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How do you say no to Brighton beggars?



herecomesaregular

We're in the pipe, 5 by 5
Oct 27, 2008
4,159
Still in Brighton
Christ, they're everywhere in our city.

When asked for money I meet eye contact, smile but shake my head. I'm uncomfortable saying "no thanks" as they aren't offering anything and it seems trite but I also want to acknowledge their existence and not blank them. But I won't give them money.

I don't believe in begging and don't believe (with my limited experience working with clients who associate with homeless friends and with colleagues who regularly directly work with them) that giving cash helps at all. (note to critics, I give items regularly to Hope on London Rd/Preston Rd (?) and have a tiny regular dd to Barnados as many of them have been through the child care system. It's not much but it's something).

Just wondering what you do?
 

TSB

Captain Hindsight
Jul 7, 2003
17,666
Lansdowne Place, Hove
"No, sorry."
On average I get asked around 4-5 times a day.
Worse in summer.

Almost impossible to tell those genuinely in need from those just on the con, in my experience.
 

herecomesaregular

We're in the pipe, 5 by 5
Oct 27, 2008
4,159
Still in Brighton
Not a criticism but are you sorry though? (Which is why I can't say it). Don't know why this issue is bothering me tonight so much but just walked back from the city centre and was asked 7 times! In my limited experienced, and discussed at work with a colleague who spent 20 years living in different parks across the country, even he said giving money won't help. Only the homeless person engaging fully in the support that is truly actually available really helps.
 


I try and remain polite but I don't give.

It's your money so it's up to you but I work in St James Street and in a lot of cases you're simply funding off licences, roulette machines or the city's drug trade. The girl with the cockney accent and the little dog often attempts to change up £50/£60 worth of smash in the bookies or the kebab shop
 


Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
49,900
Goldstone
Likewise, why would you even consider saying sorry?!!
Because you're being asked for help, and you're unable/unwilling to give it, so you're saying sorry for not giving the help. I've no problem if you don't want to say sorry, but if you have a basic grasp of English you should understand why others might choose to say sorry.
 

dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Mar 27, 2013
51,895
Burgess Hill
Just got back from a few days in Edinburgh. Equally bad, if not worse, problem there........and very alcohol-related judging by the empties surrounding some of those asking for money.
 

herecomesaregular

We're in the pipe, 5 by 5
Oct 27, 2008
4,159
Still in Brighton
Because you're being asked for help, and you're unable/unwilling to give it, so you're saying sorry for not giving the help. I've no problem if you don't want to say sorry, but if you have a basic grasp of English you should understand why others might choose to say sorry.

Doesn't take long on NSC to get an arsey ridiculing put down response (to which I'm not offended btw but it is a shame). It was a genuine question. Basic grasp of English...... hah
 


Commander

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Apr 28, 2004
12,767
London
It's definitely got worse. I used to live in Brighton about 13 years ago and only started working in the city again recently, and it was one of the first things I noticed. I always feel bad saying no, but judging by the amount of northern accents it always seems to me like a lot of them come to Brighton because it's a good place to beg. That's probably a simplistic view, but I bet there aren't loads of beggars in Newcastle with southern accents.

When I lived in London a guy came up to me just before Christmas one year, in tears, and said he'd just heard that his kid had been rushed to hospital and that he didn't have the cash for the taxi fare and was there any way I could help him out. He was so clearly genuine, and so clearly distressed, that I gave him a tenner. He was so grateful and touched and I went on my way feeling very happy that I'd done a good deed at the time of year for giving, and all that.

About 6 months later the same guy approached in the same place with the same story.

Think that's the last time I gave cash to a beggar.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
49,900
Goldstone
Doesn't take long on NSC to get an arsey ridiculing put down response
Indeed. I feel slightly bad that it took until post 9.
to which I'm not offended btw but it is a shame
I'm confident you'll get over it.
It was a genuine question. Basic grasp of English...... hah
You asked a genuine question in your first post, and you got genuine responses. Saying thanks would be weird in anyone's book. There's no decent explanation you can give for saying thanks. You've then likened that to saying sorry. Surely you can see why saying sorry can make sense, even if it's not for you?
 


carteater

Well-known member
Jan 1, 2014
4,825
West Sussex
I say the classic "Sorry mate. I don't have any change"
Sometimes I do give change but not all the time.

Or when I leave a club absolutely wankered after failing to pull, "no **** off I don't have any ****ing change".
 
It's definitely got worse. I used to live in Brighton about 13 years ago and only started working in the city again recently, and it was one of the first things I noticed. I always feel bad saying no, but judging by the amount of northern accents it always seems to me like a lot of them come to Brighton because it's a good place to beg. That's probably a simplistic view, but I bet there aren't loads of beggars in Newcastle with southern accents.

When I lived in London a guy came up to me just before Christmas one year, in tears, and said he'd just heard that his kid had been rushed to hospital and that he didn't have the cash for the taxi fare and was there any way I could help him out. He was so clearly genuine, and so clearly distressed, that I gave him a tenner. He was so grateful and touched and I went on my way feeling very happy that I'd done a good deed at the time of year for giving, and all that.

About 6 months later the same guy approached in the same place with the same story.

Think that's the last time I gave cash to a beggar.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm saddened to hear this but not surprised. I'm saddened because once upon a time I was a very trusting, helpful and generous man. Life experience has now taught me to be very cynical and untrusting, an act that has often proved to be the correct one.
 

herecomesaregular

We're in the pipe, 5 by 5
Oct 27, 2008
4,159
Still in Brighton
Indeed. I feel slightly bad that it took until post 9.
I'm confident you'll get over it.
You asked a genuine question in your first post, and you got genuine responses. Saying thanks would be weird in anyone's book. There's no decent explanation you can give for saying thanks. You've then likened that to saying sorry. Surely you can see why saying sorry can make sense, even if it's not for you?


Absolutely and your explanation is a clear and good one, although I'm still not convinced I agree with it. If I say sorry I want to be genuine. And I'm not sorry not to give them money (because I feel it won't help them). And i think people are saying sorry for not giving them money, they're not saying sorry for the situation the homeless person has found themselves in?

And it was a put down, you appear to want to feel superior.

Edit - I heard three other people tonight say No thanks btw!
 

Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
19,738
Playing snooker
When I lived in London a guy came up to me just before Christmas one year, in tears, and said he'd just heard that his kid had been rushed to hospital and that he didn't have the cash for the taxi fare and was there any way I could help him out. He was so clearly genuine, and so clearly distressed, that I gave him a tenner. He was so grateful and touched and I went on my way feeling very happy that I'd done a good deed at the time of year for giving, and all that.

About 6 months later the same guy approached in the same place with the same story.

Jeez - how unlucky can one family be?
 


papajaff

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2005
3,965
Brighton
I never ignore them. Just say hi, how are you. They are people after all. Try it, you'll be surprised.
 

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