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  1. #1
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    Legal advice, family law.


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    Hi, I am in the unfortunate situation of my wife of 10 years telling me she wants us to divorce. It's hit me like a train because I didn't think things were that bad and there has been not adultery or abuse. We've got a pretty normal relationship. We've got a house and two kids together, no savings of significance as all our money went into the house. I haven't moved out, just into the spare room and I have no intentions of leaving, even though I really want to.
    I was wondering if anyone has any advice they can give me? Do's and do not's? I don't want to screw things up for myself by making wrong choices at this early stage. Any helpful advice is appreciated.

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    • #2
      Members Weststander's Avatar
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      Very sorry. Excuse the unintended pun, but that's a 'sensible' move to not move out yet, handing the security and shelter of your home over to Mrs.CS. Whilst not forking out rent elsewhere for the moment.

      I think you really need to see a solicitor specialising in family law, however galling it is to pay their mega hourly rate. Many of them now offer Mediation, which can be a far cheaper and amicable route.

      Good luck.
    • #3
      A. Virgo, Football Genius
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      sounds very like a friend's situation 6 months back. only advice can offer, even if you may not want to lawyer up, get proper legal advice. she probably has someone in her ear telling her what she can and cant expect, you need to know where you stand and get most for you. law and family courts will protect the kids if it gets ugly, though try to do what you can to maintain relationship with them of course.

      and start recording all expenses and bills, who's paying what out of which accounts, so it can all be split and you dont end up paying her loan or find a bunch of bills haven't been paid.
      Last edited by beorhthelm; 08-03-2017 at 11:12.
      Daily Mail readers are living in a perpetual hell, expecting their homes to be overrun at any minute by hoodie wearing, skunk smoking, muslim, transgender, asylum seekers.
    • #4
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      How old are the children?
    • #5
      Massive up 170417 LamieRobertson's Avatar
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      Sorry to hear your sad news....cant offer any advice except to say keep communicating with each other and wish you all the best
    • #6
      Sex Panther
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      First off, my sympathies for your situation - I wish you all the best.

      I've had a family member go through exactly the same situation as you fairly recently. All I can advise, to echo some of the other comments above, is to find yourself a solicitor ASAP. They will almost certainly advocate the mediation route as a starting point, but it is really important to make sure that you've got a solicitor in your corner working through everything with you.
    • #7
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      Is marriage counselling the first port of call ahead of solicitors? Attempting to establish the root cause of the issues, working through them, trialling a separation to start with perhaps. Seems pretty extreme to go from normal to wanting a divorce. Legal advice can't be a bad option either so you know where you stand, but attempting to salvage the situation, got to be worth a go. Divorce always seems so definite and costly. People separating for a period sometimes get their heads in order and can often reconcile. Can only wish you and your family the best of luck.
    • #8
      HellBilly Psychobilly freakout's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Captain Sensible View Post
      This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
      Hi, I am in the unfortunate situation of my wife of 10 years telling me she wants us to divorce. It's hit me like a train because I didn't think things were that bad and there has been not adultery or abuse. We've got a pretty normal relationship. We've got a house and two kids together, no savings of significance as all our money went into the house. I haven't moved out, just into the spare room and I have no intentions of leaving, even though I really want to.
      I was wondering if anyone has any advice they can give me? Do's and do not's? I don't want to screw things up for myself by making wrong choices at this early stage. Any helpful advice is appreciated.
      So sorry to hear your news, I do not know how I would cope with such life changing news.

      Good luck with everything, and the children are the most important thing don't let yourself or your partner use them as pawns in the divorce.
      PsYcHoBiLlY fReAkOuT "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law"
    • #9
      Members Hamilton's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Captain Sensible View Post
      This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
      Hi, I am in the unfortunate situation of my wife of 10 years telling me she wants us to divorce. It's hit me like a train because I didn't think things were that bad and there has been not adultery or abuse. We've got a pretty normal relationship. We've got a house and two kids together, no savings of significance as all our money went into the house. I haven't moved out, just into the spare room and I have no intentions of leaving, even though I really want to.
      I was wondering if anyone has any advice they can give me? Do's and do not's? I don't want to screw things up for myself by making wrong choices at this early stage. Any helpful advice is appreciated.
      Do you love your wife?

      If you do, then do everything you possibly can to sort things out. Leave no stone unturned. Counselling, mediation whatever. Tell her you are 100% committed to making it work. Do not move out.

      If that is what you want.
      Either that wallpaper goes or I do
    • #10
      The voice of reason. hans kraay fan club's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Hamilton View Post
      This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
      Do you love your wife?

      If you do, then do everything you possibly can to sort things out. Leave no stone unturned. Counselling, mediation whatever. Tell her you are 100% committed to making it work. Do not move out.

      If that is what you want.
      Surely THIS, has to be the right answer, in the first instance?
      The above post is simply my opinion. I am not bullying you, should it differ from your own.

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