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[Misc] What's the longest wee you've ever had?





Petee

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2010
3,031
Brighton
I'm always forgetting my stopwatch so am unable to time it exactly but the one I had this morning went on for a bit
 


GJN1

Well-known member
Nov 4, 2014
1,121
Brighton
I've also had number twos where I've sat down for so long that I get pins and needles in my legs and then keel over when I try to get up...
 


Meade's Ball

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,612
Hither (sometimes Thither)
On the leg of a Canadian, whilst at Reading 2003, or thenabouts. The rain was pouring down, and into a cardboard pint holder did I slash for what seemed like 2 minutes. Unbeknownst to my boozy and slightly druggy head, the holder had not bottom to it, so the Canadian in question was the recipient of this warming cock-gush, from the knee down. I still don't know why he didn't mention it whilst it happened, rather than at the end, as if a stern stare through heavy rainfall would ever be seen or recognised by the mind of the addled.
 








Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
10,869
Crawley
Off the top of a scaffold, about 45ft I reckon.
 


LlcoolJ

Mama said knock you out.
Oct 14, 2009
12,982
Sheffield
On the leg of a Canadian, whilst at Reading 2003, or thenabouts. The rain was pouring down, and into a cardboard pint holder did I slash for what seemed like 2 minutes. Unbeknownst to my boozy and slightly druggy head, the holder had not bottom to it, so the Canadian in question was the recipient of this warming cock-gush, from the knee down. I still don't know why he didn't mention it whilst it happened, rather than at the end, as if a stern stare through heavy rainfall would ever be seen or recognised by the mind of the addled.
This could easily (and amusingly) morph into "strangest place/thing you have pissed on/in". Meade's Ball takes an early lead with pint holder/Canadian's leg. I'm sure I have a few which could challenge that though. I'll have a think....

Incidentally, my wife says (and previous girlfriends have also mentioned) that when I take a piss it sounds as if I'm attempting to drown a small animal such is the force and volume of the evacuation.

I put it down to having a massive cock. Or being a massive cock as some might say.
 








Jesus Gul

Well-known member
Feb 23, 2004
5,464
Wembley Way after a particularly slow tube from Baker Street. Late 1980s poss v Holland. A whole line of gentlemen with the same idea.
 




papajaff

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2005
3,968
Brighton
This actually has more relevance than I would have ever thought. One morning last week, I had to get up around 5am as my bladder was about to burst.

Sat down for a wee (a topic covered once before and something everyone should do; direct aim, relaxing and you get more out) and thought "kin ell, how much longer"? Now wishing I had timed it.

Won't make that mistake twice.
 




GJN1

Well-known member
Nov 4, 2014
1,121
Brighton
This actually has more relevance than I would have ever thought. One morning last week, I had to get up around 5am as my bladder was about to burst.

Sat down for a wee (a topic covered once before and something everyone should do; direct aim, relaxing and you get more out) and thought "kin ell, how much longer"? Now wishing I had timed it.

Won't make that mistake twice.

You live and learn...
 




Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Apr 30, 2013
13,765
Herts
Not sure, but considerably shorter these days than when I was a yoof.

On a somewhat related question I held the school record (at the time) for humming on one continuous breath - 97 seconds. Hyperventilation and diaphragm control is the trick.
 


Pavilionaire

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
30,521
At university coming back on a coach from Edinburgh to Dundee, post-football club revelry in their Union Bar with about 7 pints inside me.

We stopped halfway and it felt like I'd pissed two for the price of one, real horseman stuff.
 




sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,736
town full of eejits
at a new years eve party in sydney me and a pal positioned ourselves on the opposite sides of a planter box which had shrubs up to chest hight , the idea was to watch each others backs and drain into said planter box as the queues for people wishing to powder their noses were absolutely ridiculous and we were both busting so we continued to piss into the shrubbery for what seemed like ages .........upon leaving the cover of the shrubs we discovered to our disbelief and horror that we had pissed all over each other ......there were a reasonable amount of pharmaceuticals involved so we didn't really give a shit , but it was far from ideal.
 




GloryDays

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2011
1,595
Leyton, E10.
Good question. I remember having one that lasted an eternity when I was about 10-12. Good flow etc. Still memorable but couldn't tell you how long it went on for. At around the same age I think I had my longest fart as well. Sadly we'll before the invention of portable cameras and commercially common recording equipment.
 


Eeyore

Lord Donkey of Queen's Park
NSC Patreon
Apr 5, 2014
23,380
at a new years eve party in sydney me and a pal positioned ourselves on the opposite sides of a planter box which had shrubs up to chest hight , the idea was to watch each others backs and drain into said planter box as the queues for people wishing to powder their noses were absolutely ridiculous and we were both busting so we continued to piss into the shrubbery for what seemed like ages .........upon leaving the cover of the shrubs we discovered to our disbelief and horror that we had pissed all over each other ......there were a reasonable amount of pharmaceuticals involved so we didn't really give a shit , but it was far from ideal.

Just another night on the Darlinghurst Road...
 



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