Life, And What To Do When You're Fed Up With Yours

Brian Fantana · Nov 2, 2015

dazzer6666 said:
Maybe try Teaching English as a Foreign Language for a spell - loads of opportunities all over the world, not much training needed and you'll meet loads of people. Just a thought.

This is an EXCELLENT idea.
[MENTION=4675]Frutos[/MENTION], if this is something that turns out to be of interest drop me a PM as a very good friend of mine has a company that trains and places teachers all over the world.

Ernest · Nov 2, 2015

Lighten up and have some fun, if you got money then blow it and go travelling or do something interesting with it. I'm sure if you took 6 months out and followed your dreams you could come back and start again , whether personally or professionally.

Never sit there saying if only, get off your backside and do something about it.

Pogue Mahone · Nov 2, 2015

In my late twenties, I was in a long term relationship with someone who I knew I didn't really want to be with, deep down. I got married, bought a place together etc. I had a 'good job' paying good money...but it was all so soulless, and the decades stretched in front of me with nothing to look forward to.

It took a lot of courage to change everything, but change was necessary, and it was the best thing I could have done.

I left my wife and went to teacher training college. There I met Mrs Mahone, and when we qualified we decided to move to Brighton. This was in 1992, and we're still here, still happy, and content.

I have had enough of teaching, though, and so I am taking another plunge into the relative unknown at the end of this school year - let's see where life takes us next, eh?

If you are not content with what you've got, then for your own sake you have to change it. If you can't be where you are, be somewhere else. Travel. Live dangerously. You are young, probably only about a third of the way into your life. Change it.

You know, sometimes I used to justify my previous existence by comparing it favourably with people who were substantially worse off than me. At least I wasn't poor and destitute in Somalia or whatever. That way lies depression and loss of hope.

Change your life. Do it now.

StonehamPark · Nov 2, 2015

Frutos said:
Basically, I'm 31 years old and utterly fed up with what passes for my life. I'm stuck in a job/sector that holds no particular interest for me and certainly gives me no incentive to go to work each day, yet I'm basically not qualified to do anything else. I'm in a relationship that's lasted for 3 years without really going anywhere, and honestly I'm not sure whether it ever will yet I'm also too insecure and frankly afraid of being even more alone and isolated than is currently the case to risk ending it. In a nutshell I'm sick of my life just drifting along and passing me by with no particular purpose to any of it, I'm just not sure what to do about it.

The thought occurs to me to just jack it all in and spend my savings travelling for a while, in the hope that I'll find something or somewhere or someone or whatever that's right for me, but is that just taking the coward's way out and running away from my problems rather than actually dealing with them? Maybe I should try to find a new job, except I'm stuck in the same situation I've been in as long as I can remember of not knowing what I want to do with my life and as noted earlier I'm probably past the stage of being qualified to do anything except what I already do.

I don't really know exactly where or when it all went wrong for me, I just want to find the right way of somehow salvaging it all. Any advice or tips or whatever from those with any kind of pertinent experience will be gratefully received.

Similar boat.

I'm packing it all in and 'effing off to Canada early next year. Come with.

Or do a TEFL course in Brighton and teach out in South East Asia for 6-12 months. That'll give you plenty of relaxed thinking time to figure out what you really want to do without the pressures of everyday life.

spring hall convert · Nov 2, 2015

Frutos said:
Basically, I'm 31 years old and utterly fed up with what passes for my life. I'm stuck in a job/sector that holds no particular interest for me and certainly gives me no incentive to go to work each day, yet I'm basically not qualified to do anything else. I'm in a relationship that's lasted for 3 years without really going anywhere, and honestly I'm not sure whether it ever will yet I'm also too insecure and frankly afraid of being even more alone and isolated than is currently the case to risk ending it. In a nutshell I'm sick of my life just drifting along and passing me by with no particular purpose to any of it, I'm just not sure what to do about it.

The thought occurs to me to just jack it all in and spend my savings travelling for a while, in the hope that I'll find something or somewhere or someone or whatever that's right for me, but is that just taking the coward's way out and running away from my problems rather than actually dealing with them? Maybe I should try to find a new job, except I'm stuck in the same situation I've been in as long as I can remember of not knowing what I want to do with my life and as noted earlier I'm probably past the stage of being qualified to do anything except what I already do.

I don't really know exactly where or when it all went wrong for me, I just want to find the right way of somehow salvaging it all. Any advice or tips or whatever from those with any kind of pertinent experience will be gratefully received.

