Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

Whores.



Mr Cleansheets

New member
Jun 7, 2017
98
Whatever happened to random encounters with horny strangers like you read about in Penthouse Forum (presuming that's still going).

Far more interesting than whore war stories.

I do have such a story, although it ends disappointingly...

When I was about 19, I walked up to the local pub which was weirdly empty...on a Saturday night. I was single at the time and most of my mates must have been in relationships and all off on the nest that night, but it was like the end of the world. There was no-one, and it was usually mobbed.

Feeling very self-conscious I sat by myself with a beer...maybe had two...averting my gaze from the only two other people in the bar - a pair of girls who were spectacularly unattractive. I could tell they were trying to catch my eye so eventually thought, bugger this, none of my mates seem to be turning up...best I scarper.

So off I went, pissed off with the world, and fifty yards down the road I saw a car go past slowly. It was the two girls from the bar and I had a kinda premonition about what was going to happen. I was right (mostly). The car turned around and cruised back past me, then turned round again and slowed right down to walking pace.

'Do you want a lift?' they called out.

'Erm...okay,' I said.

This was very much against my better judgment but I was probably feeling a bit sad and lonely. Anyway, I got into the car, which had old style bench seats, and they drove down to the end of the street and into a cul de sac where no-one lived.

They parked.

'You can have sex with us,' the thin one said, 'but you have to do it with both of us.'

'Okay,' I said, already amused at the stipulation, as though they'd been burnt before by someone who'd got his rocks off and suddenly saw the light.

So I got into the back seat with one of them who pulled her jeans off, and I almost had mine off, when I suddenly decided I just couldn't do it.

I admit my main concern was that I absolutely did not fancy either of them but could see in advance they would see the bonking as an introduction into my general social life which would massively complicate matters on so many levels - not least the fact that the girl I was chasing at the time would have totally lost any shred of respect for me if she'd found out...which she would have, mates being the evil *******s they always are.

So I started getting dressed again.

'What are you doing?'

'Can't do it sorry...I'm not that kind of boy.'

As I left they started shrieking that I was a poof etc, which made me laugh. Fortunately I was very close to a train path where they couldn't follow in their car and I got home unscathed.

Thing is, that was yonks ago and I still (somehow) feel a bit of a cad over that incident.
 






marlowe

Well-known member
Dec 13, 2015
3,929
some great stories on here :thumbsup: :lolol:

sadly I have nothing to contribute :nono:

That's a shame because if you did we certainly wouldn't be judgemental. Your name does have certain whore connotations, one being Cora Pearl one of the most celebrated courtesans in French history. Then of course there is the "pearl necklace" an accessory regularly worn by those whores who prefer not to swallow.
 


pearl

Well-known member
May 3, 2016
12,787
Behind My Eyes
That's a shame because if you did we certainly wouldn't be judgemental. Your name does have certain whore connotations, one being Cora Pearl one of the most celebrated courtesans in French history. Then of course there is the "pearl necklace" an accessory regularly worn by those whores who prefer not to swallow.

ha, ha ... she sounds an interesting character, I don't think cake and alcohol would have worked for me
 


Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
24,863
Worthing
A mate of mine from South Africa used to be a bit of a beach bum - his words not mine and travelled all round the place doing a bit of work but generally just having fun. He was in Thailand and got picked up by the inevitable Thai prostertute and they went off to do the business. When he got back to the bar they had been in everyone was laughing. "You do realise that was a bloke Brian",one of them said. " No way boys " Brian said, " she had a fanny"
"Yes she has a fanny now Brian , she's post op..... she used to have a cock"
"Actually come to think of it it did feel different " Brian said.

When he told me the story I said to him Jesus didn't you weird and disgusted when you found out.

"Yeah I suppose I must have done " he said, "but it couldn't have affected me that much because I went back the following night and had another crack at it."
 




SeagullRic

New member
Jan 13, 2008
1,399
brighton
Out in Barcelona a few years ago (2013) I think with 5 other mates from uni, 4 of whom had run the Barcelona marathon the day before. I was there to offer moral support/get extremely bladdered for 3 days afterwards.

