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[Drinking] Fasten Sealtbelts sign on on a plane - and you really REALLY have to go...



Easy 10

Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
61,750
Location Location
Not pissed myself lately, but I was happily pinching off a length of dirty spine in an airplane cubicle once, when the seatbelt light went on. Had a stewardess rapping on the door saying I had to return to my seat, which was a bloody nuisance and led to a VERY slapdash wipe-up.

I had to go back half an hour later to finish the job properly. Pants were sticking to my arse for the rest of the day. FML.
 




C

Cheeky Monkey

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
23,033
Exile said:
Without wishing to sound like a patronising ****, driving on motorways for SEVEN HOURS, taking no breaks at all is risking not just your own safety, but everyone else's too. The fact that you're deliberately adding dehydration to the fatigue, is the cherry on the cake :thumbsup:
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The 'cherry on the cake' was that I had to get back to Sussex to go straight in on a night shift and I had enough rest sitting in stationary traffic on the M6 and M25 respectively ta. I also had 2 litres of water in the car to drink on the way back.
 


E

Exile

Objective but passionate
Aug 10, 2014
2,367
Cheeky Monkey said:
The 'cherry on the cake' was that I had to get back to Sussex to go straight in on a night shift and I had enough rest sitting in stationary traffic on the M6 and M25 respectively ta. I also had 2 litres of water in the car to drink on the way back.
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We've all been there.
 


P

pearl

Well-known member
May 3, 2016
12,794
Behind My Eyes
Easy 10 said:
Not pissed myself lately, but I was happily pinching off a length of dirty spine in an airplane cubicle once, when the seatbelt light went on. Had a stewardess rapping on the door saying I had to return to my seat, which was a bloody nuisance and led to a VERY slapdash wipe-up.

I had to go back half an hour later to finish the job properly. Pants were sticking to my arse for the rest of the day. FML.
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nice!
 


Triggaaar

Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
50,168
Goldstone
Kalimantan Gull said:
and of course, what with you being the king of not jinxing things and all, I'm bound to have a bad one when I head over from Java to Borneo on Saturday :nono:
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Cool, make sure you video it for us!
 




wellquickwoody

wellquickwoody

Many More Voting Years
NSC Patron
Aug 10, 2007
13,621
Melbourne
On a flight to Spain for the MotoGP (courtesy of Honda) after having had two or three bevvies in the bar earlier. We taxied from the terminal and then sat for around 40 minutes waiting for our slot whilst all this time the seatbelt sign was on. I had asked the air crew at least twice if I could use the loo but to no avail. By this time I was actually in pain holding my bladder contents inside of me. In the end I just undid my belt and legged it to the cubicle being chased by one of the crew, I slammed the door shut and locked it, and proceeded to get rid of the offending beer. I made it back to my seat just as the pilot was increasing thrust and opening whatever flaps required to lift the nose off of the tarmac. The flight crew were not happy!
 




thedonkeycentrehalf

thedonkeycentrehalf

Retired
Jul 7, 2003
8,610
A few years ago I was on a flight back from Orlando with ATA - a US charter airline. I had been asleep for most of the transatlantic flight and woke up just as the seatbelt sign went on - still a good 25 minutes out of Gatwick. I really needed the toilet which was only two rows ahead so went to get up only to have a very stern, stewardess tell me in no uncertain terms to sit back down. I explained I had been asleep for 8 hours and needed the toilet and she told me to stay in my seat. I explained that if I didn't use the toilet, she was going to have to clear up a warm wet puddle. She said that was not her problem and threatened to have me arrested on landing if I got out of my seat again. I asked her to call her superior and the senior stewardess came over to see what the fuss was. I explained the situation and thankfully the senior person agreed that I should be allowed to go to the toilet (much to my relief and also that of my very embarrassed wife).

In contrast, a couple of years ago I was flying business class back from the US with United. I had been in a deep sleep all the way back (NyQuill and Cognac to help me sleep) and was disturbed by the announcement from the pilot that we were about to start our descent into Heathrow. I asked the passing stewardess if it was okay to use the toilet. Not only was this not seen as a problem but she also asked if I would like a glass of orange juice left on my table for when I got back as I had missed the breakfast serving.

Just shows the difference between how you are treated in cattle class and business class.
 






dazzer6666

dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
52,386
Burgess Hill
Kalimantan Gull said:
Having experienced it a couple of times (get some stonking thunderstorms in this part of the world) I get pretty scared in anticipation even at the slightest turbulence. Mentally scarred I reckon :lolol: and I take about 8 flights a month when I'm over here
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Indeed. Plane I was on recently was hit by lightning about an hour from KL. Bloody massive bang and flash of light went right through the cabin. I nearly dropped my red wine.

Have experienced severe turbulence a few times, it’s scary as hell at first. No way the crew will (or should) let you leave your seat - seen luggage flying through the cabin etc and at times it’s like being on a big roller coaster ride.

Had an odd one last week coming back from Germany, plane just ‘bounced’ violently. Pilot told us we’d essentially gone through a vapour trail of another plane that had just gone past......we should have been just above it. Bit of screaming on board.
 


Herr Tubthumper

Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
59,497
The Fatherland
Arthritic Toe said:
I thought that as long as they have made a reasonable (verbal) effort to keep you in your seat with your belt fastened, they have satisfied their liability requirements. If you then get injured whilst defying the instructions, they are not legally responsible. I think that's all they really care about and accept that people will defy the rules if they have no option.
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I was told quite recently (on a flight where this happened) the cabin has to be secure (trays and seats up, everyone seated and belted) for landing. If it isn’t, ie if at any point someone gets up and won’t sit down, the pilot has to be informed and he will abort the landing. Not sure what happens if they simply refuse to sit down though.
 




dazzer6666

dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
52,386
Burgess Hill
Herr Tubthumper said:
I was told quite recently (on a flight where this happened) the cabin has to be secure (trays and seats up, everyone seated and belted) for landing. If it isn’t, ie if at any point someone gets up and won’t sit down, the pilot has to be informed and he will abort the landing. Not sure what happens if they simply refuse to sit down though.
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Heard that too.......just checked with a captain (BA) pal and he confirmed. Crew have to confirm ‘cabin ready’ to the flight deck, which they won’t do unless everyone is seated and belted, no exceptions. No ‘cabin ready’ signal and landing would be aborted as cabin considered not secure.

Edit - also just confirmed that he’d expect the passenger to be arrested on landing as well unless there was a very good reason (going for a slash not being a very good reason)
 
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