Father's Rights/Children

sully · May 23, 2016

Shy Talk said:
Whatever you decide to do, keep in contact with your boys/girls and they will come back to you. Eventually !

Very much this.

I was advised against spending a fortune getting court orders as it's still easy for the mother to avoid you getting the contact if that's what she intends to do. The courts are very reluctant to put a mother in prison as they need to consider the child's welfare above all.

My ex did all the mental poisoning of my kids against me and my new partner (who wasn't involved at the time of the split), but we kept being ourselves and letting the kids know we cared. I even had a run in with the school over a couple of issues when they were less than impartial and completely out of order.

Slowly but surely, my son saw through the lies and now has a better relationship with me than his mum. My daughter has taken longer but has finally thrown most of the baggage she was handed by her mum to one side and we get on much better again.

My main advice is to make sure you never involve the kids in any of the nonsense going on between their parents if at all possible. Just continue to act in a loving way towards them and hopefully they will see the lies for what they are.

I don't envy anyone going through what we did, but I'm delighted to say that I can finally see a situation where the future is bright once again.

Westdene Seagull · May 23, 2016

Herr Tubthumper said:
I can understand why she won't let you near them.

Soulman said:
What a sick sick comment. Just because you do not agree with the posters views on the EU...... what a sad act you are.

I have to say HT, not on. As someone who's been through the access issue / still going through it - i.e. she won't let me see them as much as I would like - that is a pretty ignorant and unfeeling statement to make.

EDIT - just seen your apology :thumbsup:

Westdene Seagull · May 23, 2016

Tyrone Biggums said:
Just go on the Jeremy Kyle show so we can all watch.

Oh good - another crass c**t like comment. Care to man up like HT did and apologise ?

Maldini · May 23, 2016

symyjym said:
Why didn't you say this when you started the thread?

I thought it was obvious from my first post.

Maldini · May 23, 2016

sully said:
Very much this.

I was advised against spending a fortune getting court orders as it's still easy for the mother to avoid you getting the contact if that's what she intends to do.

I used a McKensie Friend.For anyone who doesn't know who they are they are basically unqualified people who have a wealth of knowledge regards family courts and procedures.Some have been through the process themselves and want to help others.The one I used has been to court representing fathers hundreds of times and probably has more experience than most family law solicitors.They are also far cheaper.

I would also advise anyone having problems to join Families Need Fathers as their forums are very useful with many fathers/some McKensie Friends able to give good advice and support.

For me you have to go into the court process expecting nothing and understanding that you will be treated like you are irrelevant.Therefore after that you can only work your way up.

Never give up and remember the main priority is access for your children to their father.You are representing them and fighting for their rights.

glasfryn · May 23, 2016

after a very long fight I got joint custrdy and full care and control, simply because she decided to get p1ssed up every night with the new man and have a roll about in the bed in the same room as the kids, and stupidly admitted it in court.
I done a pretty good job of looking after the children for 4 years on my own, and admittedly do not even see my son now, but my daughter has been an absolute rock.
things to be careful of
court welfare officers
opposing solicors (will string the case along to make more money)
and employ a barrister if you can afford it even for half an hour
and mostly beware a lying mother in law (surfice to say my ex-mother in law was asked to leave the court)
anyone going through this minefield I can only wish them luck and finally say look after the childrens interest, they normally are the ones through this with the brains and love to get you through it

Tyrone Biggums · May 23, 2016

Westdene Seagull said:
Oh good - another crass c**t like comment. Care to man up like HT did and apologise ?

Nothing crass about it. You'll get a better hearing there than you will in the female biased family courts system.

Thunder Bolt · May 23, 2016

Tyrone Biggums said:
Nothing crass about it. You'll get a better hearing there than you will in the female biased family courts system.

I had no idea you were such an expert on UK Family courts. My father got custody of me back in the dark old days of misogeny in the 1950s.

smeg · May 23, 2016

Herr Tubthumper said:
It was a very poorly thought out and crass attempt at humour. One which I regret. I apologise for any offence caused.

In defence of your comment HT, pretty sure most readers on here would have seen that as banter and humour, I love it when the NSC keyboard warriors make an example of someone here, the bandwagon that keeps on giving.

Tyrone Biggums · May 23, 2016

Thunder Bolt said:
I had no idea you were such an expert on UK Family courts. My father got custody of me back in the dark old days of misogeny in the 1950s.

There wouldn't be "fathers groups" if the system was fair.

Triggaaar · May 23, 2016

Tyrone Biggums said:
Nothing crass about it. You'll get a better hearing there than you will in the female biased family courts system.

Hearing? Will Jeremy Kyle make a legally binding decision?

Tyrone Biggums · May 23, 2016

Triggaaar said:
Hearing? Will Jeremy Kyle make a legally binding decision?

It's amazing how many peoples lies are exposed under that kind of spotlight.

Today's courts are no longer innocent until proven guilty. All it takes is a false accusation for a father to be guilty until proven innocent.

Triggaaar · May 23, 2016

smeg said:
In defence of your comment HT, pretty sure most readers on here would have seen that as banter and humour

I thought perhaps HT assumed the situation hadn't happened to the OP.

I love it when the NSC keyboard warriors make an example of someone here, the bandwagon that keeps on giving.

It was right for someone to point out HT was out of line, but christ the wagon got full quickly.

Triggaaar · May 23, 2016

Tyrone Biggums said:
Nothing crass about it. You'll get a better hearing there than you will in the female biased family courts system.

Tyrone Biggums said:
It's amazing how many peoples lies are exposed under that kind of spotlight.

Right, but to be clear, you don't get a better hearing on the Jeremy Kyle show, because you don't get a hearing at all.

Tyrone Biggums · May 23, 2016

Triggaaar said:
Right, but to be clear, you don't get a better hearing on the Jeremy Kyle show, because you don't get a hearing at all.

You can get a lie detector test. Much harder to fool than an arse clown of a judge. And without the bias.

Thunder Bolt · May 23, 2016

Tyrone Biggums said:
You can get a lie detector test. Much harder to fool than an arse clown of a judge. And without the bias.

Lie detectors are not accurate enough for a court even a family court. They average 90% accuracy.
You are advocating trial by media.

Edit to add a point you brought up earlier. There is a father's group because a few fathers have been treated unfairly. No system is going to be completely fair and there will always be anomalies. You've heard about it via the media which will always report the more extreme cases.

Big_Unit · May 23, 2016

I went through this eight years ago and won. The court basically said it was a no-brainer - they're very fair to fathers these days.

alfredmizen · May 23, 2016

Herr Tubthumper said:
I can understand why she won't let you near them.

probably not the thread to make comments like that mate.

Triggaaar · May 23, 2016

Tyrone Biggums said:
You can get a lie detector test. Much harder to fool than an arse clown of a judge. And without the bias.

Such fun, but you still don't get a legally binding decision to see your kids.

But despite knowing this, your advice to anyone whose not being allowed to see their kids is for them to go on Jeremy Kyle. That's actually your advice :facepalm:

jackanada · May 23, 2016

Bloody he'll. Glad my missus still seems a reasonable sort.

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