robinsonsgrin
Well-known member
look up Havening Technique.. it is a Paul McKenna thing and there are practitioners around..
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Does anyone have mental health problems?
- Thread starter Sussex Nomad
- Start date
look up Havening Technique.. it is a Paul McKenna thing and there are practitioners around..
spring hall convert
Well-known member
Tories in showing true colours on mental health shocker
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-pills-depression-mental-health-a7600931.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-pills-depression-mental-health-a7600931.html
glasfryn
cleaning up cat sick
George Freeman does not know his arse from his elbow he really needs to watch his seat
Psychobilly freakout
HellBilly
Washie
Well-known member
Hi guys, thought i would post about what i posted earlier about my possible anxiety. I have finally started my driving lessons and had my first on Friday, i've decided to start just going to the shop more just to get into a habit of leaving the house more. Will keep you updated but i'm starting to feel a bit better. Obviously there is some distance to go yet, but i want to thank the OP for starting this thread as it helped me see my problems.
Grizz
Well-known member
- Jul 5, 2003
- 1,248
Can I ask a question and maybe any advice?
I'm on the other side of the coin. My husband is heading on down this route and I'm lost, I actually don't know what to do anymore. A lot of his issues stem from work related stress and health issues. He's not an unhappy person, but these things are starting to get him down now and the health related issues (nothing life threatening) have made him completely averse to taking any type of tablet. It seems we manage to deal with one issue, then another crops up and we're back to square one. Take the work situation, we got that resolved partly. His boss is very aware of the situation now and has taken work off of him and is very understanding, so a small step in the right direction and he's looking for another job where he's not under the cosh all the time, but now the health stuff has cropped up again in the form of a broken tooth. I sit here on the brink of tears sometimes and it tears me apart that I don't know how to help. I try and act normal, just take each day as it comes, know that we'll have good days and bad, but always try to focus on the positives, always try and encourage, but we seem to make little head way now. Tonight he said he feels like he's cracking up, that he doesn't know what is in his head and what isn't, so suggested maybe professional help and a counsellor, not a doctor, that could help him order his thoughts, but he flew off the handle and I'm sitting here thinking that I'm a complete **** for suggesting it. I'm so so lost now.
Sorry, writing this over a period of half hour.
Just came down and apologised and I said, I'd rather you snap at me and let it out rather than bottle it up and just lie in bed. Talk to me.
I dunno...... I'm rambling now.... Sorry.
I'm on the other side of the coin. My husband is heading on down this route and I'm lost, I actually don't know what to do anymore. A lot of his issues stem from work related stress and health issues. He's not an unhappy person, but these things are starting to get him down now and the health related issues (nothing life threatening) have made him completely averse to taking any type of tablet. It seems we manage to deal with one issue, then another crops up and we're back to square one. Take the work situation, we got that resolved partly. His boss is very aware of the situation now and has taken work off of him and is very understanding, so a small step in the right direction and he's looking for another job where he's not under the cosh all the time, but now the health stuff has cropped up again in the form of a broken tooth. I sit here on the brink of tears sometimes and it tears me apart that I don't know how to help. I try and act normal, just take each day as it comes, know that we'll have good days and bad, but always try to focus on the positives, always try and encourage, but we seem to make little head way now. Tonight he said he feels like he's cracking up, that he doesn't know what is in his head and what isn't, so suggested maybe professional help and a counsellor, not a doctor, that could help him order his thoughts, but he flew off the handle and I'm sitting here thinking that I'm a complete **** for suggesting it. I'm so so lost now.
Sorry, writing this over a period of half hour.
Just came down and apologised and I said, I'd rather you snap at me and let it out rather than bottle it up and just lie in bed. Talk to me.
I dunno...... I'm rambling now.... Sorry.
So sorry to read this and understand what you're going through and also brave to post it.
Get some help. He may have flown off the handle at the suggestion, but you need to think of yourself as well. Even if he refuses (initially) to see anyone, go and have a chat yourself (your GP should refer you very quickly).
You're doing brilliantly trying to help him too. It's not easy. Hang in there, and don't apologise for rambling. If it's helped you, it's worth it.
