[Misc] OT - Sexual Harassment at Work - BBC article and quiz

METALMICKY · Jan 15, 2019

It's fair to say the perfume scenario is the most contentious. Does this mean the plethora of pre Xmas perfume ads are out of date and sexist when so many have the basic premise of smelling nice for the opposite sex?

The idea of me taking offence at a female colleague complimenting me on my aftershave to me is bizarre.

Super Steve Earle · Jan 15, 2019

Hamilton said:
Good grief.

You have to have been living in a cave to not get 7/7 on that quiz.

As for the questions as to why it isn't men experiencing sexual harassment from women in the quiz to give it balance, that'll be because 99.99999999999% of cases of sexual harassment are caused by men.

Well, er that's not actually remotely true is it.

allystrat · Jan 15, 2019

METALMICKY said:
It's fair to say the perfume scenario is the most contentious. Does this mean the plethora of pre Xmas perfume ads are out of date and sexist when so many have the basic premise of smelling nice for the opposite sex?

The idea of me taking offence at a female colleague complimenting me on my aftershave to me is bizarre.

Quite agree. People like compliments. If a female work colleague has her hair done and I fail to notice or compliment how she looks I soon get pulled up on it!

Wilko · Jan 15, 2019

allystrat said:
Eventually we’ll get to the point when men will no longer ask women out for fear of being accused of sexual harassment. In fact, it’s probably already happening.

Funny you say that as I covered this topic in class today with a group of teens. They collectively came to the conclusion that approaching a women in public to ask her out (in a bar, cafe etc) is unacceptable.

Cadiz Seagull · Jan 15, 2019

Glad I'm now too old for all this malarkey!

(actually, not quite!)

allystrat · Jan 15, 2019

Wilko said:
Funny you say that as I covered this topic in class today with a group of teens. They collectively came to the conclusion that approaching a women in public to ask her out (in a bar, cafe etc) is unacceptable.

Ah well, at least they will have Tinder, so all is not lost....

Wilko · Jan 15, 2019

allystrat said:
Ah well, at least they will have Tinder, so all is not lost....

That is the bit I find odd. Looking up a woman on social media, scanning all her pics, googling her images and asking her out online is FINE. Approaching a woman in a cafe asking if she would like to get a cup of coffee is CREEPY.

Triggaaar · Jan 15, 2019

father_and_son said:
When you aren't wearing any, but normally do..?

That would be odd, but assuming they meant it as a compliment, I imagine I'd be fine with it.

Hamilton said:
What if they were wearing a gimp mask and holding a large truncheon with a nail in it and you were tied to a four poster bed?

I don't think it would be the comment about perfume that bothered me.

Triggaaar · Jan 15, 2019

Wilko said:
Funny you say that as I covered this topic in class today with a group of teens. They collectively came to the conclusion that approaching a women in public to ask her out (in a bar, cafe etc) is unacceptable.

Blimey. But then I guess they don't need to, they just swipe right. Or is swiping right now sexual harassment?

grubbyhands · Jan 15, 2019

4 out of 7. I don't need help either.

Wilko · Jan 15, 2019

Triggaaar said:
Blimey. But then I guess they don't need to, they just swipe right. Or is swiping right now sexual harassment?

No, that is the appropriate way to approach someone, doing it face to face is creepy. Apparently.

sussex_guy2k2 · Jan 15, 2019

Hamilton said:
I don't think so. I compliment men all the time at work, and I've never been accused of harassment.

As an ex-teacher, you'll no doubt support the personal and social education that takes place in schools. Obviously, it's only possible to talk about the realities, and if that relates to the fact that more sexual offences are committed by men against women, then so be it. Unfortunately, men are more responsible for domestic violence too. Men also commit more crime than women. In fact, there's a bit of a trend emerging here.

As to moving on, we are. There is so much more awareness of the issues and poor behaviour, and it's thanks to the work of teachers (like yourself) and emerging role models that society is changing.

A man complimenting a woman is seen as more of a predator yet a woman complimenting a woman happens all the time without any issue...

I do support this. Albeit I wish it was done differently. I appreciate that men commit more of the crimes that you've stated than women; I do however think there are a lot of extenuating circumstances that simply don't get mentioned in regards to this and the statistics, and much of that is to do with stereotypical gender roles and how they play out in issues of domestic violence, sexual offences etc.

