[Other Sport] Swimming pool annoying things

cuthbert · Aug 8, 2018

I have been both a lifeguard and swimming pool manager and here are some of the things that annoy me.
Customers who refuse to shower before getting into the pool, particularly those who arrive with their costume under their outdoor clothes, often sweaty from riding a bike.
Men who wear beach shorts with paper tissues in the pockets, which find their way into the pool water. Buy trunks you halfwits, you'll swim quicker too.
Customers who ask the lifeguard to fetch them a float, I can't leave poolside!!
Customers who leave their children floating in armbands in the shallow end and swim off to the deep end.
People who leave empty shower gel or shampoo bottles on the floor, we do have bins.
When a WC is out of order and the locked cubicle door has a notice on it, people who climb over the door for a dump
Parents watching swimming lessons who call out to their children, the child's head then raises and they are then in the wrong position to swim.

banjo · Aug 8, 2018

crodonilson said:
This thread is very apt considering it was only Monday I signed up for a membership and Lyme Regis Municipal Swimming Baths. I went this morning for my first pre-work swim and the place was heaving. I was dissapointed this below sign was no longer clearly displayed meaning the local hoodlums can get away with pretty much anything they like now, and particularly when an elderly couple in their 60's exchanged a kiss as they left the pool area.

I always thought it would be hard to swim and smoke.

middletoenail · Aug 8, 2018

cuthbert said:
Men who wear beach shorts with paper tissues in the pockets, which find their way into the pool water. Buy trunks you halfwits, you'll swim quicker too.

Trunks, do you mean 'speedo' style Y-fronts?

sussex_guy2k2 · Aug 8, 2018

Iggle Piggle said:
Yes, I'm training for a 10K swim. Luckily, most of the swimming I do is outdoor or at a Masters session but it is incredibly annoying that you can't have a proper pool swim sometimes because people are in the wrong lane or are just being plain rude. Imagine training for a run where you couldn't go past someone half as slow as you or a bike ride where you were stuck forever behind a kid in 1st gear with no ability to overtake? That and only having an hour window in the pool in any given day where you could realistically train.

A well lifeguarded pool creates a better session for everyone.

The problem with this stuff is it's all relative. I'm a pretty decent swimmer, albeit a bit out of practice. When I first joined a gym 2 and a half years ago, I would swim 2-3 days a week for some cardio. On some occasions the pool was empty and at others it was full. On one particular day I'd been in the pool swimming non-stop for 15 minutes in the fast lane when a guy who fancied himself as the next Adam Peaty got in. Obviously I'd been in the gym prior to the pool, and then swum for 15 minutes so I have a breather at the end of the pool.

Needless to say, the guy after two lengths stopped and had a go at me for taking up too much space (which is rubbish by the way) and told me to go relax somewhere else. I calmly explained the situation and told him where to go shove his fingers before commencing my swim again. Now he was quicker than me, whether that's because he just was or because he was fresher, but I wasn't exactly slowing him down, yet after 5 more minutes of swimming he swam past me to overtake, whacked me as he passed me whilst doing front crawl and then stopped and started shouting again.

So whilst I understand your reasoning, I actually think you probably need to see the other side of the coin and remember that the other people a) have as much right to be there as you, b) they're unlikely to be actively trying to annoy you unless you act like a grade A a**, and c) different peoples' relative abilities probably can't be accurately split into what may be 2/3/4 speed lanes with any real accuracy, so getting worked up about it isn't going to help anyone.

mejonaNO12 aka riskit · Aug 8, 2018

I'm a quick swimmer (ooh, humble brag) but I get WELL PUFFED OUT so need rests quite frequently.

I lane jump ALL THE TIME. I'll do my 6 or 8 lengths or whatever, and then move if the other lane is clear as to avoid being someone who just hangs around in the fast lane.

I have tried swimming in the middle lane but it's just too slow. I'm sure im breaking etiquette.

This morning I had two club swimmers doing butterfly sets right down the middle of the fast lane. Selfish. I just sat there waiting as there was no way I was going to get FISTED in the face. No one wants that first thing on a Wednesday.

deletebeepbeepbeep · Aug 8, 2018

That reminds me of another thing, a few older larger men wearing white almost see through swimming trunks.

