Joke du Jour

hans kraay fan club said:

If Ma'am pinned the first guy's medal to his 4RSE, then why was the genitally afflicted guy's medal pinned to his CHEST rather than his COCK?

Make's no sense, unless she just wanted an EXCUSE to fondle the guy's posterior.

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Tim Over Whelmed said:

According to The Gazette HM Queen has no appointments in Scotland today, are you sure this is factually correct?

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hart's shirt said:

Unless the Queen were based in Balmoral, it would seem rather a long journey for a 90 year old monarch to have to make, especially given that she is scaling down her public engagements and delegating more to William and Harry with their military careers.

It would have been more prudent for the soldiers on recovery to have visited Buckingham Palace and received their medals there.

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The Andy Naylor Fan Club said:

The Queen visits a scottish army hospital and visits ward A. Inside is a Scots Soldier lying on his front with a cage and a blanket over his Bum. The Queen turns to him amd says
"And What are you in for?"
"Ma'am I've Got a terrible bout of Dysentry"
"Gosh"replies the Queen"And Whats the treatment for that?"
"Wire Brush and Dettol three times a day"he says
" And Do You Have any ambition left in life?" She Asks
"Yes Ma'am To Beat this terrible affliction and get back to serve for my Queen and Country"he replies
"That's Mighty Brave Of You "she says and pins a medal of honour on his Bum

So Then SHe Moves Onto the second Patient Of The Three And Asks:-
"And What are you in for?"
"Ma'am Iv'e Got a terrible strain of genital Herpes"
"Gosh"replies the Queen"And Whats the treatment for that?"
"Wire Brush and Dettol three times a day" he says
" And Do You Have any ambition left in life?" She Asks
"Yes Ma'am To Beat this terrible affliction and get back to serve for my Queen and Country"he replies
"That's Mighty Brave Of You "she says and pins a medal of honour on his Chest
She Moves Onto the Last Patient and asks
"What are you in for?"
The soldier replies in a croaky voice
"tonsilitis"
"And Whats the treatment for that?"
"Wire Brush and dettol three times a day ma'am "comes the croaky reply"
"Ohhhh Is'nt that awfully painful"She Asks
"Whatever it takes to beat this affliction and get back to serving My Queen And Country"He Says Proudly
"And Do You Have any ambition left in life"she asks
"yes" The Man Replies "To get the Wire brush and dettol before those two dirty Ba***rds!!!"

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Gazwag said:

Have you split Dettol on your caPs LoCk

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