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[Food] Pretentious Pub Food



el punal

Well-known member
On August Bank Holiday weekend our daughter has invited me and Mrs.El Pu for a friends and family lunch at a New Forest pub - she and the rest of the family are camping in the Forest, by the way.

As there are going to be a load of us in the party we have to give our choice of meal in advance - fair enough. So I went on-line to check out what’s on offer on the menu. Well you could have strangled me with a half n’ half scarf. Whoever is running the establishment is suffering from a severe bout of Heston Blumenthal-itis.

This is a sample of the pretentious, poncy descriptions from the menu :

Home made flowerpot bread - Chef’s recipe baked in a flower pot. Please ask a member of staff for today’s flavour.

Jelly and ice cream - smoked duck, caramelised ice cream, baby orange and port jelly.

Pea and pepper risotto - slowly roasted balsamic baby tomatoes and carrot fluff.

And this one is my favourite : Slowly braised lamb shoulder and potatoes - In has el hanout on toasted egg plant with confit of lemon and pickled lotus root.

Of course there many, many more gems on the menu, all equally descriptive. But when all is said and done it’s a pub FFS!! God knows what they describe a packet of cheese and onion crisps as. :eek:
 

WATFORD zero

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 10, 2003
25,550
What you need is a man who can tell good carrot fluff from bad carrot fluff. Luckily NSC has just such a carrot fluff expert

Calling [MENTION=27447]Goldstone1976[/MENTION] :wink:
 

BN9 BHA

DOCKERS
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 14, 2013
21,391
Newhaven
Dress up the food descriptions just to bump up the prices, either that or the chef thinks he's in the West End rather than the New Forest :)
 


Sussex Nomad

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2010
18,185
EP
WTF’s carrot fluff. :lol:

Mermaid-wavy-hair.jpg
 


Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
61,647
Location Location
Just wait till you see what they serve it on. I bet it'll be presented on "a locally sourced plank of pine-smoked cedarwood, drizzled in quail giblets". And your "Guernsey-chopped patate sticks, golden deep-fried in Mayan gooseliver oil" (chips) will arrive in the open boot of a miniature Hillman Imp.

And you'll be expected to consider it "quirky".
 

BN9 BHA

DOCKERS
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 14, 2013
21,391
Newhaven
Just wait till you see what they serve it on. I bet it'll be presented on "a locally sourced plank of pine-smoked cedarwood, drizzled in quail giblets". And your "Guernsey-chopped patate sticks, golden deep-fried in Mayan gooseliver oil" (chips) will arrive in the open boot of a miniature Hillman Imp.

And you'll be expected to consider it "quirky".

:)
One for the We want plates Twitter account.
 




Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
10,859
Crawley
It will be served on a roofing slate or sawn off scaff board, sides will be in a tin can or mini galvanised bucket.
 

el punal

Well-known member
On August Bank Holiday weekend our daughter has invited me and Mrs.El Pu for a friends and family lunch at a New Forest pub - she and the rest of the family are camping in the Forest, by the way.

As there are going to be a load of us in the party we have to give our choice of meal in advance - fair enough. So I went on-line to check out what’s on offer on the menu. Well you could have strangled me with a half n’ half scarf. Whoever is running the establishment is suffering from a severe bout of Heston Blumenthal-itis.

This is a sample of the pretentious, poncy descriptions from the menu :

Home made flowerpot bread - Chef’s recipe baked in a flower pot. Please ask a member of staff for today’s flavour.

Jelly and ice cream - smoked duck, caramelised ice cream, baby orange and port jelly.

Pea and pepper risotto - slowly roasted balsamic baby tomatoes and carrot fluff.

And this one is my favourite : Slowly braised lamb shoulder and potatoes - In has el hanout on toasted egg plant with confit of lemon and pickled lotus root.

Of course there many, many more gems on the menu, all equally descriptive. But when all is said and done it’s a pub FFS!! God knows what they describe a packet of cheese and onion crisps as. :eek:

Another one for you to salivate over :

Snail Garden - The world’s best snails in garlic pastry with crispy forest moss, wild mushrooms and wild garlic pesto.

As for the wine :

Salentein Barrel Selection Malbec, Uco Valley, Mendoza, Argentina - notes of blackberry, blueberry and red currant, with subtle hints of violet. The silky palate offers a crisp, balance backed by vanilla on the lingering finish.

WTF is going on!! :mad:
 

Notters

Well-known member
Oct 20, 2003
24,865
Guiseley
It's very noticeable having moved to Leeds that an awful lot of pubs in Sussex aren't really pubs anymore, but restaurants. Here they focus on ale and if they do do food it's pub grub in large portions. Down there there are so many gastropubs which are effectively restaurants.

I think I'd prefer a middle ground!
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 11, 2003
59,073
The Fatherland
This thread has whet my appetite for [MENTION=409]Herr Tubthumper[/MENTION]'s Marvellous 1901 Food thread. Salivating already! :drool:

:thumbsup:
 

Cowfold Seagull

Fan of the 17 bus
Apr 22, 2009
21,559
Cowfold
On August Bank Holiday weekend our daughter has invited me and Mrs.El Pu for a friends and family lunch at a New Forest pub - she and the rest of the family are camping in the Forest, by the way.

As there are going to be a load of us in the party we have to give our choice of meal in advance - fair enough. So I went on-line to check out what’s on offer on the menu. Well you could have strangled me with a half n’ half scarf. Whoever is running the establishment is suffering from a severe bout of Heston Blumenthal-itis.

This is a sample of the pretentious, poncy descriptions from the menu :

Home made flowerpot bread - Chef’s recipe baked in a flower pot. Please ask a member of staff for today’s flavour.

Jelly and ice cream - smoked duck, caramelised ice cream, baby orange and port jelly.

Pea and pepper risotto - slowly roasted balsamic baby tomatoes and carrot fluff.

And this one is my favourite : Slowly braised lamb shoulder and potatoes - In has el hanout on toasted egg plant with confit of lemon and pickled lotus root.

Of course there many, many more gems on the menu, all equally descriptive. But when all is said and done it’s a pub FFS!! God knows what they describe a packet of cheese and onion crisps as. :eek:

Ridiculous, the dishes you mention may be great for a fine dining restaurant, but not a pub! What's wrong with traditional pub classics like sausage & mash, liver & bacon?, steak & kidney pussing?, cod & chips, etc. etc?

I guess the owners just feel that they can charge more for these ridiculous menu's, but I know which l would prefer to eat!
 

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