[Humour] Joke Du Jour

Hugo Rune

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Feb 23, 2012

21,612

Brighton

• Nov 22, 2018

• #21

I’m interested in the relationship between these two bunnies. The expression ‘mate’, when used in reference to the animal kingdom, implies a sexual relationship and possible breeding. Is mixingmetoasties contagious via sexual intercourse? I’m very concerned about the remaining bunny (and the potential offspring) who should really get themselves to the nearest vet ASAP to get checked out.

OP: Do you have the contact details of this bunny so you can advise them that they are in need of medical help? They might even post on this forum?

 

Juan Albion

Chicken Sniffer 3rd Class

Jul 9, 2003

31,370

Pontypool (Not THAT Pontypool, the one with the zo

• Nov 22, 2018

• #22

No mention of a tip! Tight bunnies.

 

Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!

Jul 7, 2003

6,877

Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!

• Nov 22, 2018

• #23

This is a very sad story. It's heartbreaking when at the end, an animal dies. This has ruined my day.

 

Questions

Habitual User

Oct 18, 2006

24,874

Worthing

• Nov 22, 2018

• #24

Harry Wilson's tackle said:

Two rabbits go into a cafe and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over.
"What do you want? she asks.
"I'll have a cheese toastie" replies the first rabbit.
"**** me, a talking rabbit" said the waitress.

Click to expand...

A rabbit walks into a bar and orders a pint of Guinness.

“Bloody hell”, says the barman, “My mate who owns a circus would definetly give you a job“

“Really”, says the rabbit, “does he need a plasterer then” ?

 

Iggle Piggle

Well-known member

Sep 3, 2010

5,318

• Nov 22, 2018

• #25

2 rabbits have been trapped in a laboratory for all of their lives and make a run for it when someone leaves a door open.

The first field outside is full of tasty carrots which they eat till they can eat no more. The second field is full of female rabbits and the third field has a stream running through it with the freshest mountain water.

Rabbit 1 speaks to his mate to say how much he loves it outside the lab

"I'm going back in" says the other rabbit

"Going back in, are you mad" says rabbit 1 "what on earth for?

"Well" says rabbit 2. "I'm dying for a fag"

 

Grassman

Well-known member

Jun 12, 2008

2,562

Tun Wells

• Nov 22, 2018

• #26

I use to put rabbits on my head, from a distance they looked like hares.*

*More a verbal gag, I guess.

 

Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park

NSC Patron

Apr 5, 2014

23,530

• Nov 22, 2018

• #27

I assume this was pre-2011 as I cannot understand why such articulate bunnys wouldn't have been immunised against myxomatosis.

Given that the disease is spread through contact I'm not sure the second bunny will be with us given his indifference to the risk.

 

Guy Fawkes

The voice of treason

Sep 29, 2007

8,197

• Nov 22, 2018

• #28

Surprised no-ones blamed the rabbit's death on Brer-xit yet

 

Dick Swiveller

Well-known member

Sep 9, 2011

9,155

• Nov 22, 2018

• #29

I genuinely found that funny in 1983 when my mate told it to me. Genuinely, it is that old.

 

ExmouthExile

Well-known member

Feb 11, 2005

1,800

• Nov 23, 2018

• #30

Mixomatosis.... not mixingmetoasties...terrible spelling!