Travelling is a good call or if you don't want to do something quite as extreme as that, volunteer or dedicate yourself to a hobby outside of work, you'll meet like-minded people and you never know what could happen. Break that horrible modern connection between the worth of a task you complete and money, it'll change you and the people around you.

Seagull58 · Nov 2, 2015

Do some research into working abroad and do it. As has been mentioned, teaching English as a foreign language is a very good option and will open doors in numerous countries. I was 51 when I upped sticks and moved to South Africa in 2010. I took a 30% pay cut but I benefit from the wonderful climate, the low cost of living and the gorgeous black chicks who love white guys. I haven't regretted it for one minute and my permanent residence application is now in the works.

Puppet Master · Nov 2, 2015

Sorry to hear that Frutos. You've always come across a nice bloke on here so take heart from the fact you must present yourself well and give off the right vibe. I wish I had all the answers but one thing I have learnt is life is too short to spend it worrying about the what ifs and what could bes. Be brave and grab the bull by the horns. I think going travelling will be a fantastic way to break the routine as it were. That feeling that life is a bit stale and you're just plodding along is often the worst thing for insecurity and anxiety so get out there and experience new cultures, new people, anything to break that humdrum feeling. It's only when you can properly evaluate yourself you can consider what's best for you.

I spent a long time not really knowing "who I was" but we are privileged in this country to have freely available resources where you can speak to the right people. I've had to learn a lot about myself, probably rambling a bit now but what I'm getting at is get your mind in the right place first then all those choices will be a lot clearer and if something feels bad for you, it probably is so you know what to cut out

. Good luck.

Mr Banana · Nov 2, 2015

Frutos said:
Basically, I'm 31 years old and utterly fed up with what passes for my life. I'm stuck in a job/sector that holds no particular interest for me and certainly gives me no incentive to go to work each day, yet I'm basically not qualified to do anything else. I'm in a relationship that's lasted for 3 years without really going anywhere, and honestly I'm not sure whether it ever will yet I'm also too insecure and frankly afraid of being even more alone and isolated than is currently the case to risk ending it. In a nutshell I'm sick of my life just drifting along and passing me by with no particular purpose to any of it, I'm just not sure what to do about it.

The thought occurs to me to just jack it all in and spend my savings travelling for a while, in the hope that I'll find something or somewhere or someone or whatever that's right for me, but is that just taking the coward's way out and running away from my problems rather than actually dealing with them? Maybe I should try to find a new job, except I'm stuck in the same situation I've been in as long as I can remember of not knowing what I want to do with my life and as noted earlier I'm probably past the stage of being qualified to do anything except what I already do.

I don't really know exactly where or when it all went wrong for me, I just want to find the right way of somehow salvaging it all. Any advice or tips or whatever from those with any kind of pertinent experience will be gratefully received.

I'm in exactly the same predicament as you and my advice, not that it's worth owt, is to give up

vegster · Nov 2, 2015

I think there are no end of us stuck in our own personal ruts, I too have a crap job but I can switch off and just think of the small bits of quality time I can get doing the things I love.
It can be a horrible world out there and it can seem that there is no light anywhere in your life but try to think of the good times, that perfect sunset, a chipped goal from Bobby, the song of a Blackbird on a sunny day. And, be heartened that you are young enough and with enough time to change things for the better. :thumbsup:

Chin up !

Mr Bridger · Nov 2, 2015

I just imagine I support palace and I realise how lucky I am , then life gets right back on track :thumbsup:

Dorset Seagull · Nov 2, 2015

The main thing that consistently pops up in this thread is how travelling can give you new experiences and time to evaluate things.

Do not read all this then decide to think about it. You need to take the plunge as the longer you procrastinate the more likelyhood that you will stagnate and not make that leap that you need to and end up remaining in your current situation.

What's the worst that could happen if you up sticks?

Two Professors · Nov 2, 2015

I'm retired now,but if I had my time over I'd learn Australian and travel the world as a barman,until I found my Shangri-La.Apparently there's one out there for everybody(paradise,not Australian).Good Luck whatever you do and keep the faith!!

Ninja Elephant · Nov 2, 2015

[MENTION=4675]Frutos[/MENTION] has a flair for languages as well, travelling sounds like the one - get out to Spain, pronto!

thedonkeycentrehalf · Nov 2, 2015

You may feel as an assistant manager that you can't step back (either pride or financial) but with any career change you shouldn't be afraid to take a step backwards to move forwards. If you can afford it, then it is always worth taking the chance - I've done it a few times over the years and it has always worked out for me. Best of luck.

wellquickwoody · Nov 2, 2015

Dear Frutos,

Do NOT have big what ifs. Have a multitude of little what ifs as we all know roughly where our life is leading and little what ifs are of no consequence in the big scheme of things.

