Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Not ideal. But would that not have been possible to carry out yourself ?
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[Travel] The worst hotel you've ever stayed in
- Thread starter shingle
- Start date
Not ideal. But would that not have been possible to carry out yourself ?
jackalbion
Well-known member
- Aug 30, 2011
- 4,022
clapham_gull
Legacy Fan
- Aug 20, 2003
- 25,306
I was only young to be honest and it my first job.
In my defence it wasn't a case of "what would Elvis Presley do ?" but more I'd better ring reception because traffic cones don't belong in bedrooms.
Oddly the room had been cleaned as well.
Looking back it was obviously a security services recruitment test which I failed miserably.
The Wookiee
Back From The Dead
The Hope Hotel - Southend seafront early 2000’s
happypig
Staring at the rude boys
1984. Cardiff. Went on a training course and, at the time, you could claim £30 a night lodging allowance;. When you got the course details you also got a list of B&Bs and most people booked the cheapest so you had a few quid to spend on beer. I found one for £8 a night staying with a Mrs Williams. Not saying she was old but she'd probably been in her prime during the war (although which one...).
Her house was like something you see in those "living museums" in Birmingham & Newcastle, coal fires, 2 watt light bulbs etc.
Mrs Williams was about three feet high and greeted me with "I don't allow women in the house and I lock the door at eleven."
After tea of a quarter of a tin of salmon, two potatos and a lettuce leaf I went to the pub.
Came out of the pub when it shut at ten-thirty, went back to my room and found a bloke asleep in the other bed.
Next day I found somewhere a bit more expensive.
Her house was like something you see in those "living museums" in Birmingham & Newcastle, coal fires, 2 watt light bulbs etc.
Mrs Williams was about three feet high and greeted me with "I don't allow women in the house and I lock the door at eleven."
After tea of a quarter of a tin of salmon, two potatos and a lettuce leaf I went to the pub.
Came out of the pub when it shut at ten-thirty, went back to my room and found a bloke asleep in the other bed.
Next day I found somewhere a bit more expensive.
cheshunt seagull
Well-known member
- Jul 5, 2003
- 2,496
There are a couple of contenders.
- One near Jardin Des Plantes in Paris 5 years ago which was chosen by our French business hosts. Sheets damp, shower jet came out sideways, heating broken so you had to put on more clothes to got to bed. Cheap cardboard 'wall' meant that I heard every element of my flatulent neighbour's morning ablutions. It was also quite expensive. Trip Advisor called it charmingly bohemian.
- I was touring with my parents in 1971 in empty northern Michigan and it was getting late so we were relieved to see huge signs for 'The Candlelight Inn; Color TV with Pool.' 3 run-down wooden chalets tacked on to a redneck bar with a rusty round tub (the pool) that backed on to a creepy abandoned fairground. Would be a great film set.
- One near Jardin Des Plantes in Paris 5 years ago which was chosen by our French business hosts. Sheets damp, shower jet came out sideways, heating broken so you had to put on more clothes to got to bed. Cheap cardboard 'wall' meant that I heard every element of my flatulent neighbour's morning ablutions. It was also quite expensive. Trip Advisor called it charmingly bohemian.
- I was touring with my parents in 1971 in empty northern Michigan and it was getting late so we were relieved to see huge signs for 'The Candlelight Inn; Color TV with Pool.' 3 run-down wooden chalets tacked on to a redneck bar with a rusty round tub (the pool) that backed on to a creepy abandoned fairground. Would be a great film set.
DavidRyder
Well-known member
- Jul 23, 2013
- 2,885
Nooo, I won't have that. There's a place in Eastbourne...
This is nearby-ish. http://www.cervezaibosim.com/en/beers/
If you’re there tail end July early Aug I’ll even buy you a pint
Normanton Park Hotel Croydon , I haven't stayed there but spent a day working as a contractor resulting in the theft of a expensive item of equipment .
Check out the reviews of this establishment here :-
https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel...ark_Hotel-Croydon_Greater_London_England.html
Check out the reviews of this establishment here :-
https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel...ark_Hotel-Croydon_Greater_London_England.html
The Sussex Hotel in Bexhill, booked into stay the night before a wedding. On arriving i was met by some very loud Kareoke in the downstairs bar, went up to the desk to check in and was asked to sign a blank piece of paper to confirm my stay.
Went up to the room and was met by the worlds oldest bed and sheets that didnt look like they had ever been changed. Kareoke went on till 3am including a local singing who had no teeth.
On heading down for breakfast in the morning, the staff were wearing the same clothes from the night before and plonked a plate in front of me that consisted of beans and a piece of bacon that looked like it had been regurgitated by a previous occupant.
