Bell Cheeses at work

Petee · Aug 25, 2017

An office classic has been sent around this afternoon:

'To all

Can you please wash your teaspoons - and any other cutlery that you use - after you have used them. It really doesn't take that long. It's not really worth any of us doing it if dirty ones get put in with the ones that have been washed up!'

I'm sure there are bigger problems in the world....

Badger · Aug 25, 2017

The Brighton Bear said:
I like that phrase. If the boss asks me why I'm not doing anything on a Monday I will inform him that I am "transitioning into the working week".

I like that thinking. I'm currently transitioning into the weekend

pearl · Aug 25, 2017

Badger said:
I like that thinking. I'm currently transitioning into the weekend

Next week I will mostly be transitioning into retirement

narly101 · Sep 4, 2017

Well blow me down. Moaning at work is good for you!

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/sep/04/office-hot-grumble-moaning-good-for-you

LlcoolJ · Sep 4, 2017

dazzer6666 said:
Doubt it...she'll leave them there till they go black and attract flies, then eventually chuck the oozing, rotting things in @HKFS's bin.

At the office I used to work in there was a MASSIVE fat MINGER who did just this all the time. Not only did she bring in loads of fruit which gradually went off and then got thrown away but she did similar with "healthy" lunch foods such as cup a soups, Ryvita, tins of Weight Watchers branded stuff etc.

She would state to her equally annoying mate that "I've brought soup for lunch but I don't really fancy it" and proceed to order McDonalds or fish and chips or a huge bacon sandwich or a pie instead. Because these items didn't go off like the fruit, they stockpiled under her desk instead. There were piles of tins and boxes there and I'm 100% certain that they are still there now.

She was also the most nasty, spiteful person who I've ever had the misfortune of working with and would slag EVERYONE off behind their backs, seemingly oblivious to the fact that we all knew this. A deeply strange and troubled individual who one might have felt sorry for if she wasn't such a total ****.

GreersElbow · Sep 4, 2017

Lass in credit management, newly wed. Doesn't shut up about her wedding (6 months ago), then slags her husband off all the time.

Then moans about the amount of caleries in her homemade soup.

Every ****ing day.

GreersElbow · Sep 4, 2017

Oh, another guy - credit management. Literally laughs at everything, anything and everything is a joke worth laughing at... gotta be buddies with everyone and laugh at everything.

I help manage our company's liquidity requirements, that's a joke every day "we know who to go to if we dont get paid".

Hilarious!!

dazzer6666 · Sep 4, 2017

GreersElbow said:
Lass in credit management, newly wed. Doesn't shut up about her wedding (6 months ago), then slags her husband off all the time.

Then moans about the amount of caleries in her homemade soup.

Every ****ing day.

GreersElbow said:
Oh, another guy - credit management. Literally laughs at everything, anything and everything is a joke worth laughing at... gotta be buddies with everyone and laugh at everything.

I help manage our company's liquidity requirements, that's a joke every day "we know who to go to if we dont get paid".

Hilarious!!

Credit Management in your firm sounds like a right bundle of fun....................... :smile:

Spicy · Sep 4, 2017

ngood77 said:

I am unsure I am qualified to determine who, or who was not, suspicious looking when eating yoghurt. If it was a particular flavour being nicked then that would narrow the field of investigation and a police report could be filed - "At 3.15 p.m on Monday 4 September a suspicious looking person was seen to be in possession of a raspberry flavoured yoghurt....."

dazzer6666 · Sep 4, 2017

Spicy said:
I am unsure I am qualified to determine who, or who was not, suspicious looking when eating yoghurt. If it was a particular flavour being nicked then that would narrow the field of investigation and a police report could be filed - "At 3.15 p.m on Monday 4 September a suspicious looking person was seen to be in possession of a raspberry flavoured yoghurt....."

Need to work on the office culture perhaps ?

The Clamp · Sep 4, 2017

Petee said:
An office classic has been sent around this afternoon:

'To all

Can you please wash your teaspoons - and any other cutlery that you use - after you have used them. It really doesn't take that long. It's not really worth any of us doing it if dirty ones get put in with the ones that have been washed up!'

I'm sure there are bigger problems in the world....