They know what they are doing.

Also in prince regent once the person in the urinal next to me started masturbating and I had to report him.

So horny older blocks in swimming pools are also the worst things about them.

Two Professors · Aug 8, 2018

Big shout out to Kevin from Croydon,on holiday in Roquetas de Mar about 10 years ago,with his future in-laws.German chap built like the Hindenburg used to do his 25 lengths every day,something akin to a giant iceberg.Kev always dived in front of him,across the pool,causing huge rows and hysterical laughter.Great holiday,hope he's not a Palarse supporter!

cuthbert · Aug 8, 2018

middletoenail said:
Trunks, do you mean 'speedo' style Y-fronts?

To me Y-fronts are underpants, Speedo (other makes are available) sell several styles of suitable pool wear, ranging from Budgie smugglers to modern training gear with quite long legs. I object to shorts which are not tight on the leg and have pockets. What is worn in the pool should not be something you would normally wear in the street. French lifeguards are very strict on this.

nwgull · Aug 8, 2018

Barham's tash said:
Should have titled the tread Bell Cheeses in the pool but otherwise agree with most of the sentiments.

There’s no point labelling lanes slow/medium/fast because people are inherently shit at deciding their pace and you always get road blocks.

What I hate more than anything are the people with poor front crawl technique who splash everyone indiscriminately ignoring the fact they’re creating a worse wake than the QE2.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have no issue with people with crap front crawl tekkers; that was me 6-7 years ago before I managed to develop a reasonably efficicient technique over time. Anyone that has taken up swimming or triathlon as an adult has no options but to start out being crap.

Pretty much agree with the rest of the stuff though. My current gym/pool has a very odd culture of people insisting on swimming up and down the same side of the lane instead of circular swimming, meaning that you can only have 2 people max swmming in each of the 3 marked lanes. Thankfully the membership includes weekly adult coached sessions which is devoid of such bell-cheesery.

Iggle Piggle · Aug 8, 2018

sussex_guy2k2 said:
The problem with this stuff is it's all relative. I'm a pretty decent swimmer, albeit a bit out of practice. When I first joined a gym 2 and a half years ago, I would swim 2-3 days a week for some cardio. On some occasions the pool was empty and at others it was full. On one particular day I'd been in the pool swimming non-stop for 15 minutes in the fast lane when a guy who fancied himself as the next Adam Peaty got in. Obviously I'd been in the gym prior to the pool, and then swum for 15 minutes so I have a breather at the end of the pool.

Needless to say, the guy after two lengths stopped and had a go at me for taking up too much space (which is rubbish by the way) and told me to go relax somewhere else. I calmly explained the situation and told him where to go shove his fingers before commencing my swim again. Now he was quicker than me, whether that's because he just was or because he was fresher, but I wasn't exactly slowing him down, yet after 5 more minutes of swimming he swam past me to overtake, whacked me as he passed me whilst doing front crawl and then stopped and started shouting again.

So whilst I understand your reasoning, I actually think you probably need to see the other side of the coin and remember that the other people a) have as much right to be there as you, b) they're unlikely to be actively trying to annoy you unless you act like a grade A a**, and c) different peoples' relative abilities probably can't be accurately split into what may be 2/3/4 speed lanes with any real accuracy, so getting worked up about it isn't going to help anyone.

I absolutely get that everyone has as much right to be in the pool as much as anyone else and if I turn up at peak time to try and swim at full pace I'll be setting myself up for disappointment. I also understand that there are plenty of bell cheeses who think they are Adam Peaty and are as irritating, if not more so, than Doris Breaststroke if they are a cock about it. There is only so much space in the pool and everyone has to realise that. Where I'd disagree with you is the people who don't wait at the end and aren't considerate of those around them. Surely it is not difficult to realise you shouldn't be in the fast lane doing breaststroke, swim in front of those quicker than you and refuse to move Lanes when you are politely asked to do so? Equally, it's not that hard for the lifeguard to police. I've done lifeguarding and there is little, if any, rescuing to ever do, so the odd admonishing for incorrect lane swimming gives something to do (The only other job more boring is saying 'Go' at the top of a water slide).

Getting out the way at the ends is all most of us ask.