After a very heavy night somewhere along the seafront, we all piled into a taxi back to our hostel, literally on La Rambla. It was 4:30 am and me and one of the lads were absolutely starving. Luckily for us, there was a guy selling sandwiches for 1 euro a pop with a strange mix of processed meats and cheese. Obviously I snapped up this absolute bargain, and at this point my friend asked to borrow my phone (his was dead) so he could ring his girlfriend back in the UK the little drip.

Next thing I remember is being accosted by four morbidly obese black prostitutes with shoulders as broad as Manu Tuilagi. 2 make a beeline for me and 2 for my mate and start kind of leading us off in different directions- being completely smashed neither of us really questioned this. The one on the left shouts into my ear 'Sucky sucky 20 euros', followed by the one on the right- '****y ****y 40 euros'. There's no way I could have got the little man up for a number of reasons, so I tried to palm them off with 'No please, I just want to eat my sandwich, leave me alone'. I remember having one hand on my pocket with my wallet in it but the other valiantly holding on to the Spanish delicacy I'd purchased earlier- the price went progressively down and the demands increasingly desperate/angry, but eventually we managed to get rid of both of them, returned to the hostel to find our housemate who had a long-term girlfriend of 5 years mounting a local he'd pulled in the club in a 24 bed dorm and passed out (as an aside the next morning he denied he'd shagged her, only for one of the very quiet American girls staying in another bed to produce a film she'd recorded of this girl literally wailing as he drilled into her from the bunk above. We got her to send it to my mate who still has it somewhere and the adulterer is now happily settled down with the same girlfriend).

The next morning I woke up and discovered there was no trace of my phone- I was adamant my mate had never given it back to me, he was 100% sure he had. Regardless, upon ringing Vodafone from a mate's phone they informed me that these incredibly overweight women had used my phone to call a premium rate number back in the UK 800 times, costing £1 per pop. Thankfully I was insured so managed to get this fully refunded, but it did mean I missed 'Tour' to Salou with the uni football team a week later as I didn't have the necessary funds in my bank account for a short period of time.

Long story short- if you buy the world's worst late night snack at 4:30am in a city notorious for thieving and encounter 4 ladies of the night, drop it on the floor rather than risk another bite for 800 quid!
 












BrianWade4

Well-known member
Aug 17, 2010
3,152
A nice bit of South London
Yesterday, as I was just pulling away from a customers house in a quite respectable area of Plymouth, I heared a girl shouting, looking in my wing mirror I saw a girl running down the middle of the road.
She poked her head inside my van and said that she desperately needed cash and would I like some 'business', it took a few seconds for the penny to drop and I said no, ok then how about a 'blowie' for £20, no! I replied again, ok £10, final offer, I respectfully declined again and drove off.
Have you any whore stories?

Could do a job
 




driller

my life my word
Oct 14, 2006
2,873
The posh bit
Strange isn't it !!! Here you go then, yes I have. Mrs W swings both ways and sometimes really needs that itch scratching. The deal is that I'm involved. It works for all involved - no emotional attachments because it is a business arrangement. We don't use two bit hookers off the street though.

there is a cream for that and
is this why you do not use two bit hookers?
 




Durlston

"Garlic bread!?"
NSC Patron
Jul 15, 2009
9,763
Haywards Heath
She has not. She was in an abusive marriage previously and her then husband wasn't really that understanding - or happy - of her being bisexual. It never bothered me - hell it doubles the playing field which can't be a bad thing ! We'd discussed for quite some time her sexuality and I just said - and meant - that it didn't bother me if she slept with a woman but she couldn't have a relationship. The deal started as me just watching but quickly - at Mrs W's insistance - turned into me being fully involved. It turns her on and me. Like most relationships we went through a bad patch and she read a book about how bad it was to surpress your sexuality. The rest as they say is history. Not for one minute would I recommend what we've done to save a relationship but it worked for us. I know many will see it as seedy etc but I do think society needs to be a lite more open minded in this area - slightly less of the conservative approach and more of the 60's.

And before anyone gets on their high horse about the girls we employ - each and every one has said they decided to do what they do and most have said it is because they love sex. Not a single one has appeared under duress and they have all been happy to chat about their lives etc.