I'm sure in some people's eyes this would make me a bell cheese but I was manager of a mid sized office many years ago, just as the craze for bringing in elaborate meals, making of exotic coffee's and strange teas, health shakes and smoothies etc was kicking off. Before that it was sandwiches in a box and a flask or pop out for lunch.
6 months in, the chaos was overwhelming the office, emails about washing up, the place a mess, people spending 20 mins away from the desk to make drinks when not even on a break.

I shut the kitchen permanently and told them all to go back to packed lunches and flasks and have your main cooked meal at home in the evening, no breakfast to be eaten in the office and if you don't like it you can F off to Pret or wherever it is you like to go, it's become a joke and this isn't Google HQ. Within a few weeks the moaning stopped, people were eating good packed lunches and weren't up and down making mocha cocka cheena vagflaps with cocoa dusting every 10 minutes.

I recommend binning staff kitchens, they are shit.

CHAPPERS · Sep 4, 2017

The Clamp said:
I'm sure in some people's eyes this would make me a bell cheese but I was manager of a mid sized office many years ago, just as the craze for bringing in elaborate meals, making of exotic coffee's and strange teas, health shakes and smoothies etc was kicking off. Before that it was sandwiches in a box and a flask or pop out for lunch.
6 months in, the chaos was overwhelming the office, emails about washing up, the place a mess, people spending 20 mins away from the desk to make drinks when not even on a break.

I shut the kitchen permanently and told them all to go back to packed lunches and flasks and have your main cooked meal at home in the evening, no breakfast to be eaten in the office and if you don't like it you can F off to Pret or wherever it is you like to go, it's become a joke and this isn't Google HQ. Within a few weeks the moaning stopped, people were eating good packed lunches and weren't up and down making mocha cocka cheena vagflaps with cocoa dusting every 10 minutes.

I recommend binning staff kitchens, they are shit.

RONALDEANO · Sep 4, 2017

I work along side four polish blokes and i am sick to death of not understanding a word they are saying. The worst part is when all five of us are stood around chatting and suddenly they all switch to speaking polish. F*****S :angry:

dazzer6666 · Sep 4, 2017

RONALDEANO said:
I work along side four polish blokes and i am sick to death of not understanding a word they are saying. The worst part is when all five of us are stood around chatting and suddenly they all switch to speaking polish. F*****S

They only do that when they are talking about YOU

narly101 · Sep 4, 2017

RONALDEANO said:
I work along side four polish blokes and i am sick to death of not understanding a word they are saying. The worst part is when all five of us are stood around chatting and suddenly they all switch to speaking polish. F*****S

Learn Polish?

RONALDEANO · Sep 4, 2017

narly101 said:
Learn Polish?

There's always one, right?

Cian · Sep 4, 2017

I'm currently stuck working with a few lifers who are waiting to be either paid handsomely to take early retirement, or for their actual retirement date. None do a tap of actual work.

We've got one sleeper - he regularly falls asleep at his desk, head upright but noticeably snoring. He has a clock to his retirement date on his second monitor.

We've got one noise machine of a different type. He uses a tiny fan at his desk that sounds more like a dremel, rather than ask to open a window (the AC in the building is shot - we were meant to be out to a new building by October but its been delayed and nobody will pay to get it fixed). He also turns off the lights as he "doesn't like" flourescent lights, meaning we work in the dark most of the time.

We've got one moaning late middle aged woman, mainly moaning as she has had one of her more menial tasks taken off her that let her snoop on users computers. I'm actually not sure what tasks she has remaining at all other than occasionally filling in for someone else, maybe three weeks a year.

Coming close to a full set of the older bell cheeses possible I think.

Norman Potting · Sep 7, 2017

not sure if this will work but felt it appropriate for thread.

...or it would do if I could work out how to pot it

Hugo Rune · Sep 7, 2017

Found this stuck to the back of my PC.

Vile prank.

Norman Potting · Sep 8, 2017

[video]www.facebook.com/BigThinkdotcom/videos/vb.46126453526/10154927129808527/?type=2&theater[/video]

Another go at posting this after yesterday's miserable effort.

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Bell Cheeses at work

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Mama said knock you out.

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We're going up.

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DISCO SPENG

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