[Drinking] Fasten Sealtbelts sign on on a plane - and you really REALLY have to go...

Tom Hark Preston Park · Nov 9, 2017

Prompted by the 'Have You Ever Wet Yourself?' thread...

http://www.northstandchat.com/showthread.php?353980-Have-you-ever-wet-yourself

What's the NSC take on when you're on a plane and the Fasten Seatbelts sign is on and you really REALLY have to go?

Few close calls over the years and eternal in-flight paranoia and constant galley-queue-monitoring,but have never yet crossed the line into that dark and slowly-spreading place. You?

mothy · Nov 9, 2017

You are not allowed to go. I've seen air hostesses blocking the path of people trying to go in turbulence

Tom Hark Preston Park · Nov 9, 2017

mothy said:
You are not allowed to go.

Try telling that to your bladder.

seagully · Nov 9, 2017

I've always wondered this. Say for example you had an attack of the explosive rusty water, would they rather you shat yourself than using the toilet?

Mellotron · Nov 9, 2017

Good question, especially as there are stories around with headlines like "Plane forced to make emergency landing 500 miles from destination due to smelly poo."

Kalimantan Gull · Nov 9, 2017

seagully said:
I've always wondered this. Say for example you had an attack of the explosive rusty water, would they rather you shat yourself than using the toilet?

I'm sure they would rather you shat yourself than died, yes.

Tom Hark Preston Park · Nov 9, 2017

Kalimantan Gull said:
I'm sure they would rather you shat yourself than died, yes.

Wouldn't happen on Ryanair :shit:

seagully · Nov 9, 2017

Kalimantan Gull said:
I'm sure they would rather you shat yourself than died, yes.

What is the actual chance of dying though due to having a shit while the plane is taking off?

HastingsSeagull · Nov 9, 2017

Came extremely close on last long haul I did. Thankfully once on the ground but still taxi-ing I was able to charge in (after holding for 10-15mins) past the accepting stewardess. Certainly felt good. Had been pulling faces since the sign came on from about the 2nd row.

Kalimantan Gull · Nov 9, 2017

seagully said:
What is the actual chance of dying though due to having a shit while the plane is taking off?

I don't know, probably about the same as suddenly and dramatically having to have a shit during that 5 minutes which you had no inclination of 5 minutes earlier :lolol:

Turbulence though, thats a different matter. When you hit bad turbulence, you want to be strapped in. I've seen people go absolutely flying across the plane and once I saw a bloke slammed into the ceiling.

seagully · Nov 9, 2017

Kalimantan Gull said:
I don't know, probably about the same as suddenly and dramatically having to have a shit during that 5 minutes which you had no inclination of 5 minutes earlier

Turbulence though, thats a different matter. When you hit bad turbulence, you want to be strapped in. I've seen people go absolutely flying across the plane and once I saw a bloke slammed into the ceiling.

Fair point! I guess I was thinking more of having to fly with food poisoning or the like and being constantly in and out of the toilet.

Thankfully I've never experienced turbulence quite that bad before!

Tom Hark Preston Park · Nov 9, 2017

Kalimantan Gull said:
Flatulence though, thats a different matter. When you hit bad flatulence, you want to be strapped in. I've seen people go absolutely flying across the plane and once I saw a bloke slammed into the ceiling.

Fixed that for you :thumbsup:

Sorry, yes, you're quite correct, I WILL be disappointed with that childishness :down:

Cheeky Monkey · Nov 9, 2017

A bloke I work with always dehydrates himself hours before doing things like going to the cinema or flying to avoid needing the khazi. I do it in certain situations, driving my daughter up to Manchester a few weeks back, managed the trip back down to Sussex without stopping at Services, which with delays was about a 7 hour journey, and I've got a bladder the size of a baby squirrel. Do it sometimes pre-Amex as well.

Kalimantan Gull · Nov 9, 2017

seagully said:
Thankfully I've never experienced turbulence quite that bad before!

You don't want to..............brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Arthritic Toe · Nov 9, 2017

I thought that as long as they have made a reasonable (verbal) effort to keep you in your seat with your belt fastened, they have satisfied their liability requirements. If you then get injured whilst defying the instructions, they are not legally responsible. I think that's all they really care about and accept that people will defy the rules if they have no option.

Wrong-Direction · Nov 9, 2017

Went on a mates stag do in Prague this summer, hours of drinking in the airport before the flight and stupidly didn't go before getting on the plane..
It was by far the nearest I've come to pissing myself, 2 mates had to stop me from getting up as the plane was climbing, I reckon I was about 10 seconds away from peeing in a sick bag before the lights went off and I legged it faster than Linford Christie to the front of the plane, I'm sure some people thought I was going to storm the cockpit!

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

Triggaaar · Nov 9, 2017

Kalimantan Gull said:
Turbulence though, thats a different matter. When you hit bad turbulence, you want to be strapped in. I've seen people go absolutely flying across the plane and once I saw a bloke slammed into the ceiling.

I've seen video footage of that sort of thing, but never experienced such bad turbulence while on board. I imagine that would be quite scary.

Kalimantan Gull · Nov 9, 2017

Triggaaar said:
I've seen video footage of that sort of thing, but never experienced such bad turbulence while on board. I imagine that would be quite scary.

Having experienced it a couple of times (get some stonking thunderstorms in this part of the world) I get pretty scared in anticipation even at the slightest turbulence. Mentally scarred I reckon :lolol:

and I take about 8 flights a month when I'm over here

Kalimantan Gull · Nov 9, 2017

Triggaaar said:
I've seen video footage of that sort of thing, but never experienced such bad turbulence while on board. I imagine that would be quite scary.

and of course, what with you being the king of not jinxing things and all, I'm bound to have a bad one when I head over from Java to Borneo on Saturday :nono:

Exile · Nov 9, 2017

Cheeky Monkey said:
A bloke I work with always dehydrates himself hours before doing things like going to the cinema or flying to avoid needing the khazi. I do it in certain situations, driving my daughter up to Manchester a few weeks back, managed the trip back down to Sussex without stopping at Services, which with delays was about a 7 hour journey, and I've got a bladder the size of a baby squirrel. Do it sometimes pre-Amex as well.

Without wishing to sound like a patronising ****, driving on motorways for SEVEN HOURS, taking no breaks at all is risking not just your own safety, but everyone else's too. The fact that you're deliberately adding dehydration to the fatigue, is the cherry on the cake :thumbsup:

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[Drinking] Fasten Sealtbelts sign on on a plane - and you really REALLY have to go...

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