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Which Premier League manager would be best in a fight?



edna krabappel

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
47,228
A very important issue to consider tonight

[tweet]895883929848127488[/tweet]

Not sure Chris Hughton should rightfully be ranked in the top half here, as I see him very much as a pacifist, whereas we all know Wagner's up for a scrap if the opportunity arises. Koeman looks to be ranked far too low for my money: he's a big unit who put himself about it a bit as a player, and I'd fancy his chances against a few of the top five. No way should Mourinho be seventh either. I reckon he'd be snidey and bitey, but not a proper scrapper.

Over to the NSC jury.
 


happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
7,935
Eastbourne
Dyche has the look of someone who would be first to get stuck in to protesters at a rally.
 


edna krabappel

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
47,228
Dyche has the look of someone who would be first to get stuck in to protesters at a rally.

Definitely. And I suspect Bilic is fairly placed in the top spot. You don't mess with the Balkans.

Hughes, I imagine to be a sort of Welsh Ronnie Pickering, ever ready with a short fuse and a heavy duty headbutt. While Rafa is obviously ranked last for fitness reasons.
 


Oct 25, 2003
23,964
hughton is the type of guy that if someone tried it on with one of his mates in a pub he'd just absolutely knock him out without saying a word before quietly returning to his pint

with absolutely no change in his facial expressions whatsoever
 






Oct 25, 2003
23,964
i think pochetino lower, hughes higher (he was a HARD player), mourinho lower, koeman MUCH higher

bilic, dyche and pulis is a fair top 3, but would all be a place lower if big nigel pearson was still in a job- that guy looks like he's got blood on his hands
 


edna krabappel

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
47,228








Oct 25, 2003
23,964
That's why he always wears a jacket, concealing a shooter.

I think Bilic would be a hit man with a very particular trademark method of killing- and I reckon he'd want to do it up close and person....maybe like a screwdriver or something. He'd get his thrill from the personal connection he'd have with his victim and would want to look deep into their eyes right up until the final breath. Then he'd wipe everything clean in a very detailed manner before speeding off on his motorbike- WITHOUT a helmet
 


edna krabappel

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
47,228
Wenger would of course fight like a fifteen year old girl after half a bottle of 20/20.
 




Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,341
Faversham
Dyche has the look of someone who would be first to get stuck in to protesters at a rally.

Nooo! He's post op transgender, overdoing the deep voice and facial hair. Offer him a Babycham and all bets are off.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,341
Faversham
Bilic lost his hair last season and had an effing transplant. H's a guitar playing ponce.

Pulis RIPPED out his own hair.

I would not even think about dreaming about the possibility of ****ing with Pulis.
 


Colossal Squid

Returning video tapes
Feb 11, 2010
4,906
Under the sea
Mourinho is clearly nowhere near top half of the table. He would be scrapping in the relegation spots with Rafa and Wenger.

Our Chris is so cool, calm and softly spoken that he could easily be head of an international crime syndicate. You never see anyone lose their rag with him because they just know he's not somebody you cross.

I also think Dyche is overrated as a hardman. He's just a bit gravelly
 






The Fifth Column

Retired ex-cop
Nov 30, 2010
4,008
Escaped from Corruption
Wenger would of course fight like a fifteen year old girl after half a bottle of 20/20.

Granted, but being French he'll be carrying a flick-knife so not to be underestimated. Benitez would have picked up a lot of streetskillz from the Geordies and would be having to be 'held back' by his mates however wouldn't throw a punch in anger and would topple over.
 


Farehamseagull

Solly March Fan Club
Nov 22, 2007
13,776
Sarisbury Green, Southampton
Pulis at 3 is ridiculous! Ahead of Mark Hughes, really?!

Pulis reminds me of my old west highland terrier. He used to be full of bark against the bigger dogs and time and time again a labrador would end up pinning him to the floor.

I would LOVE any of the other 19 to knock the smug grin of that twunt Howe though.
 


edna krabappel

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
47,228
This really needs a mock-up of the Anchorman scene where all the news teams take each other on in a big scrap.
 




jakarta

Well-known member
May 25, 2007
15,616
Sullington
Hughes used to be a bit tasty in his playing career I seem to recall, no reason to think he wouldn't front up to any of the others, even Bilic...
 


Eeyore

Lord Donkey of Queen's Park
NSC Patreon
Apr 5, 2014
23,381
chris-hughton-and-arsene.jpg
 



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