Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

[Help] How do you cope with Stress especially at work?



zeetha

Well-known member
Apr 11, 2011
1,308
I did consider creating an account so I could be anonymous, but they say its good to talk so am going to be brave... Be gentle please NSC!

I work in a small company (there are three of us) and I am pretty much solely responsible for system coding and the servers being up which inevitably leads to a few periods of extreme stress which isn't good for my physical or mental health.

Just wondered what anyone else strategies are for coping with stress (whether at work or not)? And if work related, have you ever approached your boss about it and if so what happened?

I've got a meeting with my boss this afternoon as I finally raised it with him last week. Its only taken me all year to work up the courage!!

*posts and runs away*
 

Wardy's twin

Well-known member
Oct 21, 2014
8,378
I did consider creating an account so I could be anonymous, but they say its good to talk so am going to be brave... Be gentle please NSC!

I work in a small company (there are three of us) and I am pretty much solely responsible for system coding and the servers being up which inevitably leads to a few periods of extreme stress which isn't good for my physical or mental health.

Just wondered what anyone else strategies are for coping with stress (whether at work or not)? And if work related, have you ever approached your boss about it and if so what happened?

I've got a meeting with my boss this afternoon as I finally raised it with him last week. Its only taken me all year to work up the courage!!

*posts and runs away*

There are people who thrive on 'stress' and there are those of us who don't. You mention extreme stress but what does that really mean what physical symptoms do you have. for example a common one is you wake up in the night sweating thinking about an issue. One night might be ok but start doing that more regularly i.e. 2 - 3 a week then you are in a bad place. You need to think this through but my advice is don't just let it continue because the very fact that you have raised this thread means its a problem to you.
 

DJ NOBO

Well-known member
Jul 18, 2004
6,309
Wiltshire
Dont go to your boss with a general whinge, have specific and realistic solutions in mind. If agreed, setbup a follow-up meeting to assess if changes are working.
Keep the conversation concise and to the point. Make sure you put your points in a way that will not come across as an attack on him. Phrase it like you want to help the company.
 

Whitley Bayster

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2011
631
Whitley Bay Tyne and Wear
I run an architects practice of 18 staff. Its a stressful job at the best of times but constant cashflow issues from late payments is the biggest generator of stress for an SME. I find physical exercise is a great way to clear the mind and reset. Doesn't help the cashflow but makes me feel better for a while
 

Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 11, 2003
73,270
West west west Sussex
Don't hide yourself away by posting random nonsense on a t'internet messageboard.

That won't end well for you.
 


TWOCHOICEStom

Well-known member
Sep 22, 2007
10,537
Brighton
I also work in IT which can be hell at times. A lack of control and not being able to focus on one task at a time are, for me, the two most important factors in reducing my stress levels at work.

Talking with your manager is the best way to get a sense of control and hand over some of the responsibility you feel. They can prioritise. Arrange to have daily/weekly meetings where you set out what you will do and don't take on anything more than that. A tool like Trello or blocking out your calendar can really help. Also, GO HOME when you should go home. Everything can wait until tomorrow and nothing is as important as people say it is... (generally speaking)

Try to identify why it is you're feeling this way. Is it too much, too chaotic, too difficult? Maybe they need to hire more people? All of that stuff, your manager can help you with.

Above all, if you start getting physical symptoms like headaches, dizziness or chest pains, go to a doctor!

Hope that helps! :)
 

Munkfish

Well-known member
May 1, 2006
11,860
I would have to say:

1. Talk to your boss and explain that you are struggling with being able to deal with the current work load, I have found when I have done this in the past, I have been told I have been trying to do too much in the first place, Or they have simply extended the deadlines and a weight I had carried around with me for Weeks or Months just lifted off my shoulders, It was so annoying a 15 min chat could have solved weeks and months of stress and anxiaty. So I would suggest that first off.

2. Try to excerise regually, if you dont have time to do this, there is something wrong with your work life balance and you need to try and change this where possible.

