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[Humour] Joke du Jour



Brovion

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 6, 2003
19,322
A man was paddling in his kayak in a river in northern Canada near the Arctic circle. It was freezing cold and he was worried that, despite his warm clothes, he'd die of exposure. He stopped paddling, and rummaged around in his equipment until he found his small portable gas stove. He lit it and put it by his feet, and soon the heat from the stove had indeed warmed him up.
Unfortunately he then went over some choppy water, the stove toppled over, set fire to the kayak, the kayak disintegrated and the man sadly fell into the water and drowned.

And the moral of the story is: You can't have your kayak and heat it.
 




Dick Swiveller

Well-known member
Sep 9, 2011
9,142
A remote part of Canada and the man died? How on earth do you know the full details leading up to his demise? Don't think you are in CSI Canada and can piece together this seemingly unlikely series of events from the remaining evidence.
 


narly101

Well-known member
Feb 16, 2009
2,683
London
Canoe provide evidence of this man's demise? One thing that should be staring everyone in the face is that even had the stove not toppled over, it is likely that as he was using an enclosed seat kayak (incredibly likely considering he was in the wilds of Canada) and putting the stove at his feet, it would have set light to the top of the kayak. The man's a buffoon and deserved his fate.
 


Feb 23, 2009
22,841
Brighton factually.....
A man was paddling in his kayak in a river in northern Canada near the Arctic circle.(Hmm There is a place called the Arctic Circle, but it is in Alaska part of the USA on the Yokon River, is this the one you mean ?) It was freezing cold (No Shit Sherlock) and he was worried that, despite his warm clothes, he'd die of exposure. He stopped paddling, and rummaged around in his equipment until he found his small portable gas stove. He lit it and put it by his feet, and soon the heat from the stove had indeed warmed him up.
Unfortunately he then went over some choppy water, the stove toppled over, set fire to the kayak, the kayak disintegrated and the man sadly fell into the water and drowned.

And the moral of the story is: You can't have your kayak and heat it.

Apart from that, it still was not funny
 




Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,353
Faversham
If it was freezing cold how could he be paddling a kayak? The river would have been frozen, surely?
 




Withdean11

Well-known member
Feb 18, 2007
2,766
Brighton/Hyde
A poetry contest had come down to two semi-finalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck. They were given a word, then allowed a minute to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination: Timbuktu.

The crowd loved it! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three sluts in a pop-up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Tim bucked two.
 




schmunk

"Members"
Jan 19, 2018
9,406
Mid mid mid Sussex
If it was freezing cold how could he be paddling a kayak? The river would have been frozen, surely?

8yId.gif
 


el punal

Well-known member
A man was paddling in his kayak in a river in northern Canada near the Arctic circle. It was freezing cold and he was worried that, despite his warm clothes, he'd die of exposure. He stopped paddling, and rummaged around in his equipment until he found his small portable gas stove. He lit it and put it by his feet, and soon the heat from the stove had indeed warmed him up.
Unfortunately he then went over some choppy water, the stove toppled over, set fire to the kayak, the kayak disintegrated and the man sadly fell into the water and drowned.

And the moral of the story is: You can't have your kayak and heat it.

That, my son, is taking the biscuit! :nono:
 






bhafc99

Well-known member
Oct 14, 2003
7,051
Dubai
A man was paddling in his kayak in a river in northern Canada near the Arctic circle. It was freezing cold and he was worried that, despite his warm clothes, he'd die of exposure. He stopped paddling, and rummaged around in his equipment until he found his small portable gas stove. He lit it and put it by his feet, and soon the heat from the stove had indeed warmed him up.
Unfortunately he then went over some choppy water, the stove toppled over, set fire to the kayak, the kayak disintegrated and the man sadly fell into the water and drowned.

And the moral of the story is: You can't have your kayak and heat it.

Was his name Hal, and did he steal the kayak from his son?
 


Thunder Bolt

Ordinary Supporter
Kayaks are only 6-8 feet long so how would he be rummaging around in his equipment to find a small gas stove? How much equipment did he have to rummage around in? How did he fit a small gas stove in the kayak?
 
















bhafc99

Well-known member
Oct 14, 2003
7,051
Dubai


Superphil

Dismember
Jul 7, 2003
25,401
In a pile of football shirts
Been here ages. When does the joke start?
 



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