If you had worked for a different employer, if you had asked that other girl out, if you had saved harder rather than enjoyed those expensive holidays. None of those ifs would really change how you choose to live your life, we all have a reasonable idea of our strengths and weaknesses, and minor changes of circumstance cannot change the overall behaviour of the person.

You appear to have the means to get out there and challenge yourself, and who you are, or want to be. You could find an inner strength that you never thought you possessed, you could find a spiritual calling that changes your view of the world, you may just realise what a beautiful place the world can be if you are content in yourself. You are 31, you have time to do challenging things and to create a life around yourself that you excel in and give your best to those around you. At 41 you will be petrified to take a risk like that as you will have too much to lose, at 51 you will most likely dismiss the idea as the thoughts of a younger man frustrated, at 61 you will becoming too old to have a choice for much longer. Be brave, get out into the world as you do not know it, and become who you could be with an experience that may revolutionise both yourself and your loved ones, whoever they may be.

In simple terms, go for it!

Fungus · Nov 2, 2015

Another vote to go travelling! Or at least find a new challenge.

I'm 58 and retired a couple of years ago, having spent most of the previous 25 years in a rut, and in a job that I mostly hated (and towards the end, didn't even understand). Staying in the job was the coward's way - it was reasonably well paid, but I didn't have the guts to go out and look for something that made me happy. I now regret it, and would make sure I made big changes in my life every few years if I could do it again, even if it was a step into the unknown.

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got". Or something like that.

Also, it *may* be easier without a partner...

HOFNSKIN · Nov 2, 2015

To put the alternative views:

Life is not Fair.?

No one has the right to be happy.?

Good luck anyway.

BadFish · Nov 2, 2015

wellquickwoody said:
Dear Frutos,

Do NOT have big what ifs. Have a multitude of little what ifs as we all know roughly where our life is leading and little what ifs are of no consequence in the big scheme of things.

If you had worked for a different employer, if you had asked that other girl out, if you had saved harder rather than enjoyed those expensive holidays. None of those ifs would really change how you choose to live your life, we all have a reasonable idea of our strengths and weaknesses, and minor changes of circumstance cannot change the overall behaviour of the person.

You appear to have the means to get out there and challenge yourself, and who you are, or want to be. You could find an inner strength that you never thought you possessed, you could find a spiritual calling that changes your view of the world, you may just realise what a beautiful place the world can be if you are content in yourself. You are 31, you have time to do challenging things and to create a life around yourself that you excel in and give your best to those around you. At 41 you will be petrified to take a risk like that as you will have too much to lose, at 51 you will most likely dismiss the idea as the thoughts of a younger man frustrated, at 61 you will becoming too old to have a choice for much longer. Be brave, get out into the world as you do not know it, and become who you could be with an experience that may revolutionise both yourself and your loved ones, whoever they may be.

In simple terms, go for it!

Brilliant post.

Bevendean Hillbilly · Nov 2, 2015

Frutos said:
Basically, I'm 31 years old and utterly fed up with what passes for my life. I'm stuck in a job/sector that holds no particular interest for me and certainly gives me no incentive to go to work each day, yet I'm basically not qualified to do anything else. I'm in a relationship that's lasted for 3 years without really going anywhere, and honestly I'm not sure whether it ever will yet I'm also too insecure and frankly afraid of being even more alone and isolated than is currently the case to risk ending it. In a nutshell I'm sick of my life just drifting along and passing me by with no particular purpose to any of it, I'm just not sure what to do about it.

The thought occurs to me to just jack it all in and spend my savings travelling for a while, in the hope that I'll find something or somewhere or someone or whatever that's right for me, but is that just taking the coward's way out and running away from my problems rather than actually dealing with them? Maybe I should try to find a new job, except I'm stuck in the same situation I've been in as long as I can remember of not knowing what I want to do with my life and as noted earlier I'm probably past the stage of being qualified to do anything except what I already do.

I don't really know exactly where or when it all went wrong for me, I just want to find the right way of somehow salvaging it all. Any advice or tips or whatever from those with any kind of pertinent experience will be gratefully received.

At least you live in Sussex. Try all of your woes whilst living in Essex.

patchamalbion · Nov 2, 2015

Travelling is a great idea, whether you're 21 or 61! It will provide you with the opportunity to relax, meet interesting people and give you time to think. Sometimes something like that will help you reflect on your current life and might help to make some decisions that will shape the next stage of your life! Do it

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