3. Make sure you are happy elsewhere in your life, a lot of the time I have put things on work and built it up to be a work issue, but really there was something else going on at home or in my mind at that time and that was the issue that needed fixing.

4. Try not to drink or do drugs, I will always find myself heading towards drink in times of stress, but its much better to talk about it and get it off your chest, Booze might fix the problem short term but it will only come back the next day twice as hard.

5. Dont worry its normal, everyone gets stressed out or will suffer with anxiaty or similar at some point in there life, just try to make it work for you and help yourself.
 

beorhthelm

A. Virgo, Football Genius
Jul 21, 2003
35,239
in my previous role it used to get me down that i couldn't fix things or fear that outages might go wrong. best thing i learnt was to "manage expectations" and risk management, sound like management fluff but very useful for everyone. by setting out risks someone else has to at least acknowledge them and its relief that you are now not entirely responsible. if the risk is too great they need to give you more time, testing, training, preparation, whatever, or they are accepting some of responsibility. so as noted above about bringing solutions, approach it with idea to introduce change managment process and risk assessment to deliver better service and reduce impacts to users.

other than that, eat crisps and talk loudly, put post-its on the fridge, everyone will understand. :)
 
Last edited:


portlock seagull

Why? Why us?
Jul 28, 2003
16,965
You'll discover whether your boss is an ******** or not. If they're the former, my advice would be to find a new job because life really is too short to work with such people. Don't leave it until they grind you down, too late then and you'll possibly have even bigger problems.
 
Feb 23, 2009
22,772
Brighton factually.....
I am a contracts manager for a flooring firm installing the flooring for 9 different sites at present, and just had a call blowing out the work for Thursday/Friday this week and three more houses next week, which need to re scheduled, now I am trying to pull work forward from other sites to create gaps to fit these cancelled plots back in.... Have you ever dealt with site managers !!
Currently in limbo waiting for replies, this happens nearly every bloody day, or stock does not arrive, or fitters disappear occasionally on a bender....

I wish I could deal with my stress American style with an AK47 sometimes....
I can see the appeal
 

Chicken Run

Member Since Jul 2003
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 17, 2003
18,215
Valley of Hangleton
I did consider creating an account so I could be anonymous, but they say its good to talk so am going to be brave... Be gentle please NSC!

I work in a small company (there are three of us) and I am pretty much solely responsible for system coding and the servers being up which inevitably leads to a few periods of extreme stress which isn't good for my physical or mental health.

Just wondered what anyone else strategies are for coping with stress (whether at work or not)? And if work related, have you ever approached your boss about it and if so what happened?

I've got a meeting with my boss this afternoon as I finally raised it with him last week. Its only taken me all year to work up the courage!!

*posts and runs away*

If there are three of you does that mean no. 3 is picking up your’s and the boss’s slack whilst you have the meeting, he/she will be on here next asking the same question
 


Chicken Run

Member Since Jul 2003
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 17, 2003
18,215
Valley of Hangleton
I am a contracts manager for a flooring firm installing the flooring for 9 different sites at present, and just had a call blowing out the work for Thursday/Friday this week and three more houses next week, which need to re scheduled, now I am trying to pull work forward from other sites to create gaps to fit these cancelled plots back in.... Have you ever dealt with site managers !!
Currently in limbo waiting for replies, this happens nearly every bloody day, or stock does not arrive, or fitters disappear occasionally on a bender....

I wish I could deal with my stress American style with an AK47 sometimes....
I can see the appeal

Ah floor fitters, like herding cats when I use to do your job!
 

Blue Valkyrie

Not seen such Bravery!
Sep 1, 2012
32,165
Valhalla
Always remember that work related stresses are short term.

So look back on past work stresses - angry customers, difficult meetings, awkward pay reviews, nasty bosses etc. - and realise they all come and go, and that none of them matter one jot today.
 


