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Bell Cheeses at work



Curious Orange

Punxsatawney Phil
Jul 5, 2003
9,932
On NSC for over two decades...
America. Almost always.

Had a beauty today - I was told:

'We've developed an interim sharepoint database solution'

Me - 'It's a ****ing spreadsheet, isn't it'

'Er, yes'

*****rs

Oh there is so much wrong with that statement, you could have a field day with it if you really wanted to! Though the one liner is very cutting.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
61,088
Chandlers Ford
Daily *SNACK UPDATE*

In frankly unprecedented scenes, it is now 10.27 and NO food has yet been consumed.

Possibly the expected detox has arrived, as where the box of Go-Ahead bars normally sit, there is a bunch of FOUR large bananas (Which will undoubtedly SMELL horrible, but at least she can't crunch them).

She's gone nowhere near them yet though, as seemingly she doesn't LIKE bananas. She likes beef and onion McCoys.
 




pearl

Well-known member
May 3, 2016
12,712
Behind My Eyes
Daily *SNACK UPDATE*

In frankly unprecedented scenes, it is now 10.27 and NO food has yet been consumed.

Possibly the expected detox has arrived, as where the box of Go-Ahead bars normally sit, there is a bunch of FOUR large bananas (Which will undoubtedly SMELL horrible, but at least she can't crunch them).

She's gone nowhere near them yet though, as seemingly she doesn't LIKE bananas. She likes beef and onion McCoys.

hope she ate the bananas?
 






dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Mar 27, 2013
52,006
Burgess Hill
This happens almost every day. Someone is paranoid enough to think others might want to spy on their dumping activities through the tiny gap between the cubicle door and frame that they hang a strip of bog roll from the hinge. It's either catching on, or the individual has a bowel problem, because it's not uncommon to see.

Peculiar form of Bellcheesery....

383d5c6fb1f2fc0666307d6b42a0c3ab.jpg


Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
61,088
Chandlers Ford
hope she ate the bananas?

No. Not one.

The sat there all day, whilst she went back and forth past them to the charity-stocked tuck counter thing for crisps, then Fanta, then a mint aero.

She took them home with her, presumably destined for her bin.

This happens almost every day. Someone is paranoid enough to think others might want to spy on their dumping activities through the tiny gap between the cubicle door and frame that they hang a strip of bog roll from the hinge. It's either catching on, or the individual has a bowel problem, because it's not uncommon to see.

Peculiar form of Bellcheesery....

383d5c6fb1f2fc0666307d6b42a0c3ab.jpg

They are either very odd, or fully justified, in which case there is someone else at your work who is odder still...
 


AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,727
Ruislip
I thought this would under the banner on this thread, although I could think of a few more unmentionable things to call this ****!
The neighbour I'm talking about.


A retired senior judge has warned the power of attorney lacks safeguards, saying he would never sign one himself.
But Frank Willett, a Dunkirk and Normandy veteran, did - and was exploited by his neighbour Colin Blake.
Frank's daughter, Lesley, lived 300 miles away from her father. She was in South Wales and he was in Yorkshire.
Suffering from dementia and in his early 80s, in 2003 Frank made Blake his attorney, giving him responsibility for his financial affairs.
Blake had befriended widower Mr Willett and took him to a local solicitor's office, where the document was drawn up for enduring power of attorney and Frank signed.
Lesley and her husband Brian Felton believed Frank's assets were safe.
But what they didn't realise was that just weeks after the papers were signed, Colin Blake had begun taking out large sums of money.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40927268
 




Seagull85

Member
Apr 21, 2009
98
How do you tell somebody to shut up without getting fired?

The person who site at the desk across from me constantly tells me about her day despite me showing no interest, usually goes somthing like.

Her - Ohh I had to fill the car up today

Me - Mmm

Her - Yea, I tell you petrol is more expensive isn't it, It's always going up.

Me - Yep

Her - Yes I know I remember when I started driving it was 60p a litre and I had a corsa.....

Goes on and on....
 


pearl

Well-known member
May 3, 2016
12,712
Behind My Eyes
How do you tell somebody to shut up without getting fired?

The person who site at the desk across from me constantly tells me about her day despite me showing no interest, usually goes somthing like.

