Buzzer
Languidly Clinical
- Oct 1, 2006
- 26,121
There's a few on-going problems at the Amex
I think I might have a solution that solves all these problems. The club charges fans by the minute for their seat which would allow all those early leavers in the East Stand the opportunity to save a bit of dosh by only buying it for, say, 75 minutes (plus a handling fee). The remaining 15 minutes can be bought by those on a waiting list (plus a handling fee) who are stood waiting at the bars at the ground getting aled up (and bringing the club much needed revenue). If there's an exciting game and the fans decide to stay then we operate a system similar to parking fines. If the game is dull and the early leavers want to leave extra early then they still get charged for what they booked but the fans/customers who would replace them get charged for the full time they are sat.
The added benefit is that this also caters for the half-half scarf brigade because we are likely to get tonked by one of the big sides, leaving the real but fickle fans leaving early in a right strop and then vacating a seat for the fake and fickle fans who are only there to try to get the shirt of a Chelsea/Liverpool/Man U fan at the end of a match.
Just imagine how packed the East Stand will look with the mayhem of people leaving, arriving, arguing over whose seat is whose. And it will mean that for the first time ever there will be a noise from the East Stand.
Attendances per seat can now be double-counted and gives us the opportunity of having more fans see a game without increasing the number of seats.
Don't bother trying to think of any downsides to this because there aren't. It's completely flawless and if Paul Barber is reading this, I'll happily take either a lump sum amount as consultancy or a weekly commission as a share of the profits on this wheeze - or a mixture of both.
- Early Leavers
- Long waiting list for season tickets
- Club need to raise more revenue from fans
- Club like to announce dubiously high attendances
I think I might have a solution that solves all these problems. The club charges fans by the minute for their seat which would allow all those early leavers in the East Stand the opportunity to save a bit of dosh by only buying it for, say, 75 minutes (plus a handling fee). The remaining 15 minutes can be bought by those on a waiting list (plus a handling fee) who are stood waiting at the bars at the ground getting aled up (and bringing the club much needed revenue). If there's an exciting game and the fans decide to stay then we operate a system similar to parking fines. If the game is dull and the early leavers want to leave extra early then they still get charged for what they booked but the fans/customers who would replace them get charged for the full time they are sat.
The added benefit is that this also caters for the half-half scarf brigade because we are likely to get tonked by one of the big sides, leaving the real but fickle fans leaving early in a right strop and then vacating a seat for the fake and fickle fans who are only there to try to get the shirt of a Chelsea/Liverpool/Man U fan at the end of a match.
Just imagine how packed the East Stand will look with the mayhem of people leaving, arriving, arguing over whose seat is whose. And it will mean that for the first time ever there will be a noise from the East Stand.
Attendances per seat can now be double-counted and gives us the opportunity of having more fans see a game without increasing the number of seats.
Don't bother trying to think of any downsides to this because there aren't. It's completely flawless and if Paul Barber is reading this, I'll happily take either a lump sum amount as consultancy or a weekly commission as a share of the profits on this wheeze - or a mixture of both.