The Kid Frankie

New member
Sep 5, 2012
2,082
2. Try to excerise regually, if you dont have time to do this, there is something wrong with your work life balance and you need to try and change this where possible.

This for me is then key and the hardest. Between working, commuting and looking after a littlun - finding an hour a day to exercise is becoming impossible. My waistline is expanding dramatically and we aren't even into the Christmas season yet.
 
Feb 23, 2009
22,772
Brighton factually.....
Ah floor fitters, like herding cats when I use to do your job!

Yeah, tell me about it, I used to be one...

To give you an idea of our fitters nicknames we have
1: Trolley - because he goes where he wants even if you give him an order the jobs need to be done,
2: Four tacks - because that's what we joke he puts in each corner of the room.
3: Dozzy - because he once coming back from a job in Birmingham pulled over on the M25 hard shoulder for a nap, because he was tired and police woke him up.
 

RandyWanger

Je suis rôti de boeuf
Mar 14, 2013
5,992
Done a Frexit, now in London
I work in IT too, here is how I deal with the s**t that comes my way.

Swear out loud, excuse myself and head into the basement where I have old broken IT kit waiting disposal, put on Limp Bizkit's song "break stuff" and smash up a few computers. Go get a coffee, wander back to my desk and get on with it.
 

AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,711
Ruislip
I did consider creating an account so I could be anonymous, but they say its good to talk so am going to be brave... Be gentle please NSC!

I work in a small company (there are three of us) and I am pretty much solely responsible for system coding and the servers being up which inevitably leads to a few periods of extreme stress which isn't good for my physical or mental health.

Just wondered what anyone else strategies are for coping with stress (whether at work or not)? And if work related, have you ever approached your boss about it and if so what happened?

I've got a meeting with my boss this afternoon as I finally raised it with him last week. Its only taken me all year to work up the courage!!

*posts and runs away*

A good stress relief is music ( obviously not thrash metal) and walking (exercise).
As your company is small and doesn't have any occupational health type support, speak to your docs or any local health authority that has independent stress councillor's.
Good luck:thumbsup:
 


Giraffe

VERY part time moderator
Helpful Moderator
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Aug 8, 2005
26,421
I did consider creating an account so I could be anonymous, but they say its good to talk so am going to be brave... Be gentle please NSC!

I work in a small company (there are three of us) and I am pretty much solely responsible for system coding and the servers being up which inevitably leads to a few periods of extreme stress which isn't good for my physical or mental health.

Just wondered what anyone else strategies are for coping with stress (whether at work or not)? And if work related, have you ever approached your boss about it and if so what happened?

I've got a meeting with my boss this afternoon as I finally raised it with him last week. Its only taken me all year to work up the courage!!

*posts and runs away*

You have all of my sympathies. I have from time to time suffered immense stress at work and out of work and have found it very difficult to cope with.

I would say try and realise that life is too short to worry about work and find something that guarantees to de-stress you like gardening etc, but I guess you are talking about how to deal with it at the time? The best way to help is to talk to others about how you are feeling it. I guess in a small firm they can't help much but it might still help you to share the burden of worry. Also in extreme stress moment, just take a walk, get some exercise and fresh air. You'll be amazed how often when you come the back the perceived problem that is causing the stress is not so bad.

Also try and do the right stuff to make sure you sleep well. Don't eat late, don't drink as much, don't spend loads of time on your phone. This will help build up your coping mechanisms.

Finally list tasks, and don't expect to complete them always. This gives a visual representation of what needs to be achieved and with an acceptance that not all can be done helps remove stress.
 

Deportivo Seagull

I should coco
Jul 22, 2003
4,861
Mid Sussex
Firstly, as has been pointed previously physical exercise is really good at addressing stress.
Secondly, I would keep away from alcohol when the stress levels go up.
 

Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports

Paying the bills

Latest Discussions

Paying the bills

Paying the bills

Paying the bills


Top
Link Here