[Humour] Joke du Jour.

Questions · Jan 16, 2018

I know a little bit about roofing felt and it can bubble up sometimes. I wouldn’t have thought that it could be confused with warts though.

Martlet · Jan 16, 2018

It sounds more like some sap bubbling out of the wood than anything else (especially warts). Has the shed been put up recently?

Jack Straw · Jan 16, 2018

Gazwag said:
Yes but if it was true he would have taken photos of it

Proof!

LlcoolJ · Jan 16, 2018

I was willing to believe this story until the last post where that photograph has clearly been altered. There is a saw on the wall of the shed and that wasn't mentioned in the original post. Fake news.

Jack Straw · Jan 16, 2018

LlcoolJ said:
I was willing to believe this story until the last post where that photograph has clearly been altered. There is a saw on the wall of the shed and that wasn't mentioned in the original post. Fake news.

A man walked down to the bottom of his garden towards a small wooden building where he kept his lawn mower and a yellow bow-saw. As he approached the structure, he noticed several very small lumps all over it which he'd never seen before. He described it as a real warty shed moment.

LlcoolJ · Jan 16, 2018

Jack Straw said:
A man walked down to the bottom of his garden towards a small wooden building where he kept his lawn mower and a yellow bow-saw. As he approached the structure, he noticed several very small lumps all over it which he'd never seen before. He described it as a real warty shed moment.

I know saws, I'm a very smart guy and you should know this, my saws are the best. Hold on, what was the question? I see what you did there, it was something to do with a lawn mower.

Weststander · Jan 16, 2018

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'

(courtesy of Tommy Cooper)

LlcoolJ · Jan 16, 2018

Weststander said:
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'

(courtesy of Tommy Cooper)

What was a live duck doing walking around in a restaurant? Surely this would be a health and safety issue.

Tim Over Whelmed · Jan 16, 2018

BNthree said:
Shiplap or Overlap? Important to know.

Vital information from which a better analysis of the situation can be made. We've also assumed timber, joint method and the preservative, there's just too much being left to chance!

jevs · Jan 16, 2018

Jack Straw said:
A man walked down to the bottom of his garden towards a small wooden building where he kept his lawn mower. As he approached the structure, he noticed several very small lumps all over it which he'd never seen before. He described it as a real warty shed moment.

Hello boy. That was bloody terrible. Coffee soon? HELLO

LowKarate · Jan 16, 2018

What type of wood was the small wooden building made of?

If it was Poison Oak, that might explain the warts.

Questions · Jan 16, 2018

Jack Straw said:
A man walked down to the bottom of his garden towards a small wooden building where he kept his lawn mower and a yellow bow-saw. As he approached the structure, he noticed several very small lumps all over it which he'd never seen before. He described it as a real warty shed moment.

They look more like doughnuts than warts in the picture.

tiberious · Jan 16, 2018

Jack Straw said:
A man walked down to the bottom of his garden towards a small wooden building where he kept his lawn mower and a yellow bow-saw. As he approached the structure, he noticed several very small lumps all over it which he'd never seen before. He described it as a real warty shed moment.

ok now the fact that you have changed the joke to fit the picture makes me think this is all made up. And to think I used to trust you with those Amex pictures... How many of them did you Photo shop... do we really have a stadium or is it simply all a conspiracy between you and Barber to make us think we are sitting in a nice stadium ? Is it in fact this warty shed ?

Jack Straw · Jan 16, 2018

Questions said:
They look more like doughnuts than warts in the picture.

A man walked down to the bottom of his garden towards a small wooden building where he kept his lawn mower and a yellow bow-saw. As he approached the structure, he noticed several very small pinkish, doughnut-like lumps all over it which he'd never seen before. He described it as a real warty shed moment.

Questions · Jan 16, 2018

Jack Straw said:
A man walked down to the bottom of his garden towards a small wooden building where he kept his lawn mower and a yellow bow-saw. As he approached the structure, he noticed several very small pinkish, doughnut-like lumps all over it which he'd never seen before. He described it as a real warty shed moment.

Doughnut push your luck Jack.

Peter Ward · Jan 16, 2018

LowKarate said:
What type of wood was the small wooden building made of?

If it was Poison Oak, that might explain the warts.

It was made of Number 9 - the larch.

Peter Ward · Jan 16, 2018

https://youtu.be/ug8nHaelWtc

Eggmundo · Jan 16, 2018

Martlet said:
It sounds more like some sap bubbling out of the wood than anything else (especially warts). Has the shed been put up recently?

I concur. It happened to my shed, the sap oozes and it's a real pain. Good luck to this guy, whoever he is.

Bodian · Jan 16, 2018

Are you sure they were warts, and not just scary eyes following you around?

Taybha · Jan 16, 2018

The very first girl i kissed had a big wart on her chin , it was also quite hairy , we used to sit on the beach by peter pans playground and chat for hours , sometimes she used to let me run my fingers through her wart hair , sadly she was run over in 1979 by a number 2A bus going up queensway and we lost contact shortly after , lovely girl .

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[Humour] Joke du Jour.

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