If you can possibly make it work financially, somehow, (but based solely on your short synopsis), I would advise that he leaves that job/career ASAP. Work pressures might have been the cause of this, although I realise there's the argument about a person's underlying nature being the underlying reason.
The guy needs true time off of the treadmill, not just a week or two. Life is too short. The income from the job is not the be all and end all, I realise bills must be met, but his wellbeing comes first.
Then turn to the mental health resources you mention. Don't let him underplay it to his GP or any other professional, otherwise he might be pushed down very slow waiting lists.
All the best to you both.
the slow norris
Active member
What you e described above was how I was before I sought help. In the end, my wife booked me a doctors appointment, I went in and essentially cried for 20 mins. That was the beginning of me recognising the issue, and the journey to resolving it. I would suggest going to your local ccg (clinical commissioning group) website and look for their mental health provision. They will most likely have some form of iapt service (improving access to psychological therapies) which people can normally self refer in to. Get him to go to his gp, I was given meds to help me sleep, and meds to control my anxiety which were invaluable at the time. Try and getting friends to open up as well, as soon as I had my breakdown it turned out that about 10 other close friends were also controlling anxiety in some way, knowing you are not alone makes a big difference. It's not an easy route to get better, but 4 yrs later I count myself in remission and now able to control this.
Cheshire Cat
The most curious thing..
He or you or both MUST see a doctor. You cannot resolve this on your own - it just isn't possible.
Medication can help, but it depends what he is actually suffering from and what is prescribed (but a blanket refusal to consider it whatever the circumstances is not a good sign).
This site is quite good for starters http://www.mind.org.uk/
If he won't seek help, then seek some help for yourself (your GP can offer some help and guidance even if they can't talk about him specifically without his consent). You cannot reason him out of this, because his reality is no longer the same as yours. You may as well be speaking different languages, and you will be accused of not understanding, not listening, etc etc - it will just feed the underlying paranoia.
Medication can help, but it depends what he is actually suffering from and what is prescribed (but a blanket refusal to consider it whatever the circumstances is not a good sign).
This site is quite good for starters http://www.mind.org.uk/
If he won't seek help, then seek some help for yourself (your GP can offer some help and guidance even if they can't talk about him specifically without his consent). You cannot reason him out of this, because his reality is no longer the same as yours. You may as well be speaking different languages, and you will be accused of not understanding, not listening, etc etc - it will just feed the underlying paranoia.
Grizz
Well-known member
- Jul 5, 2003
- 1,248
Thanks for the replies, they're very much appreciated.
Talk about it all coming out in one night. We've actually just had a very honest conversation and he's opened up a lot to what it's about and what it all stems from. He's become very open to talking to a counsellor about it, which is a big relief. I truly think this is the best route at the moment and they can bring some order to the jumble of thoughts that are in his head. The good thing is the talk has made him realise he's not cracking up and verbalising it has helped. A step has been taken, it's a great relief, doesn't help I've got a stinking cold!
As to his work, I told him at Christmas to just quit, but he's determined to actually improve things and wants to work. That's a battle for another time. I'm just glad we're talking properly now.
Thanks for this thread and letting it be a sounding board.
The one question I did want to ask that I didn't in the beginning is to those that have suffered/suffering similar to what my other half is going through. What properly ****s you off, what pitfalls should I avoid? I know everyone is different, but it might help me a little.
Talk about it all coming out in one night. We've actually just had a very honest conversation and he's opened up a lot to what it's about and what it all stems from. He's become very open to talking to a counsellor about it, which is a big relief. I truly think this is the best route at the moment and they can bring some order to the jumble of thoughts that are in his head. The good thing is the talk has made him realise he's not cracking up and verbalising it has helped. A step has been taken, it's a great relief, doesn't help I've got a stinking cold!
As to his work, I told him at Christmas to just quit, but he's determined to actually improve things and wants to work. That's a battle for another time. I'm just glad we're talking properly now.
Thanks for this thread and letting it be a sounding board.