What I would like to actually see is an education system that empowers women. But to do that, we have to stop teaching them that they're victims. We have to start encouraging communication between the genders and stop putting the blame on to men from an early age/stop telling women that they're the victims/the weaker gender - if you're consistently telling someone that they're a predator, then it's far more likely they'll end up being a predator in comparison to the person that you're educating to be a victim. Obviously, this would be a massive shift in what is currently happening, but if we're serious about changing the game properly, then it needs to start in the education system.

Timbo · Jan 15, 2019

Wilko said:
That is the bit I find odd. Looking up a woman on social media, scanning all her pics, googling her images and asking her out online is FINE. Approaching a woman in a cafe asking if she would like to get a cup of coffee is CREEPY.

I guess the fact she's on Tinder means she's giving her consent for men to approach her.

That said, what an absolute load of old bollocks.

Hamilton · Jan 15, 2019

Super Steve Earle said:
Well, er that's not actually remotely true is it.

Well, it sort of remotely is...

The Crime Survey for England and Wales estimated that 20% of women and 4% of men have experienced some type of sexual assault since the age of 16, equivalent to an estimated 3.4 million female victims and 631,000 male victims. That means that 84% of crimes were suffered by women.

Of the crimes suffered by men, fewer than 0.1% of men had experienced rape or assault by penetration. This trend is not the same for women.

By gender, females are most likely to experience sexual assault between the ages of 10-19. For males it is 5-14.

This is all pretty horrifying stuff, and while my "99.999999% of victims" quote was designed to just hammer a point home, the point stills stands - women experience far more cases of sexual harassment and crime than men.

Iggle Piggle · Jan 15, 2019

Wilko said:
That is the bit I find odd. Looking up a woman on social media, scanning all her pics, googling her images and asking her out online is FINE. Approaching a woman in a cafe asking if she would like to get a cup of coffee is CREEPY.

My flabber is gasted. Asking a girl out in a coffee shop is both ballsey and a Hollywood staple in a rom com. I find it bizarre that online dating is now considered absolutely fine - given that a few years back there was a massive stigma associated with it - and our imaginery Tom Hanks style, latte drinking, character is now considered a bit of a weirdo.

Are we are danger of having a social awkward tech generation or am I over thinking this?

Wilko · Jan 15, 2019

Iggle Piggle said:
My flabber is gasted. Asking a girl out in a coffee shop is both ballsey and a Hollywood staple in a rom com. I find it bizarre that online dating is now considered absolutely fine - given that a few years back there was a massive stigma associated with it - and our imaginery Tom Hanks style, latte drinking, character is now considered a bit of a weirdo.

Are we are danger of having a social awkward tech generation or am I over thinking this?

As previously mentioned, if you match with a woman on tinder she has contributed to the 2 way consent of attraction. If you approach her in a coffee shop she has not. That is the theory btw and not my opinion.

And, yes, I would say we already have a socially awkward tech generation.

father_and_son · Jan 15, 2019

Wilko said:
Funny you say that as I covered this topic in class today with a group of teens. They collectively came to the conclusion that approaching a women in public to ask her out (in a bar, cafe etc) is unacceptable.

A radical, self-imposed solution to the planet's over-population. Nature always finds a way!

Super Steve Earle · Jan 15, 2019

Hamilton said:
Well, it sort of remotely is...

The Crime Survey for England and Wales estimated that 20% of women and 4% of men have experienced some type of sexual assault since the age of 16, equivalent to an estimated 3.4 million female victims and 631,000 male victims. That means that 84% of crimes were suffered by women.

Of the crimes suffered by men, fewer than 0.1% of men had experienced rape or assault by penetration. This trend is not the same for women.

By gender, females are most likely to experience sexual assault between the ages of 10-19. For males it is 5-14.

This is all pretty horrifying stuff, and while my "99.999999% of victims" quote was designed to just hammer a point home, the point stills stands - women experience far more cases of sexual harassment and crime than men.

Well the '99.9999999% of victims' quote didn't hammer it home. It was so obviously bollox!

clapham_gull · Jan 15, 2019

allystrat said:
Eventually we’ll get to the point when men will no longer ask women out for fear of being accused of sexual harassment. In fact, it’s probably already happening.

Hardly because many relationships start at work.

If anyone failed the test you need to crib up. They seemed perfectly obvious to me and I haven't been on an anti descrimination course.

As you get to know people better you know where the line is (I've worked with many completely potty mouth women), but I'd never think it was acceptable to compliment a women's perfume at work.

If you already in potential creep territory, ask a women.

Sent from my BLA-L09 using Tapatalk

Papak · Jan 15, 2019

Stat Brother said:
It's only bantz sweetheart, now be a love and put your knickers back on.

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