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[Brighton] Being called ' Mate'. When is it ok?







Eric Potts

Well-known member
Jul 26, 2004
1,853
Top o' Hanover
This. Especially from some beardo serving me a coffee.

Buddy is invariably from a topknotted beardo serving coffee .However I just think it's quaint .
I have no objections , either , to being called "love , or my lover ", particularly in cider country , or even " duck " ( is that Nottingham way ? , I cant remember ).
There are far more important things to get irate about.
 


Meade's Ball

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,612
Hither (sometimes Thither)
This. Especially from some beardo serving me a coffee.

I usually get it from Aussies, and actually avoid coffee shops which are over-bearded (I think I might set a limit to three beards per room, excluding any beard that might be with me - although I don't know many bearded people). That reminds me, as I work in a job that has me take a few calls per day - up to about 40 if I'm bunged on the phone shift - I also hate being asked how I am by someone who is phoning me to ask a question. What a waste of time. Even I don't care how I am most of the time, and I won't tell them that. So, the worst opening to a call I can get is:
hey, how are things going for you there, buddy?

They've waited 12 minutes to get through, and 17 people are also now waiting - unbeknownst to them in terms of number, but they must be aware that they are not the last call of the day - and we're to witter excessively before getting to the point of anything. Back of the queue they then go again, thanks to a faulty line.
 


Rogero

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2010
5,713
Shoreham
I just got sent a copy of an orthopedic surgeon's letter sent to my GP, that refers to me as 'This young man'. Surgeon is in his early 30s. Coincidentally I tought him a few years ago when he was in med school. I'm 59.

I was quite flattered. :lolol:

Mind you, if he ****s up my knee like the last butcher did, he'll be no mate of mine.

Did you tought him English?
 


alfredmizen

Banned
Mar 11, 2015
6,342
I reckon its a Brighton thing, when I joined the army in the early eighties many didnt quite get it, apart from the fact that the Scottish, Welsh, Irish, West Country, Midlands, Geordies, East anglians etc all thought I was from London.
I no longer live in Brighton and now the word used is fella, its not and neither is mate a first person name but a third person term. Such as tu and vous in French, if it offends anyone, just communicate that to the sender of the term, simples.

Mate a “Brighton thing” ? leave off, it’s universal and not confined to the south either .
 




alfredmizen

Banned
Mar 11, 2015
6,342
Personally the only time I dont think its acceptable is when a parent calls their kid 'mate'. No he/she isnt your 'mate' they are your child and teach them some respect for parents and others. Cannot stand that. Starts there and then you get them treating teachers as mates and then the law and thats a downward spirial from there. Call a lot of people 'mate' I meet but never ever my kids. Love them to bits, but they arent my 'mate', their my kids and that is a lot more to me than a 'mate'.
ive always called my kids mate (2boys) and theyre very respectful.
 


Farehamseagull

Solly March Fan Club
Nov 22, 2007
13,958
Sarisbury Green, Southampton
Never ever use it in a professional/work environment. Use it regularly outside of work but never to women. I really hate it when I hear men call women mate, is that wrong?

When watching Masterchef (yes I'm that exciting) I get really wound up by Greg Wallace continually calling the female contestants mate, I just find it rude. Is that old fashioned?
 


Adders1

Active member
Jan 14, 2013
368
I don't like being called "sir" although I usually call clients older than me "sir" until they tell me otherwise.

I have no objections to "mate" and use it myself. But I totally disagree about "love". Had a female M&S staff member call me "love" and when she did it for the third time I said "sorry. Do I know you?". Having established that we had never met before I had to remind here that "love" was totally inappropriate for somebody you do not know. To which she replied "OK. I won't call you "love" but I'm going to say it to everybody else". Reported to manager who said she had already been warned about the way she was addressing customers.

M&S FFS!

Jesus
 




mothy

Well-known member
Dec 30, 2012
2,104
To the few people who i have called 'mate' to, & who have said 'you are not my mate', i have always offered 'you are a **** then' (c word)
 


getreal1

Active member
Aug 13, 2008
703
Going into a shop, and being called mate or buddy unless you know them isn't on. Professional relationship, Sir or Madam (although I would prefer Sir). I don't usually respond well to use of my Christian name by randoms on the 'phone. Comes with being older gen or something I suppose.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
49,927
Faversham




Buzzer

Languidly Clinical
Oct 1, 2006
26,121
Genuine question - are the people who dislike calling or being referred to as 'mate' from a solid middle-class background? I ask this because it's always been a way that I've referred to both friends and strangers and I'm perfectly happy being called it too. In fact, it's never even occurred to me to think anything of it, let alone take offence.

All the people I know who are from a working-class background tend to say it even if, like me, they're now clearly middle-class whereas after giving it some thought I reckon those who were born middle-class hardly ever seem to use the word. I must confess that I find the idea of people being insulted by it very amusing.
 


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