Driver8 · Aug 8, 2018

Blimey, reading this thread I’m glad I can’t swim! (Beyond just about staying afloat anyhow).

Pantani · Aug 8, 2018

In most Australian pools lanes are divided properly. Including the clear message of what lanes you cannot do breaststroke in. Which is nice for someone like me who is a relatively fast breaststroker but proper terrible at front crawl. Though virtually the whole pool will be divided in Aussie pools, as they have understood that floating around doing **** all is pointless.

Nathan · Aug 8, 2018

Driver8 said:
Blimey, reading this thread I’m glad I can’t swim! (Beyond just about staying afloat anyhow).

You should give it a go for a laugh. Would recommend peak time in the fast lane for extra giggles.

Barham's tash · Aug 8, 2018

Iggle Piggle said:
Sorry, have to disagree here :

- Lanes absolutely have to be graded. If Doris breaststroke is holding up the fast lane, she should be asked to move lanes by a lifeguard who is watching what is going on (and then drowned if she refuses to move with all life insurance benefits cancelled). There will be blocks and people need to be realistic if it is busy but 6 people should easily fit in a 25m, 2 man lane if people are aware of quicker people around them and are reasonably evenly paced.
- Front crawl will create a bit of wash and splash unless there are decent wave breakers in the pool which there rarely are nothwithstanding the really bad technique which causes all sorts of splash.

As for the Butterfly moan by [MENTION=36353]schmunk[/MENTION] it is a very useful tool to rid people from the pool if you really have had enough. Personally, I only tend to swim it with a clear lane or at a master session. That or I've really got the hump with Lane discipline, end huggers and fast lane breaststrokers.

Ah so you're one of THOSE swimming pool bell cheeses are you?! :banana:

TBF I don't suffer particularly with either issue as my gym pool tends to be devoid of anything other than fat second generation Indians who's gym time consists of doing one or two lengths of walking rather briskly in the slow lane then wallowing in the jacuzzi for about two hours.

nwgull said:
I have no issue with people with crap front crawl tekkers; that was me 6-7 years ago before I managed to develop a reasonably efficicient technique over time. Anyone that has taken up swimming or triathlon as an adult has no options but to start out being crap.

Pretty much agree with the rest of the stuff though. My current gym/pool has a very odd culture of people insisting on swimming up and down the same side of the lane instead of circular swimming, meaning that you can only have 2 people max swmming in each of the 3 marked lanes. Thankfully the membership includes weekly adult coached sessions which is devoid of such bell-cheesery.

That's incredibly bizarre lane etiquette and have never heard of the like before! I keep meaning to up my game technique wise, i'm too self conscious of my poor front crawl technique and the associated breathing difficulties it gives me after four lengths so only ever do fast breaststroke combined with backstroke every fifth length, swimming a total of 25 to 30 lengths at a time as my warm down from the gym.

I should look into the adult only training sessions.

Live by the sea · Aug 8, 2018

Thinking of going for planning to put one in the garden. But been quoted £65,000 to get one properly installed including all the ground work with a mid level tiles finish. Might have to continue going to wickwoods !

Is it PotG? · Aug 8, 2018

...and then matey creeps up behind you

Bold Seagull · Aug 8, 2018

Live by the sea said:
Thinking of going for planning to put one in the garden. But been quoted £65,000 to get one properly installed including all the ground work with a mid level tiles finish. Might have to continue going to wickwoods !

In most cases a pool and even pool house is permitted development that doesn't require planning permission. If you go for a liner rather than tiles, you can get one done for a fraction of that cost.

Icy Gull · Aug 8, 2018

Blimey anyone would think these plebs were in your private pool not a public one

Live by the sea · Aug 8, 2018

Bold Seagull said:
In most cases a pool and even pool house is permitted development that doesn't require planning permission. If you go for a liner rather than tiles, you can get one done for a fraction of that cost.

Thanks. Been told by a couple of people I know that have pools in their garden that basic blue lined pools don't last and in the long run end up costing more money to maintain and keep redoing.

Stat Brother · Aug 8, 2018

I truly don't see the point of your own swimming pool.

Sure 3 heltaskelter slides a plunge pool, wave machine, rapids and divingboards, count me in.
But a giant bath, what's the point :shrug:

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