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[Misc] Should you be allowed to marry...........







Cheshire Cat

Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
Nov 4, 2006
11,440
Sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off...
Don't give money to lawyers - it only encourages them.
 




T

Tokyohands

Well-known member
Jan 5, 2017
940
Tokyo
Thunder Bolt said:
I know people who met and married within 6 weeks, who are still together decades later, and others who courted for years, before marrying who then split up.
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The courting for years then getting married and splitting up is not really a surprise I reckon as it's probably not really what one person really wants. I was with an ex girlfriend in England for 5 years, we had a house together etc, no real problems at all but the relationship was sleep walking towards marriage as that was the next progression. When it was seriously discussed I suddenly thought "do I actually really want to marry this girl?" decided I didn't and bolted leaving the poor girl heartbroken, she hadn't done anything wrong and she was nice n all that but just not THE ONE.

I was dating my wife for a year and a half before we married, I was 30 and she was 24 but 9 years plus a couple of kids later things are even better.
 






Herr Tubthumper

Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
59,517
The Fatherland
cjd said:
Should you be allowed to marry someone without first seeking legal advice and a pre-contract drawn up ?

Following on from another thread re; Divorce, it strikes me odd, that we are allowed to enter into a really binding contract while we are effectively 'drunk' on emotions.........only to find out years later as we ( not all...but a lot) sober up, that we are then bound by law to an often unequal tearing up of that contract.

If we buy a house, every nook and cranny legally is covered and takes months to conclude, but marriage......oh, go on luv....do it....just sign here and grab a couple of witnesses off the street. All done in 20 minutes. No background checks needed,

Thoughts ?
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Conversely if you buy a house you generally aren’t allowed to try it out before you buy it. Swings and roundabouts. .
 


Lower West Stander

Lower West Stander

Well-known member
Mar 25, 2012
4,753
Back in Sussex
DFL JCL said:
This is a very personal subject, hence it is very subjective. However for me it comes down to trust and self-determination. A) I don't need anyone giving me legal advice on something that is as complex as a relationship, which i wouldn't have even listened to anyway. B) Rather naively i am sure, if we were to divorce the finances, are not the aspect that i think i would be most concerned about.

Conor Oberst has a lyric that sums up my thoughts, "every insurance just magnifies the doubt"
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Yes - that is naive.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 










sully

sully

Dunscouting
Jul 7, 2003
7,831
Worthing
DFL JCL said:
Rather naively i am sure, if we were to divorce the finances, are not the aspect that i think i would be most concerned about.
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Naive isn’t the half of it.

I only discovered when it came to divorce just how nasty things can get when all you want is a fair settlement.

I had the kids used against me and my inheritance taken away with a refusal from the ex to actually sign a final financial settlement.

It has taken 15 years for my kids to finally understand that I was never the evil money grabbing tyrant their mother portrayed me as and I still have nothing of value to my name and a huge mortgage that won’t get paid off until I’m 70 while she still lives in the house with my equity in it. Because I have re-married without that signed financial settlement, there is no way I can ever get back what my parents worked so hard to provide for me.

Bitter? Me? Of course I am. I just got unlucky with my early choices in life, though. Looking back, some sort of pre-nup would have helped, though, as I already owned the house she moved into when we first got together. She came with nothing and took everything.

Thankfully, I can’t see it happening again and not just because I’ve no longer got anything that can be taken from me.
 




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