompting

• Mar 24, 2015

• #23

horshamite said:

I did have my prostate examined by the doc on monday last week. On friday a letter arrived from the surgery saying that my asthma review appointment had been cancelled owing to the doctor having already carried out the review!

Click to expand...

 

E

essbee

New member

Jan 5, 2005

3,656

• Mar 24, 2015

• #24

skipper734 said:

Oh dear, you appear to have found your way to the wrong forum. Ask your Mum to help you if your having trouble.

Click to expand...

I suggest you get a sense of f****** humour

 

E

essbee

New member

Jan 5, 2005

3,656

• Mar 24, 2015

• #25

Hugh'sDad said:

......how very gracious, I think I would just have told him to f#ck off.

Click to expand...

You're a funny person.

 

goldstone68

New member

Aug 31, 2014

473

darkside

• Mar 25, 2015

• #26

skipper734 said:

Thanks Goldstone It's not actually me, I'm only 68. My own prostate story is far more amusing, but I'm not telling it.

Click to expand...

Oh go on please do, I could do with a good laugh.

 

Iamapen15

New member

May 17, 2009

1,285

Back of the North Stand

• Mar 25, 2015

• #27

Why was the cheese board lopsided?
...Because it only had one Stilton

Sorry...

 

R

Raleigh Chopper

New member

Sep 1, 2011

12,054

Plymouth

• Mar 25, 2015

• #28

A dentist from Hinkley today won the prestigious title of dental surgeon of the year, but all he got for it was a little plaque.

 

T

TomandJerry

Well-known member

Oct 1, 2013

11,493

• Mar 25, 2015

• #29

"Doctor doctor I have 30 seconds to live!"

"Go wait over there for a minute"

 

R

Raleigh Chopper

New member

Sep 1, 2011

12,054

Plymouth

• Mar 25, 2015

• #30

What did the inflatable teacher say to the inflatable schoolboy at the inflatable school?

"Not only have you let me down, and yourself down, but you have let the entire school down"

 

goldstone68

New member

Aug 31, 2014

473

darkside

• Mar 25, 2015

• #31

Doctor - "I'm afraid Mr Smith I have some good news and some bad news"
Smith - "Give us the bad news first Doc"
Doctor - "Well we have had to amputate both legs"
Smith - "Bloody hell whats the good news ffs"
Doctor - "You see that stunning blonde nurse over by the door, with the long legs"
Smith - "Yes"
Doctor - "Well I'm taking her out tonight"

 

B

Bolton va va

Active member

Nov 20, 2012

374

• Mar 25, 2015

• #32

Hugh'sDad said:

The really worrying thing during the probe should have been that he had both hands on your shoulders

Click to expand...

Yes...I probably should have spotted the danger signs earlier on when the doctor said to me, " Take your trousers and shorts off........you can put them next to mine ".

 

J

jimbob5

Banned

Sep 18, 2014

2,697

• Mar 26, 2015

• #33

goldstone68 said:

Doctor - "I'm afraid Mr Smith I have some good news and some bad news"
Smith - "Give us the bad news first Doc"
Doctor - "Well we have had to amputate both legs"
Smith - "Bloody hell whats the good news ffs"
Doctor - "You see that stunning blonde nurse over by the door, with the long legs"
Smith - "Yes"
Doctor - "Well I'm taking her out tonight"

Click to expand...

Ding dong what a carry on!

 

Kumquat

New member

Mar 2, 2009

4,459

• Mar 26, 2015

• #34

I was in a pub last week and a guy came in with a girl with the most beautiful legs I'd ever seen. As she got to the bar, she slipped on a puddle of beer and took a tumble, injuring her leg. Her boyfriend asked if there was a doctor in the house. I said yes. He asked if I could check her out. I said "well ok". For the next ten minutes I ran my hands up and down her legs, pausing only to straighten my trousers, before announcing, slightly short of breath, that "everything was fine". The boyfriend got angry saying, "but she can't walk. Call yourself a doctor?!" I said, "sorry, I thought you said docker!"