Being in your 40s

JCL666 · Sep 23, 2016

Really enjoying my 40s

I've made significant changes to my diet, no meat or dairy and I hardly drink alcohol any more. Which people might think is boring I guess.

When it comes to exercise and fitness, you just have to be more aware of things like rest and recovery. I train at least 5 times a week.

LamieRobertson · Sep 23, 2016

Guinness Boy said:
I think I would be right to say that there are a fair few of us aged between 40-49 on the board who have grown up with it.

My mum always said her favourite decade was her 40s and supposedly life begins at 40. Yet I can't help feeling it absolutely blows.

More people you know start to die than get married or have kids. Bits stop working, injury happens more often and every tingle reminds you that you're not immortal (which you were in your 20s as everyone knows). You have to watch your weight, take pills and shop much ,more carefully for clothes that say neither "hipster dick" nor "tweedy old man". You can no longer run that 13 second 100 metres yet your stupid brain insists that you can and that you achieved that time regularly in the past.

Everyone shouts at you. You piss people off all the time. You've either taken on too much at work in an effort to once and for all nail that career or you're stuck in a dead end existence being mocked by 25 year old graduates. You may well have kids and if you do they definitely shout at you because they will be older than babies and (probably) younger than 20. If you don't have kids you may have a partner who resents you for it by now. Or a partner starting the menopause. Or one having a mid life crisis. Or all of the above.

At least you probably have enough money to treat this stress with red wine or beer but, if you do, you will put on 5 stone just opening the bottle, If you don't have enough for booze you will feel a failure.

Or is this just me?

Does it get any better in your 50s? .

Old as you feel is imho so true.................knackered

scamander · Sep 23, 2016

A friend of mine told me that the reason a lot of people get down in their 40's is that they worry about their own health, they worry about their aging parents and they worry about their young kids. In your 20's you're invincible, your parents are still relatively young, and you don't have kids. That kinda makes sense to me and my life situation

This nails it for me, I can just about hack not being able to play sport to any great level and the noticeable 'old man' looks as someone on here put it. The other stuff, ageing parents and friends is something I know will be occurring at some point this decade.

Normal Rob · Sep 23, 2016

I'm 42. Been going to the gym regularly ever since my dad passed away 3 years ago. I'm probably stronger and fitter than i ever have been in my life. For that reason i get a lot more attention from the ladies, especially the 30-40 year old bracket (either married or unmarried) but i'm happily married myself with 3 beautiful daughters. It flatters, but does not tempt.

3 children does mean that i'm flat broke though. But i would not change anything.

DJ NOBO · Sep 23, 2016

I'm also in my 40s. It's what you make of it. The best thing I did was stay fit in my 30s. I still go running and to the gym. It's part of my life. I would recommend exercise as keeping weight off is within your control and good for self-esteem.

To the op, i would say , don't dwell on things. My dad once said to me ' you'll never be as young as you are now'. This is of course obvious, but it struck a chord.

Fungus · Sep 23, 2016

GT49er said:
Yeh? Well you've just described being in your 60s quite accurately......

This. I don't recognise any of that from my 40's.

But I do have great sympathy for anyone just entering their 40's. It means they didn't get to grow up in the 1970's.

Fungus · Sep 23, 2016

dannyboy said:
I'm 46 and a few years back thought everything was a bit samey . I've got a good life but just fancied a change , an adventure . so we decided to emigrate . hopefully should be moving to new Zealand next month just waiting on our visa application. should hopefully get a yes pretty soon . I'll let you know how that goes !

Good for you. I'm 58 and if there's one thing I regret, it's lack of change.

Taybha · Sep 23, 2016

Wrong-Direction said:
I'm 28 in a couple of months, what's your advice for life?

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By now your mum will have realised you're not infact blowing your nose on your socks so just go with the flow and be nice to people , the rest will take care of itself .

bhanutz · Sep 23, 2016

I am in my 40's and this thread is like a therapy session for me! Keep it up guys!

Pretty pink fairy · Sep 23, 2016

normal rob said:
i'm 42. Been going to the gym regularly ever since my dad passed away 3 years ago. I'm probably stronger and fitter than i ever have been in my life. For that reason i get a lot more attention from the ladies, especially the 30-40 year old bracket (either married or unmarried) but i'm happily married myself with 3 beautiful daughters. It flatters, but does not tempt.

3 children does mean that i'm flat broke though. But i would not change anything.

what about your personality :laugh:

regards
DR

Normal Rob · Sep 23, 2016

Pretty pink fairy said:
what about your personality
regards
DR

i remain as modest as ever

hans kraay fan club · Sep 23, 2016

I'm 45, same as [MENTION=6886]Bozza[/MENTION]

Got a lovely, and healthy, family. One lad just starting Uni (I'm SO jealous of him) and another doing A levels this year. Got a decent job / house / car.

The only thing I struggle with is the (constant) aches and pains. I'm pretty fit, but undoubtedly push way too hard. I played 90 minutes on Saturday, bowled 11 overs Sunday, played 5-a-side Monday, then spent Tuesday to Thursday climbing up and down scaffolding on a building site, then football training last night. I CAN still do it, but I am made to pay for it. Hamstring and back are my current pains!

I know I should slow it down, but where's the fun in that? As someone above said - you'll never be this young again.

Herr Tubthumper · Sep 23, 2016

As an aside I have never ever felt the urge or need for children. I think this has helped my personal situation and enables me to do all the things I want to do.

Psychobilly freakout · Sep 23, 2016

I was 6 months away from being 40 and I always said if I reach 40 without children I am not going to bother....

Damn....

I was so close....

