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  1. #1
    Members spongy's Avatar
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    Mental health. Please talk to others.


    39 Not allowed!
    And if someone decides to choose you to talk to then PLEASE listen to them and try to help them.

    I have just left the wake of a friends funeral. He committed suicide on the corner just north of Wivelsfield station two weeks ago.

    He wasn't going through the best of times and we all knew he was struggling with things. There were some (me included) who didn't really realise just how serious the situation was. I wish I had listened more to him.

    I myself have e experienced depression and had very macabre thoughts in my late teens and early twenties of ending my life. But somehow, and I have no idea how or what happened to change my th8nking but I managed to snap myself out of it, maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe it was a strong belief in myself which I didn't know I had, or the guilt that I was worrying friends or family with my own personal actions. Or maybe the vast amount of cocaine and ecstasy that I took to leave and forget the situation I was in but something happened that saved me.

    My friend was going through what I did nearly 20 years ago. Perhaps it's the time passed that has dulled my memory of what I went through. I don't know.

    I should have listened more and seen the signs. I just didn't realise he was that desperate. I thought he would "snap" oht of it just like i did. I feel I failed him in the most inexcusable way and I will never ever forgive myself for being so blaze about it and digging my head in the sand.

    If someone doesn't seem right or their behaviour worries you in any way then please for God's sake please do your best to help.

    I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life knowing I may have been able to do something but ignored it.

    Please don't make the the same mitsake i have. I beg you. Its serious.
    I feel sorry for people who don't drink because when they wake up, that's the best they are going to feel all day.

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    • #2
      Members dazzer6666's Avatar
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      0 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by spongy View Post
      This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
      And if someone decides to choose you to talk to then PLEASE listen to them and try to help them.

      I have just left the wake of a friends funeral. He committed suicide on the corner just north of Wivelsfield station two weeks ago.

      He wasn't going through the best of times and we all knew he was struggling with things. There were some (me included) who didn't really realise just how serious the situation was. I wish I had listened more to him.

      I myself have e experienced depression and had very macabre thoughts in my late teens and early twenties of ending my life. But somehow, and I have no idea how or what happened to change my th8nking but I managed to snap myself out of it, maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe it was a strong belief in myself which I didn't know I had, or the guilt that I was worrying friends or family with my own personal actions. Or maybe the vast amount of cocaine and ecstasy that I took to leave and forget the situation I was in but something happened that saved me.

      My friend was going through what I did nearly 20 years ago. Perhaps it's the time passed that has dulled my memory of what I went through. I don't know.

      I should have listened more and seen the signs. I just didn't realise he was that desperate. I thought he would "snap" oht of it just like i did. I feel I failed him in the most inexcusable way and I will never ever forgive myself for being so blaze about it and digging my head in the sand.

      If someone doesn't seem right or their behaviour worries you in any way then please for God's sake please do your best to help.

      I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life knowing I may have been able to do something but ignored it.

      Please don't make the the same mitsake i have. I beg you. Its serious.
      So sorry about your pal, desperate stuff. A close family member took their own life a couple of years ago - barely a day goes by when I don't think about what we could have done differently, what we should have recognised etc.
      "Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts"
    • #3
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      2 Not allowed!
      Sorry to hear that.
      We are going through major mental health problems with my sister in law at present. She did go into a private hospital for a few weeks but was useless and a rip off.
      So we are all doing our best, together with her psychiatrist, to get her back together. Could be a very long journey.
    • #4
      Two Mad Professors Two Professors's Avatar
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      0 Not allowed!
      Sorry to hear of your loss.Mental health definitely needs a massive investment from somewhere.It seems to be getting worse,particularly in the South-East.
      'But above all,at the heart of Corbin's cake policy,is that you have a right to eat someone else's'.
    • #5
      Members Tim Over Whelmed's Avatar
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      4 Not allowed!
      Try not to be too hard on yourself, as you say, if you'd realised the severity of the situation you'd have done more, we've all been in a similar situation at one time or another. I hope you have someone you can sit down with and talk this through, sounds to me like that would be a good idea? Raising awareness, as you have, and trying to help others is a good way of ensuring that others will look out for the signs and good can come from what must be an awful time and situation. Please do sit and chat with someone.
    • #6
      The Designated Survivor Ninja Elephant's Avatar
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      2 Not allowed!
      Sorry for your loss @spongy, don't be too hard on yourself though. Hindsight is 20/20.

      Good luck @ofco8, I'm sorry to hear the private hospital wasn't right for her. Probably the hardest thing about treating mental health is working out what works best for the individual and it is a long road, but nobody's life is all about one thing. Whatever her issues are, and without wanting to speak lightly of them, there will be things in her life which are positive and which are good. Those are the things to focus on rather than dwelling on the things which are negative. For me, that's the most important thing but again, I would never belittle anyone's feelings and especially without knowing what they were. I wish her well in her recovery as well as you and your family in your support of her.
    • #7
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      2 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by spongy View Post
      This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
      And if someone decides to choose you to talk to then PLEASE listen to them and try to help them.

      I have just left the wake of a friends funeral. He committed suicide on the corner just north of Wivelsfield station two weeks ago.

      He wasn't going through the best of times and we all knew he was struggling with things. There were some (me included) who didn't really realise just how serious the situation was. I wish I had listened more to him.

      I myself have e experienced depression and had very macabre thoughts in my late teens and early twenties of ending my life. But somehow, and I have no idea how or what happened to change my th8nking but I managed to snap myself out of it, maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe it was a strong belief in myself which I didn't know I had, or the guilt that I was worrying friends or family with my own personal actions. Or maybe the vast amount of cocaine and ecstasy that I took to leave and forget the situation I was in but something happened that saved me.

      My friend was going through what I did nearly 20 years ago. Perhaps it's the time passed that has dulled my memory of what I went through. I don't know.

      I should have listened more and seen the signs. I just didn't realise he was that desperate. I thought he would "snap" oht of it just like i did. I feel I failed him in the most inexcusable way and I will never ever forgive myself for being so blaze about it and digging my head in the sand.

      If someone doesn't seem right or their behaviour worries you in any way then please for God's sake please do your best to help.

      I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life knowing I may have been able to do something but ignored it.

      Please don't make the the same mitsake i have. I beg you. Its serious.
      Dont beat yourself up about it honestly. And I dont say that lightly it is not your fault.

      Mental illness is just the worst, for all parties involved. Its horrid. I have first hand experience how it affects you and your loved ones. PM me if you like. Keep well
    • #8
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      1 Not allowed!
      Sorry, that is so sad. I'm sure the last thing your friend would want is for anyone they've left behind to feel guilt over this. I'm sure they would want you to make the most of your life
    • #9
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      1 Not allowed!
      Not your fault - sadness, of course. Not your fault.
    • #10

      3 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by Seagull kimchi View Post
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      Not your fault - sadness, of course. Not your fault.
      This a million times.

      It does put that thread about the incident a few weeks back into perspective. I hope the person who started it gets a chance to read this thread and reflect.
      My music blog: de-minimis music

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