The one question I did want to ask that I didn't in the beginning is to those that have suffered/suffering similar to what my other half is going through. What properly ****s you off, what pitfalls should I avoid? I know everyone is different, but it might help me a little.
the slow norris
Active member
Without my wife, I would not have got through the door of the gp to even start sorting it out. I always knew she was being supportive, however the worst thing I could hear was "Its going to be fine", whenever I heard this I always thought "no, it's not, but I can't tell you what's going on in my head because I don't know how to". It didn't make me mad, it just made me more sad. I would maybe talk in terms of finding out why things are like they are, rather than fixing them straight away. Like I said, I'm always knew my wife was supportive, but I was too far gone to be able to verbalise it (in fact, just trying to say thenkyou bought more anxiety as I thought that would make me seem like I'm failing being a decent husband). I guess what I'm saying is carry on supporting, it is invaluable
As above, just keep supporting, even if it seems futile sometimes. Worth it in the long run - and you sound like you're an absolute rock.
Cheshire Cat
The most curious thing..
From your side... (some of this may sound harsh and unsympathetic but it really isn't intended as such)
....things that really p*ss me off about living with someone with depression (I know it isn't their fault, they can't help it, it is the illness talking not them, but it is SO frustrating some times). Not everyone has the patience of a saint all the time.
DON'T get drunk (definitely makes it much worse)
They stop talking
They hide away
You feel like you have to do absolutely everything (even trivial things like washing up and hoovering) and resent them for it.
Don't think you can rationalise them out of it (you can't).
They can become really boring, apathetic, and isolated/isolating to live with - which is part of the illness.
Don't loose your temper with them - it doesn't get you anywhere and makes it worse.
Don't stop loving them - this can be really hard after a while, especially if they are not improving.
When they won't seek help, even though it is patently obvious to you that they need something.
They just won't bl**dy listen to reason, even when you are clearly right and they are not!!!! which is when you loose your temper (see above).
Don't overcompensate and try to control their lives because they will resent you for it and again it makes things worse.
Take some time for yourself - trying to solve somebody else's problems is exhausting and lonely.
Stay calm, but have a cry if it makes you feel better (or even if it doesn't but you need one).
Be patient (very hard to do).
Don't shout at them - it won't provoke a positive reaction.
Stay strong, and find a supportive, sympathetic, discrete, willing and loyal friend/relative that you can unload on every now and again.
and rest....
Cheshire Cat
The most curious thing..
Double post
PS - be nice to yourself.
PS - be nice to yourself.
Last edited:
the slow norris
Active member
spot on Cheshire Cat, spot on.
BadFish
Huge Member
- Oct 19, 2003
- 17,102
This post nails it .
Just take it one day at a time. And the saying of every day may not be good but there's something good in every day is one of my motto's that I say to myself every morning. It's so hard to get my family to understand when I'm going through a low spell.
I went to see a nurse last week and she was caring and understanding. The last few months I've been carrying on with no mental health check-ups so any meetings or appointments that crop up I'm going to make sure someone keeps an eye on me. I think subconsciously I know when I'm down but always try and carry on. This can very occasionally lead to a severe panic attack or breakdown eventually.
What Cheshire Cat has said is spot on. Sound advice.
I went to see a nurse last week and she was caring and understanding. The last few months I've been carrying on with no mental health check-ups so any meetings or appointments that crop up I'm going to make sure someone keeps an eye on me. I think subconsciously I know when I'm down but always try and carry on. This can very occasionally lead to a severe panic attack or breakdown eventually.
What Cheshire Cat has said is spot on. Sound advice.
Grizz
Well-known member
- Jul 5, 2003
- 1,248
Ta for that, I think I'm basically on the right track then. I never get drunk or lose my rag anyway, so got those bases covered. The control ones interesting, as he's a lazy shite anyway, but I've made a bit of an effort to stop doing everything. He's even taken to doing the Sunday roast as his thing, which is cool.
Long way to go, but his reasons for being like this were very interesting and completely left field, I had no idea they were the main reason, but they do make sense now. So today is a new day, let's see what it brings.
Thanks everyone.
pearl
Well-known member
very best wishes, I've been in your situation, but can't really add to the sound advice on here, especially the control bit. Please remember to look after yourself though