Having said that she is now nearly 7 and I am 48 it has been fantastic and puts a whole different spin on life, I do not feel the urge to go out as much as I used too I have done it all and lived right in the heart of a busy scene in Camden for a 10+ years out every night watching bands getting drunk.... Holidays been to countries some people only dream of so I thought the 40s would be quiet and relaxing with nothing much to surprise me...

No not at all been to more counties with the little one and wife, still go abroad and home for gigs although not as often and I am fine with that pick and choose when more friends are likely to be at them etc ect...

You tone things down slightly yes, but I am still annoying and childish and it is great to see the little one get my sense of humor already...

Being 40 is good better than I thought it would be anyway.

Long time dead people, and no one cares to be honest when you go apart from a few close friends and family they move on with life and think about you every now and again...

dont kid yourself that your something special and everyone will miss you because your witty and cool your not..

Just another person, crack on,,,,

Lifes good

Iggle Piggle · Sep 23, 2016

I’m 42. Last weekend, I went away for a Lads weekend in Seville. Golf and drinking, I’m sure you all know the drill. What struck me was how easy it all was without a wife and 2 kids. One Passport not 4. The driving can be shared. Somebody else also remembered to program the Satnav. Not having to find a restaurant with a kids menu. Not having to find a Restaurant that ‘looks’ right for the wife. Not being woke up at stupid O’clock. Basically, not herding cats for 2 days.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my life and can’t complain about any aspects of my it. I’m fit, well and even get noshed off every now and again for the price of a bunch of flowers. I do, however, miss the absence of responsibility from my 20’s and 30’s and get the feeling you become a passenger in your own life as you get older.

Wrong-Direction · Sep 23, 2016

Iggle Piggle said:
I’m 42. Last weekend, I went away for a Lads weekend in Seville. Golf and drinking, I’m sure you all know the drill. What struck me was how easy it all was without a wife and 2 kids. One Passport not 4. The driving can be shared. Somebody else also remembered to program the Satnav. Not having to find a restaurant with a kids menu. Not having to find a Restaurant that ‘looks’ right for the wife. Not being woke up at stupid O’clock. Basically, not herding cats for 2 days.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my life and can’t complain about any aspects of my it. I’m fit, well and even get noshed off every now and again for the price of a bunch of flowers. I do, however, miss the absence of responsibility from my 20’s and 30’s and get the feeling you become a passenger in your own life as you get older.

Ah fantastic, that's cemented the fact I don't want marriage and kids[emoji106]

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Return of the Rev · Sep 23, 2016

Guinness Boy said:
I think I would be right to say that there are a fair few of us aged between 40-49 on the board who have grown up with it.

My mum always said her favourite decade was her 40s and supposedly life begins at 40. Yet I can't help feeling it absolutely blows.

More people you know start to die than get married or have kids. Bits stop working, injury happens more often and every tingle reminds you that you're not immortal (which you were in your 20s as everyone knows). You have to watch your weight, take pills and shop much ,more carefully for clothes that say neither "hipster dick" nor "tweedy old man". You can no longer run that 13 second 100 metres yet your stupid brain insists that you can and that you achieved that time regularly in the past.

Everyone shouts at you. You piss people off all the time. You've either taken on too much at work in an effort to once and for all nail that career or you're stuck in a dead end existence being mocked by 25 year old graduates. You may well have kids and if you do they definitely shout at you because they will be older than babies and (probably) younger than 20. If you don't have kids you may have a partner who resents you for it by now. Or a partner starting the menopause. Or one having a mid life crisis. Or all of the above.

At least you probably have enough money to treat this stress with red wine or beer but, if you do, you will put on 5 stone just opening the bottle, If you don't have enough for booze you will feel a failure.

Or is this just me?

Does it get any better in your 50s? .

56 last week and the bed shitting becomes a little more regular :moo:

Iggle Piggle · Sep 23, 2016

I was also given this advice in my 20's which is probably the best I've ever heard

'Get as high as you can in your career by the age of 40 because after that you will not care'

Ain't that the truth.

soistes · Sep 23, 2016

Lots of good research evidence suggests that the relationship between subjective (self-reported) happiness is U-shaped: it's high in the 20s and falls in middle age, rising again to a peak in the 60s/70s age group. There is similar evidence from lots of countries.
For a simple summary see https://www.theguardian.com/science/head-quarters/2015/jun/24/life-happiness-curve-u-shaped-ageing
Personally this matches my own experience - I'm in my early 60s. The stress of career/family largely behind me. Kids grown up and independent, still working but by choice because I can afford to retire if I choose to. Don't feel I have to prove anything, at work or elsewhere.
Not competing for status or money; still, for the time being at least, relatively fit and healthy - any competition in my life is just with myself ( I would love to get my 5km run time below 22 minutes, and my 10km time below 46 minutes, but I console myself with the thought that most people of my age can't run 5km, full stop). I know I'm lucky, but generally I would say that I'm as happy, probably happier than I've ever been.

Hungry Joe · Sep 23, 2016

I'll be 48 next week, wife, house, no kids. I very nearly didn't make it to my 16th and 25th birthdays so I guess I really do see every year as a bonus, as much as a trite statement as that may sound. I've actually found my 40's to be my most contented time of life by a long way, and getting more so each year, and if I'm lucky enough for that to continue into my 50's then I'll be a pretty happy fellow. I've got back into making music but no longer worry about having to play live or whether my hair (what hair?) or clothes are hip. I've long since given up on having a hench torso but enjoy keeping fit by going for long walks whilst pondering life, the universe and everything. I try to look after myself up to the point it impinges on actually enjoying life and then I remind myself that life is for living, not for trying to extend for as long as possible in bored misery. I also still talk a load of old shite, as you can see by this post.

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