Her - Ohh I had to fill the car up today

Me - Mmm

Her - Yea, I tell you petrol is more expensive isn't it, It's always going up.

Me - Yep

Her - Yes I know I remember when I started driving it was 60p a litre and I had a corsa.....

Goes on and on....

try ......


Her - Ohh I had to fill the car up today

Me - That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more

Her - Yea, I tell you petrol is more expensive isn't it, It's always going up.

Me - That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more

Her - Yes I know I remember when I started driving it was 60p a litre and I had a corsa.....

Goes on and on….

That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more
That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more
That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more
That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more
v
v
vvvvv
 


dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Mar 27, 2013
52,006
Burgess Hill
How do you tell somebody to shut up without getting fired?

The person who site at the desk across from me constantly tells me about her day despite me showing no interest, usually goes somthing like.

Her - Ohh I had to fill the car up today

Me - Mmm

Her - Yea, I tell you petrol is more expensive isn't it, It's always going up.

Me - Yep

Her - Yes I know I remember when I started driving it was 60p a litre and I had a corsa.....

Goes on and on....

Put some headphones in and ignore
 




AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,727
Ruislip
How do you tell somebody to shut up without getting fired?

The person who site at the desk across from me constantly tells me about her day despite me showing no interest, usually goes somthing like.

Her - Ohh I had to fill the car up today

Me - Mmm

Her - Yea, I tell you petrol is more expensive isn't it, It's always going up.

Me - Yep

Her - Yes I know I remember when I started driving it was 60p a litre and I had a corsa.....

Goes on and on....

I've got one of them at my work, we call them the 'talking head'
To get our own back we drop in a conversation starter in crew room, then walk out and watch them go and completely verbal diarrhoea the rest of the staff.
Funny if you're there.
 


Is it PotG?

Thrifty non-licker
Feb 20, 2017
23,089
Sussex by the Sea
How do you tell somebody to shut up without getting fired?

The person who site at the desk across from me constantly tells me about her day despite me showing no interest, usually goes somthing like.

Her - Ohh I had to fill the car up today

Me - Mmm

Her - Yea, I tell you petrol is more expensive isn't it, It's always going up.

Me - Yep

Her - Yes I know I remember when I started driving it was 60p a litre and I had a corsa.....

Goes on and on....

A keyboard across the offender's forehead might get the message across.
 










Seagull85

Member
Apr 21, 2009
98
try ......


Her - Ohh I had to fill the car up today

Me - That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more

Her - Yea, I tell you petrol is more expensive isn't it, It's always going up.

Me - That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more

Her - Yes I know I remember when I started driving it was 60p a litre and I had a corsa.....

Goes on and on….

That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more
That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more
That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more
That’s FASCINATING, do tell me more
v
v
vvvvv

Said as sarcastically as possible I take it!
 


Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patreon
May 8, 2007
12,749
Toronto
There's a guy on my team who has been on annual leave the last 2 days and all of next week. We just assumed he was working from home because he keeps posting messages to our chat client. It turns out he's just incapable of switching off and having a holiday.

I asked him why he was still posting messages and his response was "I'm transitioning into my vacation". Firstly, what an utterly BULLSHIT phrase. Secondly, what does that even mean? I'm pretty sure the company won't grind to a halt if he's not here for a week. He's not even a manager FFS.

Credit to my boss though. He weighed in and effectively told the guy to f*** off and enjoy his holiday.
 




The Brighton Bear

Come on Kylie, get a grip
May 3, 2010
13,876
Rottingdean
There's a guy on my team who has been on annual leave the last 2 days and all of next week. We just assumed he was working from home because he keeps posting messages to our chat client. It turns out he's just incapable of switching off and having a holiday.

I asked him why he was still posting messages and his response was "I'm transitioning into my vacation". Firstly, what an utterly BULLSHIT phrase. Secondly, what does that even mean? I'm pretty sure the company won't grind to a halt if he's not here for a week. He's not even a manager FFS.

Credit to my boss though. He weighed in and effectively told the guy to f*** off and enjoy his holiday.

I like that phrase. If the boss asks me why I'm not doing anything on a Monday I will inform him that I am "transitioning into the working week".
 





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