Some interesting reviews here: https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel...Hotel-Bexhill_on_Sea_East_Sussex_England.html
Went up to the room and was met by the worlds oldest bed and sheets that didnt look like they had ever been changed. Kareoke went on till 3am including a local singing who had no teeth.
On heading down for breakfast in the morning, the staff were wearing the same clothes from the night before and plonked a plate in front of me that consisted of beans and a piece of bacon that looked like it had been regurgitated by a previous occupant.
Some interesting reviews here: https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel...Hotel-Bexhill_on_Sea_East_Sussex_England.html
The Leaking Boot - Grimsby....stayed there for the end of season (2003?) game vs Grimsby. It was like a 3rd world country and don't ask me about the state of the shared (between maybe 10 rooms!!) toilet when I needed a dump after the so-called breakfast!!!
pearl
Well-known member
two come to mind
room above a pub in Darlington, 40 watt bulb and sticky lino on the floor, breakfast included the smallest fried egg I've ever seen.
A hotel in Tarbes (France), overnight stay between trains. Kept awake all night by very drunk French men in the downstairs bar. Shared bog was so cramped when I sat on it my knees pushed the door open! (I'm 5ft 3)
room above a pub in Darlington, 40 watt bulb and sticky lino on the floor, breakfast included the smallest fried egg I've ever seen.
A hotel in Tarbes (France), overnight stay between trains. Kept awake all night by very drunk French men in the downstairs bar. Shared bog was so cramped when I sat on it my knees pushed the door open! (I'm 5ft 3)
MattBackHome
Well-known member
- Jul 7, 2003
- 11,723
Somewhere in Ao Nang. Literal hell.
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
The Sun Gezgin, Marmaris, Turkey.
The "pool" was about the size of a snooker table, filled with green murky water. Nobody went in it. Ever. In the evenings, they'd put a wooden cover over it and arrange some tables and chairs on the top, as there was barely any more room there for anyone to sit outside. Some of the staff slept outdoors on a moth-eaten sofa at the back of the hotel outside the kitchen. The lift was so small, crushingly slow, ancient and rickety (one of those ones you pull the cage across on). You couldn't fit more than 4 people inside, or no more than 2 with 1 suitcase. Which meant various return journies just to get your luggage upstairs. The room was utter shithouse, stained walls and ceilings, cracked tiles in the bathroom, randomly intermittent hot water.
All that on top of the fact that I hate hate HATED Marmaris with a passion. Its basically a giant West Street, stuffed to the rafters with swivel-eyed heavily tattooed goons, slags, yobbos, cretins, wastrels all lurching around day and night pissed as farts and off their tits on ketamine. I could not get away from the place quick enough. The missus dropped us into the middle of this living nightmare because the (photoshopped) pics of the hotel right on the beachfront looked nice, she thought. Thats the last time I've EVER lazily just left a booking to her with an "I don't mind love, just somewhere hot".
With the Sun Gezgin at the epicentre of a strategic strike, they should just napalm that entire hellhole out of existence and start again.
The "pool" was about the size of a snooker table, filled with green murky water. Nobody went in it. Ever. In the evenings, they'd put a wooden cover over it and arrange some tables and chairs on the top, as there was barely any more room there for anyone to sit outside. Some of the staff slept outdoors on a moth-eaten sofa at the back of the hotel outside the kitchen. The lift was so small, crushingly slow, ancient and rickety (one of those ones you pull the cage across on). You couldn't fit more than 4 people inside, or no more than 2 with 1 suitcase. Which meant various return journies just to get your luggage upstairs. The room was utter shithouse, stained walls and ceilings, cracked tiles in the bathroom, randomly intermittent hot water.
All that on top of the fact that I hate hate HATED Marmaris with a passion. Its basically a giant West Street, stuffed to the rafters with swivel-eyed heavily tattooed goons, slags, yobbos, cretins, wastrels all lurching around day and night pissed as farts and off their tits on ketamine. I could not get away from the place quick enough. The missus dropped us into the middle of this living nightmare because the (photoshopped) pics of the hotel right on the beachfront looked nice, she thought. Thats the last time I've EVER lazily just left a booking to her with an "I don't mind love, just somewhere hot".
With the Sun Gezgin at the epicentre of a strategic strike, they should just napalm that entire hellhole out of existence and start again.
Lower West Stander
Well-known member
A couple spring to mind but for different reasons.
A few years ago I went on an analyst trip to China and we stayed in a hotel on the waterfront at Yantai. Looked ok and the rooms were good with a decent view.
