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  1. #1
    Stupid IDIOT Ernest's Avatar
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    *BURSTING someones BALLOON*


    13 Not allowed!
    A funny THING happened to BIG Hilda a FEW days ago, she got on the Number 6 at George STREET in a HUFF as I wouldn't BUY her a FULL English and sat next to a STRANGE old man. He said his NAME was Harry and he BLUE up BALLOONS for KIDS parties and things and he had a BAG of them with him. Hilda did her best to IGNORE him but he was persistent and said he didn't like her IGNORING him and he would never IGNORE anyone.

    Anyway by the TIME they got to WISH Road he was ASKING her if she wanted her to SEE his POODLE made up of BALLOONS ? He then said he had a REALLY long balloon and DID she want to FEEL it ? He obviously didn't KNOW her as she went BALLISTIC and BURST every BALLOON he had as well as CHINNING him and he started shouting saying some little KIDS party had been RUINED as there were no balloons left now and they would CANCEL the party.

    The bus driver kicked them both off at Boundary Road and the WEIRD fellow fled into PORTSALDE but not after he dropped a BUSINESS card saying 'HARRY will TACKLE - balloon FUN and GAMES for PARTIES'. So if anyone has had to cancel a party because of NO balloons then BLAME this weirdo and if I were you then I'd SUE him.

    It just goes to SHOW you never know who is BLOWING up BALLOONS these days.

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    • #2
      Members dazzer6666's Avatar
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      0 Not allowed!
      Distinctly average. 4/10.
      "Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts"
    • #3
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      1 Not allowed!
      Even more full of hot air than usual.
      "To be honest, I was holding out just for Brighton really. This is where I wanted to be."
      - Bobby Zamora, Tuesday 4th August 2015
      "It does not matter what league you are in, the goalposts don't move."
      - Glenn Murray, Sunday 4th March 2018
    • #4
      Sanity Clause vegster's Avatar
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      1 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by hart's shirt View Post
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      Even more full of hot air than usual.
      But still not enough to inflate the Trump Blimp
      I had run 17 miles from Grayshades before the school leopard caught me.....

      " Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom "
      Terry Pratchett 1948 – 2015
    • #5
      Harry Wilson's Tackle Harry Wilson's tackle's Avatar
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      1 Not allowed!
      Having posted what I posted, of course I had to temporarily unblock.

      Oh dear. You have to keep focused on your target when you mock. You can't mock the OP and me at the same time, it just turns into a dog's dinner.

      Don't allow malice to interfere with comedy, my old fruit.

      And....

      Reblocked.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0Q93v7hGZA

      Premier League : Brighton, le club le plus cool d'Angleterre
    • #6

      1 Not allowed!
      Unrest, with a thread title like that, you let yourself down.
      This is what caused the delay. “Can you sign this Paul?” - 80 minutes later Barber finished his reply. (Herr Tubbs)
    • #7
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      1 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by Ernest View Post
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      A funny THING happened to BIG Hilda a FEW days ago, she got on the Number 6 at George STREET in a HUFF as I wouldn't BUY her a FULL English and sat next to a STRANGE old man. He said his NAME was Harry and he BLUE up BALLOONS for KIDS parties and things and he had a BAG of them with him. Hilda did her best to IGNORE him but he was persistent and said he didn't like her IGNORING him and he would never IGNORE anyone.

      Anyway by the TIME they got to WISH Road he was ASKING her if she wanted her to SEE his POODLE made up of BALLOONS ? He then said he had a REALLY long balloon and DID she want to FEEL it ? He obviously didn't KNOW her as she went BALLISTIC and BURST every BALLOON he had as well as CHINNING him and he started shouting saying some little KIDS party had been RUINED as there were no balloons left now and they would CANCEL the party.

      The bus driver kicked them both off at Boundary Road and the WEIRD fellow fled into PORTSALDE but not after he dropped a BUSINESS card saying 'HARRY will TACKLE - balloon FUN and GAMES for PARTIES'. So if anyone has had to cancel a party because of NO balloons then BLAME this weirdo and if I were you then I'd SUE him.

      It just goes to SHOW you never know who is BLOWING up BALLOONS these days.
      Yawn.
    • #8
      Members Commander's Avatar
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      I remember the good old days when Ernest’s rants were funny, and sometimes clever.
      "I am repeatedly a fan of his braggish self-assurance. No point, that I can remember, has he ever been foolish or incorrect. All based on scientific, biblical fact. He's a vivid sermoniser whose halo sometimes burns those who dare to question."
    • #9
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      Quote Originally Posted by Commander View Post
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      I remember the good old days when Ernest’s rants were funny, and sometimes clever.
      i don't.
    • #10
      Stupid IDIOT Ernest's Avatar
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      8 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by Normal Rob View Post
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      i don't.
      Neither do I

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