Would you sleep in a double bed with your 13-year old opposite sex child?

Normal Rob · Apr 7, 2017

I'm a father of 3 girls, the oldest of whom is 11.

Unlike this guy, i would never book a double bed room. However much i wanted to stay in that hotel i would have found another. However if there was an administartive error and we arrived on the day to find this was the situation, then yes i would sleep on the the bed, clothed, and lying on top of the sheets.

Triggaaar · Apr 7, 2017

father_and_son said:
My 13yo is the same gender as me so this scenario is only hypothetical for me

Is it not basically the same thing? What difference does it make if your child is the same or opposite sex?

Arthritic Toe · Apr 7, 2017

Blimey - I wouldn't think twice about it.

Triggaaar · Apr 7, 2017

Bodular said:
Someone else's child I wouldn't

No shit.

Triggaaar · Apr 7, 2017

Albumen said:
I give my mum a hug every now and again - I don't want to **** her.

Not even a little bit?

FatSuperman · Apr 7, 2017

If there wasn't another option then I would, not something to make a massive fuss about but would be much better for all of there were twin beds etc. We have a huge bed at home and despite this my three year old daughter sometimes joins us during the night and takes up twice the room that I do. God knows what it would be like when she's a decade bigger!

Bad Ash · Apr 7, 2017

I think a lot of people haven't understood the BBC story, the hotel were not convinced that the man was the father of the girl, and that is why they called the police.

CP 0 3 BHA · Apr 7, 2017

Interesting issue this.

As a father of two daughters now over 13 I can say that i wouldn't ever plan to share a double bed with either of them - but if an exceptional circumstance such as outlined here arose I'd accept the arrangement - but suspect the relevant daughter would soon object to my snoring.

As an owner of a B&B I can see that the arrival of a middle aged guy and a 13 year old girl would raise eyebrows - and I can understand that a big hotel chain would have a child protection policy in place that may well involve a referral at least up the line and possibly to the police. The problem is that I can imagine it is difficult to prove a father/daughter relationship with paperwork in such circumstances. I think if faced with something similar at our B&B I would try to engage the child in some discussion at check in and showing them the room and hope that their behavior and my instinct would tell me if things were not as they seem and that I needed to call the police (which I certainly would only do reluctantly).

Justice · Apr 7, 2017

Triggaaar said:
Not even a little bit?

Bit weird

Silent Bob · Apr 7, 2017

Would people that voted no ever be alone in a room with their 13 year old child?

albionfan37 · Apr 7, 2017

The issue shouldn't be wether you're comfortable with it but your daughter and to imply that the dad's upto no good is a terrible blight on our society that the first thought is bad at the end of the day they slept in the same bed not bloody spooning ffs

Triggaaar · Apr 7, 2017

Goldstone1976 said:
he booked a double bed - though it's true that there weren't any others available in that hotel [how hard did he look for others?])

I don't know, so I'm not jumping to conclusions. Maybe he had no other real options, I don't know.

You say that there are no circumstances in which you would, but then you say you can see how it could have happened as it did to Larus, so I guess you've changed your view.

Emily's Mum · Apr 7, 2017

SIMMO SAYS said:
My daughter snores so it's a no from me

Both of mine snore!

However, I have booked twin rooms for myself & my son (in his 20s) in hotels, only to turn up & find out they've given us a double. I think that on the Premier Inn website you have to but the names of all the people staying in the room, so we turn up to the Premier Inn in Barnsley & the receptionist says "We've managed to get you a double room so that you can snuggle up together". Of course Two guests with the same surname, one a Mrs & the other Mr are bound to be married!

The_Viper · Apr 7, 2017

skipper734 said:
I think that's fair enough on the Hotel. They may not have been related, they only have the guys word that it was his daughter. I would be pleased that they where keeping an eye out.

I think that's fair enough on the Hotel. They may not have been related, they only have the womans word that it was her son. I would be pleased that they where keeping an eye out.

Do you agree with the reverse phrase? Because I can guarantee there would be a different kind of outrage were the genders reversed.

SUIYHP · Apr 7, 2017

I think it's overreacting from the hotel even if they believed it was not a father/daughter. My impression would be that someone who sexually abused minors would be very aware that what they were doing is illegal, and would try to avoid arousing suspicion.

Personally I wouldn't book to sleep in a double bed mind you. Think as other posters have stressed, a thirteen year old daughter is going through a lot of changes and needs some space.

Bold Seagull · Apr 7, 2017

Goldstone1976 said:
Many people on this thread have commented on society's attitude, or the hotel calling the police. I deliberately phrased the question in a more personal way - would you sleep in a double bed with your 13-year old opposite sex child?

I stated up front that I wouldn't; here's why not. It's not societal pressure, or lack of intimacy; it's simply that by the time both my daughters were 13 they were acutely aware of their puberty and coming sexuality. While they would both have slept in the same bed as me had I arranged it (as this man did - he booked a double bed - though it's true that there weren't any others available in that hotel [how hard did he look for others?]), I believe neither would have chosen to do so had twin beds been an option. So, my principle reason for not doing so was to give them space as they transitioned from girlhood to womanhood.

Larus' story about the Green Day gig I can completely relate to, and I can see that that could have happened to me and my daughters in similar circumstances.

That is just reflective of your personal relationship between you and your daughters. I wouldn't have an issue with booking a double bed with my 12 yr old daughter, although I would ensure she doesn't feel weird about it – different kids grow up / have different issues at different times. I think this is very much a personal thing, but for me, nothing weird about it either way.

pasty · Apr 7, 2017

If, and it's a big if, the hotel staff had any reason to seriously be suspicious that the man was the girls father, then yes, they did the right thing. If they were not suspicious, then I really don't understand what their problem was.

Zawn Kellys · Apr 7, 2017

What a sad world! I am cycling from the channel to the med this summer with my 15 year old daughter, staying in hotels etc each night. it had not even crossed my mind that we had to find twin rooms!

Ernest · Apr 7, 2017

Zawn Kellys said:
What a sad world! I am cycling from the channel to the med this summer with my 15 year old daughter, staying in hotels etc each night. it had not even crossed my mind that we had to find twin rooms!

Weirdo ALERT

Tom Hark Preston Park · Apr 7, 2017

Zawn Kellys said:
What a sad world! I am cycling from the channel to the med this summer with my 15 year old daughter, staying in hotels etc each night. it had not even crossed my mind that we had to find twin rooms!

Have to say it would never cross my mind NOT to seek out twin rooms first. And if a double room was the only option, I'd sleep on the floor or across whatever chair/settee sofa was provided.
But, hey, each to their own. :shrug:

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