It was only when went down to dinner we discovered the place was just a massive knocking shop. When we sat down, no one could understand why we’re all a space apart from each other at the table. After about ten minutes a bunch of attractive ladies walked in and sat in the empty seats. They were dressed “provocatively” and proceeded to laugh at everything we said and were overly tactile to say the least. After we had eaten they all followed us into the bar and made it very clear what they wanted to happen next.
I’d had enough by this point and went up to my room. Only to discover there were another bunch of them on my floor all dressed in kimonos! Ignored them and went to bed.
Next morning at breakfast we all just looked at each other and said “did that really happen?”. No idea if any of my colleagues took up the offer.
Second one is the Norbreck in Blackpool. Just a shithole occupied by noisy oiks.
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A few years ago I went on an analyst trip to China and we stayed in a hotel on the waterfront at Yantai. Looked ok and the rooms were good with a decent view.
It was only when went down to dinner we discovered the place was just a massive knocking shop. When we sat down, no one could understand why we’re all a space apart from each other at the table. After about ten minutes a bunch of attractive ladies walked in and sat in the empty seats. They were dressed “provocatively” and proceeded to laugh at everything we said and were overly tactile to say the least. After we had eaten they all followed us into the bar and made it very clear what they wanted to happen next.
I’d had enough by this point and went up to my room. Only to discover there were another bunch of them on my floor all dressed in kimonos! Ignored them and went to bed.
Next morning at breakfast we all just looked at each other and said “did that really happen?”. No idea if any of my colleagues took up the offer.
Second one is the Norbreck in Blackpool. Just a shithole occupied by noisy oiks.
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Mate of mine is a Liverpool STH who travels up from London. Three of us (all Brighton) did the weekend up there for our game and we were originally going to meet him up there but he was called away at the last minute. The first bit of advice he gave us on our Whatsapp group was "under NO circumstances stay at the Adelphi. It's an expensive shithole"
Played ex-pat football in Taiwan when I was living over there. There was a tournament every quarter and they were all over the island. The autumn tournamnent one year was in Tainan, a place where, at the time, the girls selling beetle nut from huts on the road went naked after midnight. The players were booked in to a "players hotel" and the coach and his mate booked a 4 star "management hotel". The players hotel called itself Business Mans Hotel in its English translation but was, of course, a knocking shop. As we checked in our hands were scanned for wedding rings and those not wearing one were asked "you want fukky-fukky?".
I went upstairs and while there were free, non-stop adult movies on the default TV channel the shower had seen better days and the bed was only intended for one thing, and that was not sleep. Presumably as some sort of protection for the girls you could also turn on the room lights from the outside. More of that later.
We went out to a few bars including one that was also very obvioiusly a knocking shop, but after 3am everywhere seemed closed (unlike Taipei which is a 24 hours city). Presumably this was why everyone made their own entertainment of a weekend. We got a beer in a 7-11 but drinking it on a street corner wasn't the same so I retired back to the room, to be joined in the lift by a girl wearing a mini skirt and not much else carrying a French Tickler.
I'd just about got to an alcohol induced sleep through next door's moaning when Bolly, our Polish/Irish striker (and there's a combo that makes you mad as a hatter) turned on my room lights from the outside and screamed "WAKE UP YOU F***ING BORING ENGLISH C***, I'M GOING BACK OUT".
The breakfast was so disgusting that there was no one sat down to eat it when I took a look. I wandered over the road to McDonalds to find the whole team ordering Mc Muffins.
We didn't play so well on the Sunday.
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
The Black Coffee Hotel in Chengdu, China. A former bomb shelter, it was built in underground vaulted rooms with no windows and no ventilation. Once inside you lost track of time, and you got periodically concussed by banging your head on the low ceilings. Humidity was around 100%, so everything you owned became permanently damp, and there was always moisture dripping off the mouldy walls. The passage to the communal showers involved walking on loose brick stepping stones across a flooded corridor and side-stepping the breaststroking rats. Once you got to the showers the walls were black with mould, and the shower 'water' was actually super-heated steam that left users with second-degree burns. The toilets were just a communal gutter with no running water where the turds got flushed away with a hose regularly once a day, whether they needed it or not.
I stayed there a week.
In Thailand I nominate the On On Hotel. Part of The Beach was filmed there - it was supposedly the place Leonardo di Caprio stayed in Bangkok, except that it was actually in Phuket Town. Just your standard Asian Chinese hotel (i.e walls that don't meet the floor or ceiling) but the infestation of cockroaches had to be seen to be believed - I'm talking THOUSANDS per room, rather than the odd one or two.