You are one very lucky man! :thumbsup:

Seriously though as long as you are both very happy there is nothing wrong with it if you have a strong marriage and keeps that sparkle in the bedroom.
 




Megazone

On his last warning
Jan 28, 2015
8,679
Northern Hemisphere.
I remember a time when I was really skint and desperate for a new pair of heels but it was absolutely tipping it down.

I couldn't believe my luck that night when some stud called Paul Barber picked me up and took me to his mansion where I was introduced to his 'crew'. There was a man called 'Dick Night' there. (Let's just say I found out why his friends call him that.)
I was also introduced to someone called Gully. He was definitely a bit weird. The only one who refused to remove his pants. It got to the point where I had to leave as he was weirding me out so much with all his unnecessary waving. I wasn't used to flirting with a grown man in the full football gear including football boots. He didn't seem to want to get into the 'vibe' others like Martin Perry and Barry Lloyd seemed so natural to.
If it hadn't been for the charm of Tony Bloom, I'd been out of there straight away.

But nonetheless, a night never to forget.
 


Weststander

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Aug 25, 2011
63,882
Withdean area
I remember a time when I was really skint and desperate for a new pair of heels but it was absolutely tipping it down.

I couldn't believe my luck that night when some stud called Paul Barber picked me up and took me to his mansion where I was introduced to his 'crew'. There was a man called 'Dick Night' there. (Let's just say I found out why his friends call him that.)
I was also introduced to someone called Gully. He was definitely a bit weird. The only one who refused to remove his pants. It got to the point where I had to leave as he was weirding me out so much with all his unnecessary waving. I wasn't used to flirting with a grown man in the full football gear including football boots. He didn't seem to want to get into the 'vibe' others like Martin Perry and Barry Lloyd seemed so natural to.
If it hadn't been for the charm of Tony Bloom, I'd been out of there straight away.

But nonetheless, a night never to forget.

A leaked photo from that famous night of someone with the pseudonym 'Rover':
IMG_2199.JPG
All we were told was that he or she was an Albion director in their day job.
 


The Rivet

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2011
4,512
In light of relevant topical threads being moved from the main board I for one would welcome from Bozza or any of the other mods (and especially from the person doing it) the reason why.
Is it advert money?
Cant upset the money men or is it personal politics?
Well? what is it?

We can chat whores like neanderthal men in a bar but the main board is too sensitive for the truth?
 


Rowdey

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
2,536
Herne Hill
Two, similar to the OP..

After leaving a pokey but hectic night club/Shebeen called Green's (a few doors away from Streatham police station) a group of us inc my girfriend, staggered back to Bedford Hill across Tooting Common. A lady strolled up to me asking if i wanted a f***, to which i laughingly replied, 'No thanks, i'm with my girlfriend..' and she came back with 'She can join it too if you want..!' We walked on..

More recently off Coldharbour lane in Loughborough Junction, i parked up to consult phone for directions, and had a right skank stick her head in the passenger window asking if i wanted a shag for £20.. My 'No, thanks' was met with 'How about a tenner?' and then in desperation she offered a BJ for a fiver. Not sure how that compares nationally mind..
 






Raleigh Chopper

New member
Sep 1, 2011
12,054
Plymouth
Two, similar to the OP..

After leaving a pokey but hectic night club/Shebeen called Green's (a few doors away from Streatham police station) a group of us inc my girfriend, staggered back to Bedford Hill across Tooting Common. A lady strolled up to me asking if i wanted a f***, to which i laughingly replied, 'No thanks, i'm with my girlfriend..' and she came back with 'She can join it too if you want..!' We walked on..

More recently off Coldharbour lane in Loughborough Junction, i parked up to consult phone for directions, and had a right skank stick her head in the passenger window asking if i wanted a shag for £20.. My 'No, thanks' was met with 'How about a tenner?' and then in desperation she offered a BJ for a fiver. Not sure how that compares nationally mind..

My whores opening gambit for a 'blowie' was £20, then down to £10, she may have come down to £5 but I was not going to hang around to haggle.
£5 seems a bit cheap, especially with the time it would take at my age, that's way below a living wage.
 


Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here