Joke d'annee

E

essbee

New member

Jan 5, 2005

3,656

• Jul 20, 2016

• #1

Darts match. An implausible scenario - but picture the scene.

first player, first dart - double top.
second dart, another double top.

Just as the third dart is in flight, a nun walks across the line of
the board, hits her/him (let's be PC) and kills him/her.

Caller shouts out: "one nun dead and eighty".



Coat! Taxi! oh FFS take it or leave it.

 

D

DavidRyder

Well-known member

Jul 23, 2013

2,885

• Jul 20, 2016

• #2

That is a real groaner! Good though!

 

Withdean11

Well-known member

Feb 18, 2007

2,773

Brighton/Hyde

• Jul 20, 2016

• #3

Due to the speed the dart travels, the dart player must have known she was there. Why throw the dart? Sounds like murder to me.

 

E

essbee

New member

Jan 5, 2005

3,656

• Jul 20, 2016

• Thread starter
• #4

DavidRyder said:

That is a real groaner! Good though!

Click to expand...

Cheers Ryder

 

The Albion Roar

97.2FM

Aug 11, 2003

2,728

The Open Market

• Jul 20, 2016

• #5

What's the nun doing being so careless walking across the line of a darts match?

How come the dart never hit her on the way to the board? It's such a bad idea for her to walk across the line of trajectory when she should clearly see what's going on.

And what was about the dart that killed her? Surely the rebound slows the dart's velocity to a mere sloping off towards the ground. Where did it hit her in order that she suffered such catastrophic and fatal wounds? Or was it a lethal drug in the tip of the dart that immediately kills her (and it is only ever a 'her')?

 

mejonaNO12 aka riskit

Well-known member

Dec 4, 2003

21,497

England

• Jul 20, 2016

• #6

The caller would not incorporate the physical state of a human being into the announcement of a darts score.

It is also concerning that the caller is willing to accept that third date as valid.

I think you've been told a fib here. I don't believe this for one second.

 

Mr Bridger

Sound of the suburbs

Feb 25, 2013

4,440

Earth

• Jul 20, 2016

• #7

Two American kids growin' up in the heartland

 

Dick Swiveller

Well-known member

Sep 9, 2011

9,155

• Jul 20, 2016

• #8

That joke is literally over 30 years old as I remember it as a kid.

 

P

Postman Pat

Well-known member

Jul 24, 2007

6,971

Coldean

• Jul 20, 2016

• #9

I'd be surprised if the caller would know that the nun had died that quickly, how does he know she isn't unconscious. I would suggest he may be implicated in the murder of the nun, some sort of religious attack maybe?

 

AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️

Feb 2, 2014

33,801

Ruislip

• Jul 20, 2016

• #10

essbee said:

Darts match. An implausible scenario - but picture the scene.

first player, first dart - double top.
second dart, another double top.

Just as the third dart is in flight, a nun walks across the line of
the board, hits her/him (let's be PC) and kills him/her.

Caller shouts out: "one nun dead and eighty".



Coat! Taxi! oh FFS take it or leave it.

Click to expand...

I hope her sister does not make a habit of this

 

M

Machiavelli

Well-known member

Oct 11, 2013

16,646

Fiveways

• Jul 20, 2016

• #11

My distant memory informs me that double-top yields 40 points. Given that the OP has told us that the player threw two double-tops, and was on 80 points, does that mean darts rules that hitting a nun is worth 100 points?

 

Moshe Gariani

Well-known member

Mar 10, 2005

12,071

• Jul 20, 2016

• #12

Dick Swiveller said:

That joke is literally over 30 years old as I remember it as a kid.

Click to expand...

Around the same vintage in my mind as the Bobby Sands' phone number gag which would date it to 1981. Any advance on 35 years old...?

 

Hugo Rune

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Feb 23, 2012

21,614

Brighton

• Jul 20, 2016

• #13

Nun's can't be men FYI! PC gone mad!

 

mejonaNO12 aka riskit

Well-known member

Dec 4, 2003

21,497

England

• Jul 20, 2016

• #14

Dick Swiveller said:

That joke is literally over 30 years old as I remember it as a kid.

Click to expand...

You KNEW about this dart-wielding nun killer from THIRTY YEARS AGO and have done NOTHING to stop him?

Blood on your hands sir. Blood on your hands.

 

Withdean11

Well-known member

Feb 18, 2007

2,773

Brighton/Hyde

• Jul 20, 2016

• #15

Got to question the security here too. Why have they allowed a member of the public to walk in front of the dartboard.

Also, i highly doubt i nun would attend the darts.

 

Ninja Elephant

Doctor Elephant

Feb 16, 2009

18,855

• Jul 20, 2016

• #16

I hope the player apologised for throwing doubles in open scoring, bad etiquette that is I'm afraid. Maybe the joke would work better as throwing a treble 20 then a single before the tragic outcome of the third?

 

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DavidRyder

Well-known member

Jul 23, 2013

2,885

• Jul 20, 2016

• #17

Did he win the match? Must be pretty miffed if those lost points cost him.

 

Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati

Helpful Moderator

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Jul 23, 2003

34,120

Up and Coming Sunny Portslade

• Jul 20, 2016

• #18

Was it one of those nuns that's often in a bath?

 

Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!

Helpful Moderator

NSC Patron

Apr 30, 2013

13,783

Herts

• Jul 20, 2016

• #19

How do we know that it was a nun? It could have been a Muslim woman wearing a Hijab or Khimar. If it was the latter, it might have been murder; a deliberate hate crime. I bet the thrower did it on purpose.

 

S

Shropshire Seagull

Well-known member

Nov 5, 2004

8,496

Telford

• Jul 20, 2016

• #20

mejonaNO12 aka riskit said:

You KNEW about this dart-wielding nun killer from THIRTY YEARS AGO and have done NOTHING to stop him?

Blood on your hands sir. Blood on your hands.

Click to expand...

I'm sure I first heard this in the late 70's when the crafty cockerknee was purported to be the murderer.
I can only presume that some DNA preserved at the crime scene now has him banged to rights ....

As for the nun, contributory negligence [and a lack of prayer on the day] was reported as a significant contribution to her demise at the time IIRC.