And many such cheap places in Asia double up as short-term brothels as well as hotels and rat, cockroach 'n' bedbug farms. There's nothing like coming back to your room and seeing the manager in the hall, peeking through the keyhole of the room next door, jerking himself off in time to the goings-on he was watching (that was in Baguio in the Philippines - fortunately I forget the name of the hotel).
Stayed in a lovely place in Gorkha, Nepal, where the floors were concrete, the walls bare breezeblocks, and the windows were just holes in the wall, no glass or anything.
I stayed there a week.
In Thailand I nominate the On On Hotel. Part of The Beach was filmed there - it was supposedly the place Leonardo di Caprio stayed in Bangkok, except that it was actually in Phuket Town. Just your standard Asian Chinese hotel (i.e walls that don't meet the floor or ceiling) but the infestation of cockroaches had to be seen to be believed - I'm talking THOUSANDS per room, rather than the odd one or two.
And many such cheap places in Asia double up as short-term brothels as well as hotels and rat, cockroach 'n' bedbug farms. There's nothing like coming back to your room and seeing the manager in the hall, peeking through the keyhole of the room next door, jerking himself off in time to the goings-on he was watching (that was in Baguio in the Philippines - fortunately I forget the name of the hotel).
Stayed in a lovely place in Gorkha, Nepal, where the floors were concrete, the walls bare breezeblocks, and the windows were just holes in the wall, no glass or anything.
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Boroseagull
Well-known member
This year, May in fact - I left a cruise ship at Vancouver harbour and thought 2 nights in the city would be rather pleasant. Well it probably would have been except for a dreadful mistake of booking the Patricia Hotel - East Hastings Street - Vancouver. Struggling with suitcases outside the harbour I asked the very affable Canadians we met where East Hastings Street was - incredulous looks and a forthright 'you really don't want to go there' answer. In the end our party of 4 found a taxi driver to take us (it was only a couple of blocks away), albeit with some reluctance. Approaching the street we soon saw why - the drug ridden, drop out, waster capitol of Canada was before our eyes. Never in all the cities in the world in my life have I seen anything like it before. Filthy, dirty people acting like zombies, pavements filled with dirty rags and cardboard - and our hotel was in this street!
The bouncer let us in, although he did ask why good looking folks like us were staying here - good start. Our room? Well, basic is the word, just about fitted wife & I, but our suitcases needed to be stacked on top of each other. The room shared a wall with the lift shaft, and the lift was operating 24 hrs a day - I'm sure they rented rooms by the hour at night. No air-con and the room stifling. Bathroom? Ha - a shower with a wonderful selection of mould growing, a loo and a sliding door that didn't! The washbasin was in the bedroom. An interesting selection of stains on the wall and the single bedside cabinet, as for the floor carpet we were so glad to have taken the slippers from our cruise cabin!
The only good thing about the place was (as it was unsafe to venture out after dark) they had their own micro brewery pub and the food was reasonably good, a further bonus was Wednesday evening was R & B night and the group were brilliant. But the hotel - YUK!!
2 nights at this hotel seemed a lifetime but a Greyhound bus down to Seattle and a stay of 2 nights at a wonderful hotel near Sea-Tac redressed the situation, as did Seattle - wonderful city!
The bouncer let us in, although he did ask why good looking folks like us were staying here - good start. Our room? Well, basic is the word, just about fitted wife & I, but our suitcases needed to be stacked on top of each other. The room shared a wall with the lift shaft, and the lift was operating 24 hrs a day - I'm sure they rented rooms by the hour at night. No air-con and the room stifling. Bathroom? Ha - a shower with a wonderful selection of mould growing, a loo and a sliding door that didn't! The washbasin was in the bedroom. An interesting selection of stains on the wall and the single bedside cabinet, as for the floor carpet we were so glad to have taken the slippers from our cruise cabin!
The only good thing about the place was (as it was unsafe to venture out after dark) they had their own micro brewery pub and the food was reasonably good, a further bonus was Wednesday evening was R & B night and the group were brilliant. But the hotel - YUK!!
2 nights at this hotel seemed a lifetime but a Greyhound bus down to Seattle and a stay of 2 nights at a wonderful hotel near Sea-Tac redressed the situation, as did Seattle - wonderful city!
God, I thought I had some bad hotel stories, but they pale into utter insignificance compared to some on this thread. 
One of the guys I worked with in Taipei was a big rasta who talked like Ali G (and was also sadly a Palace fan). He'd moved there from a project in Bangkok. His reason? "When you walk to work and you see man eating poontang for breakfast it's time to leave"